how i met your mother recapping: romewardbound/the bro mitzvah

Previously on How I Met Your Mother: The Time Travelers

Romeward Bound

Know somewhere I can bury this sausage?

Lily is still working for The Captian who has decided he wants to move to Rome and he wants to take her with him. Lily refuses because she believes Marshall loves his job, but when she goes to visit his office and finds out that the firm has all but shut down Marshall offers her the chance to rethink her refusal. When The Captain offers her the position in Rome a second time, she still says no because she is scared. Marshall talks to her about it and they decide to take the plunge and do it.

Robin, Barney and Ted are all trying to see what the wedding planner’s body looks like under her big baggy coat. Ted has seen it in his pilates classes and says it nuclear. Because Robin seems so cool with it Barney is overly interested in finding out whats under the coat. Ted warns him to be careful. RObin is cool, but she will have a limit. Barney doesn’t heed his warning, so we’ll see where that ends up.

Best/Funniest Moment

• Marshall’s Rome fantasy
• Lily’s Rome Fantasy
• Marshall’s office/job

Quotes
Ted: Indiana Jones wouldn’t look at this body. This is a body that would melt a Nazi’s face.

Lily: When you said you were about to get reamed?
Marshall: Oh right that. No, sometimes for fun, we throw reams of paper at each other. Bernard! Not a good time! Read the room!

The Bro Mitzvah

This is legen, don’t bother waiting for it because it sucks, dary.

This is it. The moment Barney has been waiting for. His Bro Mitzvah (bachelor party)! He’s already given Ted and Marshall a list because he believes the two will not be able to pull it off. Ted and Marshall start by kidnapping Barney, a good start, though this means Barney will skip out on dinner with RObin and his mother. They head to a hotel right outside of AC, have a few beers, hire a clown, bring the wrong karate kid, hire Quinn (ex-fiancee) as stripper, Barney gambled so he loses money for caterer and bets Marshall who he loses to the mafia and Robin dumps him for losing the money, marshall and abandoning her at a disastrous dinner with his mom.

Turns out it was all a hoax, but it was also everything Barney wanted, just in the most effed up ways possible. The last surprise of the evening, the clown was the real karate kid (according to Barney)

Seriously though Robin is a pretty epic fiancee.

Best/Funniest Moments

• Barney’s kidnapping
• Quinn being the stripper
• Marshall getting his hand cut off
• Barney’s mom thinking Robin was a virgin

Quotes
Loretta Stinson: You are so funny. What’s gotten into you? Oh that’s right, nothing, ever.

Barney Stinson: Shut it Ralph Maccio! Why don’t you go have a party with Luke Skywalker and Harry Potter and War Horse and all the other movie bad guys and stop ruining mine!

Robin: I’m not a virgin! My napkin ring has seen plenty of breadsticks and one baguette. I dated a center from the Knicks.