Remember that guy who didn’t get ice cream cake last week? Well he’s back this week, and he’s running for reelection. Though frankly, I don’t think I’d want someone who spits out perfectly good birthday cake running for my town council. But since he pissed Claire off last week when he didn’t give her the stop sign she wanted, he proves to be a good antagonist. Claire decides to run against him. Though she’s worried about who will take care of the kids, Phil valiantly steps in. Haley, meanwhile, is hitting up her siblings for $900. Alex wants to help her out, but doesn’t have the money. Luke has the money, but its all in frozen assets, which, in his mind, means its concealed in an ice cube in the freezer.
Claire goes to register for the race for town council, but gets psyched out when she runs into her opponent. Phil during his first day on the job as official caretaker for the kids, punches Luke and drugs Alex, while Claire finds out about Haley’s money issue. When Claire gets to her dad’s house, Phil is trying to hold Alex upright and Luke is telling a story about how he ran into the stairs. Claire sees right through it of course, not that Phil needed much pressure to spills the beans anyway. Haley confesses about taking money from her friends to get them all fake ids, but it was a scam and now she has to get her friends’ money back.
Mitchell and Cam are at the movies, apparently seeing something gruesome and violent, when a father walks in with his two young kids. Cam is outraged and confronts the father. He won’t let it go, despite Mitchell’s plea. Eventually, they get kicked out of the theater which was going to be showing the muppet movie, not a scary movie that was unsuitable for children. On their way home they get rear ended, can’t help but appreciate the irony in their surprise. The man in the other car goes to get his insurance information and high tails it out of there. Cam wants to chase him like a man, but Mitchell refuses, so instead he settles for running after him like a girl.
Jay is trying to sell a closet design to a young punk kid who wants to be wowed. Gloria wants to help but he cuts her off, not wanting to bother her with his problems, especially since she’s making dinner for the whole family. Manny, who is trying to do a school project on the Mafia, also refuses Gloria’s help. She’s not too happy about being left out.
When the family gets to Jay and Gloria’s house for dinner, the men are all seething from their respective problems. They decide to go after the guy who scammed Haley together. Leaving the women behind gives Gloria the chance she’s been looking for. She gets to help Claire with her decision to run for town council. Claire decides to run, despite her fear of losing. And, with all four of them working together, the men are able to take down the guy who scammed Haley and get her money back.
They arrive home triumphant, giving Haley her money as she tries to wiggle out of being punished by claiming remorse. Phil sees right through it and punishes her anyway. Claire knows that Phil can handle the kids without her. Mitchell realizes that occasionally taking action is the right route, and people shouldn’t always just remain inactive. Claire urges Jay to let Gloria help him, because she’s a huge asset. Jay sees Claire’s point and he has Gloria present the closet idea to his young punk client, wowing him with her huge assets in full view.
Best Quotes of the Night:
Gloria: “Really Manny, you want me to learn you English?”
Gloria: “I have all the answers!”
Phil: “If you wanna fly I’m not gonna hold your feet to the ground, I’m gonna be the one to push you off the cliff.”
Phil: “I admit it, I’m turned on by powerful women, Michelle Obama, Condoleezza Rice, Serena Williams…wait a minute.”
Luke: “It’s in a block of ice. I got the idea when I heard a bunch of rich guys talking about their frozen assets. Haha assets.”
Cam: “He wasn’t armed he had a Hilary sticker”
Cam: (on his way to the car)“Shotgun!”
Mitchell: “No, no weapons!”
Mitchell: “Fine,I’ll see you in jail. It will be a big adjustment for two of you.”