Here’s what you missed on Glee: Saturday Night Glee-ver
- Members of The New Directions are performing their favorite Whitney Houston songs.
- “Jesus” Joe is starting to develop feelings for Quinn while helping her with physical therapy.
- Kurt exchanges in a flirtatious text-lationship with a boy, Chandler, he meets at a music store.
- Shuester is trying to rush his wedding to Emma so the kids from the glee club will attend.
I Have the Weirdest Boner Right Now: Well at least that’s what Joe was thinking. Even though Quinn has pretty much…uh… run through(?) every other male member of the glee club I like the relationship she and Joe are headed for. It has come on relatively fast but who knows how much we’ll see of Quinn in the future so now is as good a time as any. Hopefully Quinn isn’t just using Joe to help her feel better about herself.
Kurt’s Dental Record: I’ve been saying it since the first season and I know someone out there has to have noticed it too: Where does Kurt hide his teeth when he sings?! He has a huge mouth and I seldom see his teeth during a performance. It’s just unnatural…
Gotcha, Jesus (Joe)! Sam went all Old Testament on Joe with that sweet Leviticus burn. Let he who is without tats cast the first stone.
When the Cat’s Away… I really didn’t think that much about it beforehand but Blaine really is going to be alone without Kurt next year. I appreciate their relationship but I do want Blaine to get in some trouble when good ol’ “Gums” is gone.
Ummmm…Where the hell are Sugar Motta and Rory?!
Special Treatment: I bet Shuester isn’t going to drastically change any other milestone in his personal life for any other group of glee members. This man was about to get married at a campground while using picnic tables as a stage. Now I’m sure someone out there may find that romantic in some way – because eccentric is the new black these days – but that’s just not gonna fly.
How Will I Know – Mercedes, Santana, Kurt and Rachel (A)
The photo of Whitney Houston was a somber, but perfect opening to this song and episode. I didn’t time it, but I believe I began crying about 15 seconds into this performance. Normally, I’d prefer the original pop version, but somehow as a tribute, the quartet pulled it off.
Dance with Somebody – Brittany and Santana (B)
Perfect pick for Brittany: a song that’s all about dancing and doesn’t require a lot of strong vocals. All the glitter and dancing Cheerios brought a more Glee-ful feel to the evening than the opening number. It was a cute performance, but not at all memorable. One minor gripe: Britana’s outfit, while an adorable homage to Houston, was from her How Will I Know video.
Saving All My Love for You - Joe and Quinn (A)
Joe Hart would be all I need to get excited about Glee’s fourth season. I’m not sure if it’s his doe eyes or that I got over my crush for Puck a little over a season ago, but something about him is just perfect. I’m going to pretend they didn’t completely rush the Joe/Quinn storyline and sexify Quinn’s therapy session for the simple purpose of giving this budding relationship motive and opportunity to flourish in the span of three minutes. Instead, I’ll simply love how good these two sounded and thank all the writers for letting Quinn finish strong, both as a performer and character. Unfortunately, this puts a damper on my theory that they were pushing Artie and Quinn together.
So Emotional – Santana and Rachel (C)
This was easily my least favorite performance of the evening. It may have been the song selection or something unrelated, like the fact that New Directions recently figured out how to record video on their phones (last week it was Sam, now Brittany and Finn have joined in the fun). However, I did like the nod to fashion choices of seasons past, with Rachel in her Mary Janes and tall socks, while Santana spun around in her Cheerio’s uniform.
It’s Not Right, But It’s Okay – Blaine (B)
Unlike the other performances, this was an obvious (and accurate) redo of the video. While Whitney had a group of scorned women singing her back-up, Blaine had the New Directions (et tu Finn?!) supporting his very public lover’s quarrel with
Gay Hutch Kurt. As far as breakup anthems go, I’d have preferred Heartbreak Hotel.
