90210 recapping: greek tragedy

Grab your ADHD pills, kids, because it is going to be a late night of Greek Mixers, paid escorts, stolen cars and Alaskan adventures. All of our story lines from last week—plus Ivy this time—moved as quickly as Dixon’s impending rage storm. Let’s jump right in to the “Greece Mix”…

• Sisterhood of the Traveling Toga: Naomi is still out for revenge against Holly and the Kappas for being bi-otches, and apparently for issuing the lamest “insults” possible: “Guess we’ll see you at the Greek Mixer tomorrow…oh never mind, that is just for Greeks!” Wow Holly, hope you didn’t hurt too many brain cells thinking of that zinger. Naomi’s original plan was to have initiated sister Annie infiltrate, but it seems Annie will be a bit too preoccupied with other matters soon (more on that later). Even better is Naomi’s new plan, which I highly enjoyed. It may have been a rip-off of The House Bunny, but I really liked Naomi joining a “frumpy” unpopular sorority just to gain access to the Greek system and giving them her sage advice to be cool. Her nuggets of beauty wisdom were hysterical and sharp—“Hang it in another gallery” (regarding one girl’s tattoos being called art) and “It’s better to look good than to feel good.” When Naomi dresses the girls up in extravagant togas for the Greek Mixer and then learns she was duped into thinking this was a costume party (apparently now we are using Legally Blonde’s story line) she still comes through big time for the girls by making a grand entrance. The girls may be pissed that Naomi was using them, but they end up having a great night. And now they all have a great enemy: Holly. Yes, Naomi has truly bonded with her new sisters, and this is shaping up to be a fun plot development. Plus, I hope these girls stick around for a while!
• Paying her dues: Annie must pay her dues figuratively and literally in this episode. Since she is still cash-strapped (I guess the Marla money situation is in limbo off-screen) Annie must find a way to pay her new sorority dues and get over Liam, all at like the same time…omg. OK, first of all, since Naomi is the one who wanted Annie to stay in the sorority in the first place, why on earth wouldn’t Naomi simply give Annie the money she needs? But, then again, we wouldn’t be treated to this ah-maz-ing development of Annie not knowing she is on a paid escort date with sorority sister Brie. Annie even kisses the guy (to make Liam jealous) but that only earns her some more bucks! Yes, Annie has found her new calling…literally as a call girl. And looks like she is headed down a dark path given how upset she is over Liam ending things. Really Annie? Really? You seemed plenty over him last episode when you were all about cute coffee boy who later turned out to be Marla’s family. But that was before…
• Liam’s Offshore drilling project: I am pretty sure I saw a sign on the bar Liam bought that said “Offshore – coming soon!” So, I guess we can assume Liam has re-named Salty’s and that we now have the official Peach Pit After Dark 2.0 live music/club scene for these crazy college kids of the new era. The “drilling” refers to Liam banging his Alaskan girlfriend Jane. What is up with this girl? And what is up with Ade wearing a huge winter parka indoors while everyone else rocks tank tops? Jane and Liam already bore me to tears and, once again, I find myself completely un-invested in a Liam relationship because this show is clearly against taking the time to establish them. Instead I have to simply listen to Liam and Jane explain to us in choppy dialog that her husband is dead, Liam feels guilty, and now she is pregnant from her dead husband. And she is only 20 years old. And Liam—who proposed to Annie a mere two weeks ago—is fully ready to commit to Jane. Whatever. We all know your sole purpose on this show now is to simply run your bar where underage students can drink and drama can go down.
• The Juice is Loose: Dixon has been feeling “crazy focused” on his music lately. Soon, he will just be crazy thanks to abusing prescription meds. His career suffers a major setback, though, when DJ Juice doesn’t show up to hear Dixon play at Liam’s grand opening party (and I am only assuming you spell this guy’s name like the kind of juice you drink). The reason why the Juice doesn’t show? He is pissed that Navid cancelled his recording session at Shirazi Porn Studios. And why did Navid cancel? Well, Navid wanted to cater to Bieber’s people instead and make a lot of money to pay back his sketchy uncle so that he won’t have to owe him anything. Did anyone else laugh when the uncle told Navid that he is now a “family man” and has to support his family? Again, I do not understand why we have Navid and Silver acting like a 45-year old married couple with a teenage daughter. And, I still don’t get why the only two West Bev Over-Achiever Awards students (Navid and Silver) did not enroll at CU. Navid is learning what it means to be a family man in the Shirazi family, though, because he must keep his uncle’s auto theft ring a secret or risk facing his own jail time. Wah wah!
• Life or death drama: Ivy was in tonight’s episode.  She mainly pops up to get really pissed at her friends or random party strangers when they moan about life’s cruelties. Obviously Ivy and Raj have real life or death problems on their hands. I never thought I would say this, but I think we actually need more Ivy to add a dose of reality to this show.

What did you think of tonight’s Greek Tragedy? Who else is excited for the continuation of Naomi’s “Big Fat Greek Sorority”? And, I think it is safe to say that Annie and Dixon’s forthcoming downward spirals are the reason why the original show kept Jim and Cindy Walsh on through sophomore year of college.

Jeni is a valley girl at heart has always been an avid TV watcher and shown a passion for arts and entertainment. She enjoys offering her unique critique (and wit!) on pretty much everything in life, including her beloved shows, over at Show and Tell.