Previously on How I Met Your Mother: The Time Travelers
Lily is still working for The Captian who has decided he wants to move to Rome and he wants to take her with him. Lily refuses because she believes Marshall loves his job, but when she goes to visit his office and finds out that the firm has all but shut down Marshall offers her the chance to rethink her refusal. When The Captain offers her the position in Rome a second time, she still says no because she is scared. Marshall talks to her about it and they decide to take the plunge and do it.
Robin, Barney and Ted are all trying to see what the wedding planner’s body looks like under her big baggy coat. Ted has seen it in his pilates classes and says it nuclear. Because Robin seems so cool with it Barney is overly interested in finding out whats under the coat. Ted warns him to be careful. RObin is cool, but she will have a limit. Barney doesn’t heed his warning, so we’ll see where that ends up.
- Marshall’s Rome fantasy
- Lily’s Rome Fantasy
- Marshall’s office/job
Ted: Indiana Jones wouldn’t look at this body. This is a body that would melt a Nazi’s face.
Lily: When you said you were about to get reamed?
Marshall: Oh right that. No, sometimes for fun, we throw reams of paper at each other. Bernard! Not a good time! Read the room!
The Bro Mitzvah
This is it. The moment Barney has been waiting for. His Bro Mitzvah (bachelor party)! He’s already given Ted and Marshall a list because he believes the two will not be able to pull it off. Ted and Marshall start by kidnapping Barney, a good start, though this means Barney will skip out on dinner with RObin and his mother. They head to a hotel right outside of AC, have a few beers, hire a clown, bring the wrong karate kid, hire Quinn (ex-fiancee) as stripper, Barney gambled so he loses money for caterer and bets Marshall who he loses to the mafia and Robin dumps him for losing the money, marshall and abandoning her at a disastrous dinner with his mom.
Turns out it was all a hoax, but it was also everything Barney wanted, just in the most effed up ways possible. The last surprise of the evening, the clown was the real karate kid (according to Barney)
Seriously though Robin is a pretty epic fiancee.
- Barney’s kidnapping
- Quinn being the stripper
- Marshall getting his hand cut off
- Barney’s mom thinking Robin was a virgin
Loretta Stinson: You are so funny. What’s gotten into you? Oh that’s right, nothing, ever.
Barney Stinson: Shut it Ralph Maccio! Why don’t you go have a party with Luke Skywalker and Harry Potter and War Horse and all the other movie bad guys and stop ruining mine!
Robin: I’m not a virgin! My napkin ring has seen plenty of breadsticks and one baguette. I dated a center from the Knicks.
Previously on How I Met Your Mother: The Ashtray
So there was this playbook, which Barney burned to prove his love to Patrice, but actually Robin. And Robin has told him that was the moment she knew she could marry him because he’d given up his old life. Well, turns out, the playbook is very much in tact.
Lily is trying to nab the work of an up-and-coming hot new artist, which means she needs to schmooze. Marshall pledges to support her by attending the opening. Try as he might, Marshall has difficulty talking to the other guests. And try as she might, Lily has a hard time getting a chance to talk to the artist. But, it turns out. The artist is the one person in the room who can be charmed by Marshall’s interests and jokes.
Ted has broken up with Jeanette, but he’s having a rough time staying away from the crazy and the crazy good sex. Barney decides to help him out with use of the playbook, secret mission style. Unfortunately, the advances don’t work and Barney gets caught by Robin. Leaving Ted unmonitored for long enough to get back together with Jeanette, who throws a crazy tantrum and burns the playbook and throws Ted’s stuff out the window. This time they’re definitely over.
Robin and Barney reconcile because they are crazy in love with each other and perfect together. And when Jeanette burns the playbook, Barney could care less.
- All the plays Barney runs through Ted
- Marshall dropping the skittles
- The Weekend at Barney dreams and Robin’s confusion over the play
Barney: My other one rule.
Ted: Lebanese girls sprint to third base and then stay there.
Previously on How I Met Your Mother: Bad Crazy
One trip to an art gallery prompts three different stories: Robin’s, Ted’s, and Lily’s or the truth.
When The Captain calls, the storytelling begins. Apparently a while back Ted, Robin and Lily ran into The Captain at an art show. According to Ted, he was rude and threatened him, and was actually in love with the girl that Ted was dating at the time. Leading Ted to believe that he stole another girl from The Captain and that the phone call was about the girl.
Turns out, he wanted Robin’s number, which leads to Robin’s story. Robin reveals that Ted had actually been “eating a sandwich” right before the art show so he was not really the most trustworthy source for the happenings of the night. Robin claims that The Captain was hitting on her all night and that he probably wants to get with her. Robin calls him back to let him down easy but it turns out he was actually looking for Lily.
Lily then tells her version of the story, which is more than likely the truth. She claims that Ted was high and Robin was drunk and they went back to The Captain’s place so he could show Lily a piece of artwork. Lily had expressed interest in the pieces at the gallery while the Captain and his art consultant thought they were amateurish. After insulting her taste in art and belittling her as just a kindergarten teacher, Lily stole an ashtray from The Captain’s house. She assumes he’s calling about the ashtray but he actually wants her to be his new art consultant. Lily finds out that her dreams might still come true.
Robin and Ted under the influence at the art opening
The return of Boats! Boats! Boats!
Barney trying to insert himself in all the stories
Robin: He’s looking for Lily. Should I give him her number?
Marshall: Yeah we’ve already discussed it. It’s four million dollars cash.
Ted: Oh boy that was a crazy story.
Barney: Oh boy, yeah I remember.
Ted: You weren’t there.
Barney: Ted, bubala, if you have a crazy story, I was there. It’s just the law of the universe.
Ted: That’s weird, I have a message.
Marshall: That’s weird, you still have an answering machine.