I Have Nothing - Kurt (A)
This is easily one of my favorite songs on The Bodyguard soundtrack. It worked perfect as a “rebuttal” to Blaine’s song pick and Kurt had his best performance of the season, in my very humble opinion. Just like Blaine, I teared up a little at the end.
My Love is Your Love – The New Directions (A)
Another (perfectly) cheesy Glee closer, with the big group hurrah. I think this is when it really hit me that this season is the last of the original era of Glee. Some of the main characters are leaving and the dynamic will have to change quite a bit to make room for new faces. In a weird way, it’s picking songs like My Love is Your Love that make people that don’t watch the show feel it’s annoyingly corny, while it’s performances like this that remind Gleeks why they fell in love with the show in the first place. Bonus moment: The picture of the club from season one, complete with the last time we’ll probably ever see Matt Rutherford.
“Excuse me, I’m so sorry to bother you, but that hippopotamus head broach is awesome.” – Chandler
“Obviously I like dancing with Santana best, but you guys are all still cool dancers. And Quinn, you’re still dancing in my dreams and you can fly and breathe fire.” – Brittany
“Mr. Lavender, the wedding planner.” -Schuester
“It’s La-Vender. Richard La-Vander. It’s a family name.” –
Don Embry Mr. Lavender (played by Joel McKinnon Miller, Big Love)
“OK, here’s the thing about me, I-I can be super helpful, but when you ask me stuff you have to be real specific.” – Sam
“I have OCD, Will. I throw brooms away after I use them.” -Ema
“Do you know how many times you’ve texted me in the past few days? Four. And three of them were about finding peach colored shoe polishes.” – Blaine
“I know I haven’t always been the perfect friend or teammate, but you stuck by me. Forgiven me, for sleeping with your women. Not everyone in my life has done that. One cougar’s husband even chased me around with a gun.” – Puck
“Champagne on a Tuesday. You’ve gone all Hunter S. Thompson.” – Emmy
Previously on Glee: The Spanish Teacher
After everyone’s favorite Mob Princess (didn’t hear that from me), Sugar Motta, gives the New Directions a hefty donation to cover the cost for Regionals the fun begins! Artie and Rory compete over who gets to take Sugar to her Valentine’s Day party. Rachel and Finn tell everyone about their marriage plans, including Rachel’s dads! The “God Squad” welcomes a new member and student.
Foreign Exchange Policy: Initially – for like three seconds – I thought Rory was genuine about being sent back toIreland after the school year was over then I remembered I’m not the one with a four-leaf clover in my pocket. Worse things have been done in the attempt to get “the girl”. Of course we don’t know how Sugar will react when she finds out the truth but that may just get lost in the summer like Sam and Mercedes’ relationship.
Poor Artie: Artie has always been my favorite member of the New Directions and it pains me to see him so lonely. Each of his former girlfriends are in happy relationships…and he has to sit four feet away from their respective PDA everyday. Now that Sugar is smitten with Rory who knows if he’ll get another chance at teenage love. Also, how did he rig that mechanisms OVER Sugar’s locker?! But lastly, Team Artie misses you Brittany S. Pierce…
“Straight to the Teenage Lovemaking” Never have I seen a couple so excited to crash into a brick wall like Rachel and Finn. Yes, they are the beautiful high school love story. Yes, they are complete opposites – which makes it all that much more endearing. Yes, Jeff Goldblum and Mike O’Malley are your fathers. But I just feel they are destined for destruction when they leave Lima. Daddy Goldblum’s words to live by: “Honesty. Respect. Dance.”
“Jesus” Joe: Now that three of the four winners of The Glee Project have made their debuts I have to say I am impressed with the overall performances. Of course the sample size for Joe (Samuel Larsen) is still small but I can see him being a main character in seasons to come. McKinley has the most intermittent religious/celibacy groups in high school history but I’m sure his talents will be less sideshow by the time Nationals rolls around.
