90210 recapping: vegas, maybe?

These 90210 kids know how to live it up in Las Vegas! Thanks to hanging with “celeb” Liam, they get access to the hottest VIP pool party in what could pass as a backyard pool in the Valley. Yes, the gang—even Teddy—took a spontaneous trip to Vegas simply because Naomi wanted to follow her new boyfriend Austin. Apparently no one has any responsibilities like school or work, oh except for Silver who is somehow the most critical campaign staffer to politician Marissa (wow, that is not a good sign Brandy!). Fortunately for us, but unfortunately for the kiddos, their problems follow them to Sin City and lead to very fun moments!

• Happy Birthday Mr. Austin! Naomi wants to be the best girlfriend ever to Austin, especially since he isn’t normally into the whole relationship thing. She even has her chef prepare breakfast, so that she can focus on the “in bed” part. Therefore, she is shocked when he blows town without her to spend his birthday in Vegas with his father. Naomi is not one to take a hint, so she immediately gathers her “sad and pathetic” crew to all head to Vegas so that she doesn’t have to go “sad and pathetically” alone. Turns out daddy is a total jerk “country singer super star” named Judd who constantly tells his son what a disappointment he is. This explains why Austin doesn’t want Naomi there—even he doesn’t want to be there. I often wonder if the writers pull costume ideas for Naomi out of a hat each week and then make it their creative writing challenge to build her story around it. This week my suspicion was confirmed, again, in that Naomi had to sneak into Judd’s party for his son and to do so she wrangled the Marilyn Monroe outfit off the impersonator—and ended up serenading Austin as the blonde bombshell. But Naomi did more than that for her boyfriend—she told Judd off for being so horrible to his son. Too bad that was the one birthday gift Austin didn’t want, because he got pissed that Naomi meddled into his business.
• An escort in every city: Surprise, surprise. Raise your hand if you were surprised that Daddy Warbucks—ahem, Annie’s older rich dude Patrick—was hooking up with other ladies while out of town on “business.” Oh Annie, do you not recall how you met him? Hmm let’s see…while he was in town on “business” and he paid for you. However, the funniest part of this entire story was when Annie was casually laying by the pool and just happened to see a hotel staff person walk by with a sign for the so-called “Regional Asset Allocation Convention.”  That has to be the most fake-sounding uber-important vague convention name ever. Nonetheless, Annie knew this was the convention that Patrick was attending! So she took the opportunity to slut it up (hey, when in Vegas) and surprise her man. But first she took a moment to fawn over how gorgeous she and Naomi looked for “their men” and then tell single-gal Silver in the world’s most condescending voice: “Silver, you look really pretty.” How nice of her to throw a compliment bone over to Silver too! Her superior smile didn’t last for long when she watched Patrick make out with another woman. Annie isn’t quite ready to call it quits yet though—her rose-colored glasses may be broken but she still needs Patrick for his money.
• She works hard for the money: Actually, is Silver even getting paid for her campaign work, or is she just the world’s most naïve intern? Basically, Marissa can barely function without her teenage videographer for 2 days, so Silver spends her entire Vegas vacation “working.” She does find time to help a friend in need when she proposes an interesting idea: proposing! You see, Teddy is on a break from his uncle’s campaign trail and Silver goes out of her way to not only get Teddy and his sort-of boyfriend Shane to come to Vegas, but she also proposes that Teddy and Shane have a fake wedding in Vegas so that Teddy can experience his fairytale. I am borderline on this one—kind of a sweet idea, kind of creepy in that it is Silver’s awkward intrusion. Anyways, this entire real-yet-fake wedding—captured on camera thanks to Silver—will come back to slap “what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” in the face. Silver accidentally sends the marriage ceremony footage to Marissa, who is running against Teddy’s uncle. Not sure why this will be so terrible, given that Teddy’s uncle wants his gay nephew to score him cool points. But, I am sure we will find out!
• Addicted to Vegas: A few of our boys grappled with addictions tonight—Dixon with his drugs and Liam with his abs. Actually, it was more that this random dude was addicted to Liam’s abs and invited Liam to an invite-only high stakes poker game. Awkward much? One-billboard wunderkind Liam was all about living the high life thanks to his modeling money, and for a while I thought we were going to have to endure the cliché of Liam losing all of his money. Fortunately, he rebounded to almost break even and called it quits. Dixon, on the other hand, struggled to keep his junkie nerves under wraps and desperately clung to his buddies in an effort to stay clean despite the temptations of Sin City. Before leaving Vegas he even brushed off Ade’s concerns by saying, “It’s not like the minute I get to Vegas I’m going to turn into a drug fiend…haha [nervous laughter and beady eyes].” Ade knew better thanks to her own tumultuous past and apparently flew to Vegas, got the hotel room key, and hooked up with Dixon to calm him down. Great, way to give Dixon a sex addiction now too. Annie was none too pleased to catch Ade and her bro together in the room, with a bag of drugs. But Dixon fessed up saying that Ade was actually the only one who saved him from going further down that drug-fueled road. The verdict is still out on which girl is more annoying for being holier-than-thou: Annie’s obnoxious relationship and addiction advice despite being a paid escort, or Ade’s portrayal of ‘Adrianna the Patron Saint of Troubled Young Men.’
• Hot Purse-suit: Navid and his female cop buddy were on a hot trail to catch dear ole’ Uncle Felony in the act. On his way to Vegas, Uncle Amal gave Navid a special delivery hidden in a total man-purse to take to Vegas. Seriously, couldn’t he have put it in a backpack or something less awkward? Because Navid’s buddies certainly enjoyed giving him a hard time about the “murse,” especially when Navid looked like the weird kid at the pool who couldn’t part with his safety object. Navid lost the purse for a little while—shocker—but eventually found it and got wire-tapped before making the drop. Too bad for him that Silver walked in on the wire-tapping and the cop kissed Navid to cover their true actions. All of that great sleuthing was for nothing because this special delivery was just a test. But, the next time will be for fo’ real.

All in all, I found this Vegas episode to be highly entertaining. I think this gang has the most fun when they take crazy trips because it actually serves to bring everyone’s issues all together. Oh, except for poor Ivy, who continues to be sidelined out of grievance and support for Raj. Before I close, I just want to highlight how amusing it was that everyone kept thinking Dixon’s problem with Vegas was that he used to have a gambling addiction, but Dixon knows that problem is, like, so yesterday. Seriously, get with the times people—and get your problems straight before you go out confronting others!

Jeni is a valley girl at heart has always been an avid TV watcher and shown a passion for arts and entertainment. She enjoys offering her unique critique (and wit!) on pretty much everything in life, including her beloved shows, over at Show and Tell.