90210 recapping: let the games begin

It was a slow start to the games this week, as I was a tad bored for the first part of this episode. But the action and absurdity picked up the pace in the later half. Grab an orange and some super-slippery sunscreen and let’s dive in to “Let the Games Begin!”

  • Naomi is ReuNERDed! …and it feels so confusing! Naomi was still hell-bent on enacting revenge upon Holly and her pink velour-wearing Kappa army. Her own rag-tag sorority—who continue to be the best girls on this show—unfortunately don’t stand much of a chance of winning the Greek games against a bunch of bratty girls who jog in matching outfits. Oh, unless the games consist of things that are entirely non-athletic, like pie-eating, balloon popping, or a relay race that only involves passing an orange and giving a piggy-back ride for two feet. Seriously, why was ANYONE training for this? Well, to be fair, Naomi didn’t train as much as she strategized. She thought that Austin held the secret to beating the Kappas, since one time his frat beat them…granted, he admitted his frat just stopped smoking weed for that week. But Austin convinced Naomi he could find Holly’s weakness, and he did in fact know a weakness. But little did Naomi know that Austin seducing her and them getting it on in the kitchen was only fuel to make Holly jealous, since apparently they used to date. This was news to Naomi, who now also felt betrayed because she was starting to have real feelings for the cowboy. Follow all that? Because it is about to get more confusing! At the games, Holly unleashed her final weapon upon Naomi by surprising her with an appearance by everyone’s favorite nerd: Max! Naomi was shocked, but the two quickly reconciled and all was right with the world…for two seconds until Naomi was again turned on by Austin. Max sees the good in Naomi; Austin sees the bad in her…which side of Naomi will ultimately prevail? My money is on the bad!
  • 2 Broke Siblings: So, so, so many things are ridiculous about the pathways Annie and Dixon are heading down. Honestly, not much new stuff to report on for the siblings—Annie still needs money for school and Dixon still needs money [and talent] to make it in the music biz. And the two are still making poor choices on how to do that—Annie is now gung-ho ready to be a paid escort and Dixon is hooked on ADHD pills for the “intense focus” it gives him to make crappy music. But let’s talk for a moment about their heart-to-heart convo held at Dixon’s insanely expensive beach pad about just how broke they are and how they can’t very well call their parents who are having their own money problems—I guess money problems so severe that Debbie just has to live in Paris with her ex-teacher boyfriend who also has a child to support. Do the writers actually read what they write? Does it make sense to them in the writers’ room? Or do they purposely craft their scripts to help me write my blog posts every week? OK, rant over for now. All that really happened was that Annie got booted from her sorority, which was no biggie because she still has her new friend and that girl’s escort service. And Dixon first hit up the stoner frat (ha! wrong choice buddy!) and then appropriately the math team to score more of his “homework helpers” (or in Dixon’s case let’s call them the “music machine” pills). By the end of the episode I thought he was about to start singing “I’m so excited…I’m so, so scared!”
  • Surfs Up! Shirts Off! I can’t stand what they have done to Navid and Silver this season. They took the two most ambitious characters (at least in terms of academic drive) and neither actually ended up in college (I still don’t know why—did the show ever explain that?). Instead they just hang around all day “running” Shirazi Studios and living in nonexistent Kelly’s guest house with Navid’s now nonexistent sister, whom he worked so hard to protect. This show suffers from an invasion of the body snatchers. Anyway, because Navid now has dirty auto theft money on his hands and Silver has literally nothing to do, he funds a project for her and Liam. Yes, Silver attempts to direct Liam in a commercial for his bar. Clearly she is an idiot because she should have known to just take his shirt off at the get-go rather than have him try to act. Liam’s abs are a success and apparently that is all it took to get peeps to his bar—that or the fact that here is a bar on the beach where underage kids are serving alcohol to other underage kids.
  • See Jane Run. I am going to make this one quick since all I really want to say is, “we should care because…?” Ade is hit on by a creepy yet cute dude on the beach during an incredibly awkward meeting. She later sees him spying on her at the bar. Liam gets all super protective of her because lately he is not feeling like much of a macho man in providing for Jane. Turns out creepy-cute stalker guy is Jim—Jane’s supposedly dead husband. And I still don’t care about this storyline at all. Why should we be invested in this love triangle when we never even saw it established?
  • Ivy was there, again. Poor Ivy—not only is her husband Raj stricken with cancer, but she has barely had a line of dialog this entire season. Tonight she finally had an inkling of what could become an actual story arc! She and Raj argued about his health and wondered if there was hope for him to get better. But, she also met a photographer on the beach who seems interested in her. I am going to refer to him as Navid-Lite because they kind of look like each other, but we’ll see how this plays out.

What do you think of this season of 90210 so far? Should Naomi pick the nerd or the cowboy? And can Navid give some of his extra money to me for writing this blog?

Jeni is a valley girl at heart has always been an avid TV watcher and shown a passion for arts and entertainment. She enjoys offering her unique critique (and wit!) on pretty much everything in life, including her beloved shows, over at Show and Tell.

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