Morals Matter: After all the back and forth with Sam, Mercedes, and Shane it seems that we have a conclusion. I was hoping that we got a glimpse of “Samcedes” but, I figure, if it hasn’t happened by now then it never will. On another note, I didn’t watch the Grammy’s or see any tribute to Whitney Houston for that matter but I’m sure Mercedes’ rendition of “I Will Always Love You” was among the best.
In the loving spirit of Valentine’s Day, all the performances automatically started off with an ‘A’. Before we jump into the musical offerings of Heart, I have to mention how great it was to see Aaron Hill (Beaver, Greek) as the guy Nick at the end of the episode and finally meeting Rachel’s dads, which was like My Two Dads except way better.
L-O-V-E – Mike and Tina (A)
The first thing that came to mind watching Mike and Tina was that these two don’t get nearly enough screen time singing and dancing together. And they may not be the strongest singers in the club, but they’ve both come a long way from last season. This was a very adorable performance, especially as a soundtrack for the love war Artie and Rory waged against each other in the hopes of wooing Sugar. Perfect opening song.
Let Me Love You – Artie (A)
When it comes to the guys, Artie has the best voice for any R&B songs. They made the beat a little more up-tempo than the original and lyrically Artie’s love song pick was a bit slanderous to the sweet Rory, but it still got him the girl. Toss in Sam, Puck, Kurt and Mike for added effect and you have a good idea of what this song would’ve sounded like if Mario was in a boy band.
Stereo Hearts – The God Squad (Joe, Sam and Mercedes) (A+)
First things first,
Teen Jesus Joe is hot and as much as I love a New Directions alternative, I really can’t wait to see him perform with the glee club. When Glee covered Billionaire, Artie handled the Travie Mccoy part of the song, this time around Sam took on the duty…and I LOVED IT. The God Squad, specifically Mercedes, sounded great, but it was the choir that really made this performance particularly amazing. It was so good in fact that I won’t ask why so many students were eating outside in the middle of the winter.
Home – Rory (A)
Similar to Michael Buble, Damian McGinty has a magical voice. So when Rory sang this song under the pretense that he was being sent back to Ireland and added a few tears, it was a given that Sugar was going to change her mind. Artie’s intense side-eye meant that he figured this out almost immediately, but it didn’t change anything. When Rory let out the last note of his performance, he had the girl and her sympathy. Bonus points for being so cunning.
I Will Always Love You – Mercedes (A+)
Between Dolly Parton’s beautiful lyrics and Whitney Houston’s extraordinary voice, the bar for anyone who even touches this song was set decades ago, but we all knew that Amber Riley would do it justice. I won’t even pretend that I didn’t cry the entire time. It was a reminder of Houston’s death, but also how incredibly talented she was. When I watched it again, I focused on it as just another Glee performance and Sam’s heartbroken look was bad enough, but when he cried and left the room…I lost it again. Although this wasn’t a great moment for them as a couple, it made me want to see more of them as actors, Chord Overstreet in particular. I’m glad Mercedes got over that “everyone only pays attention to Rachel, so I’m going to huff around like a brat” phase, she’s much more enjoyable this way.
Cherish/Cherish – Quinn (and the God Squad) (A)
Madonna and The Association were both well represented in this mini mash-up. I know it’s nearing the end of her run, but I’m finally starting to appreciate Dianna Agron’s voice. This was another really sweet performance and we finally got the Brittana kiss. Kudos to the writers for not making this scene unnecessarily religious or political. “Love is love” and romantic moments are romantic.
Love Shack – Blaine (and the New Directions/God Squad) (A+)
In fairness, I have to note that I’m one of those people that will gladly spend my “jukebox money” to hear this played, which accounts for part of the high grade. The other part? Blaine is back (with a heart-shaped eye patch)!! Sure, he wasn’t gone that long, but it felt like forever. Who cares that this song isn’t even remotely romantic, it was an awesome performance! I’m sure the writers that decided to make a connection with Sugar Shack and Love Shack were quite pleased with themselves. Kurt doing Cindy Wilson’s “Tin roof, rusted” at the end was the best. Great episode closer.