glee recapping: the first time

Artie has come to the realization that being a director is his true calling. As he, Coach Beiste, and Ms. Pillsbury are listening to Blaine and Rachel rehearse he realizes that they lack the sexuality needed to make the the experience more believable. He asks the two to remember what it was like the first time they had sex and apply it to their performances. One problem: They’re both virgins. Artie questions their ability to perform well due to their lack of experience.

Finn tells Rachel that he is going to have the house to himself during the week and invites her over. She says she’ll “be there at six”.

Kurt asks Blaine if he thinks he is “too boring sexually”. Blaine says he wants to wait until Kurt is “comfortable” so he can be comfortable as well.

Artie asks Coach Beiste if she has ever had sex – possibly inappropriate, but Artie is awesome so I’ll look over it. She says she hasn’t found the right guy but she has a crush on Cooter Mankins, the football recruiter from Ohio State University.

Blaine visits Dalton Academy and joins the Warblers for a performance of “Uptown Girl”. Afterwards, a new Warbler, Sebastian Smithe (Grant Gustin) introduces himself to Blaine. Sebastian says he’s heard so much about Blaine. He thought Blaine was “sex on a stick and sings like a dream”. He asks why he left Dalton and Blaine says that “McKinley is where his heart is”. Sebastian is clearly attracted to Blaine and asks that they meet up again so he can get “more insights” from Blaine.

In the locker room, Finn asks Puck about what condom he should use with Rachel. Puck says he never used them and that technique has worked for him “99% of the time” – Oh, Beth.

Blaine asks Kurt if they are too sheltered and if they should be more adventurous. Kurt tells Blaine about a bucket list he made and Blaine thinks it’s “hot”. Blaine asks Kurt if now is the time “to be adventurous, while we’re still young”.

Artie tells Cooter that he should ask Coach Beiste out because she likes him. He says he has done so and she rejects him. Artie tells him to ask her again and “make it really obvious” and he has an idea for their date.

Blaine meets Sebastian at the coffee shop. Sebastian is trying to see if Blaine is willing to cheat on Kurt. Blaine holds firm and Kurt happens show up during the conversation. Sebastian then invites the couple to a gay club. Blaine dismisses it but Kurt insists they go.

Rachel and Finn are having a romantic dinner when Rachel asks that they go “snuggle by the fire”. They begin to make out but Finn keeps stopping to make sure that Rachel is sure she wants to have sex. He even says that he was saving up for something special “a fancy hotel like Marriott” – romantic as hell! Rachel says she needs to do it before opening night because it is going to help her performance. This upsets Finn and he leaves.

Mike’s father approaches him while he is at school. He is upset that Mike is performing in the school musical. Mike says that he doesn’t want to be a doctor and he “will be a professional dancer”. His father says if he continues to waste his life on a child’s fantasy “you will no longer be my son”. And Mike replies ” Well, I guess I don’t have a dad anymore”.

Cooter asks Beiste out on a date. She is mad because she thinks he could get any woman he wants and she “doesn’t look the way pretty girls look”. He says that’s good because he doesn’t date girls he dates women.

Rachel holds another girls meeting about sexual advice. Quinn tells her to wait. Santana agrees, but because Finn is “terrible in bed”. Tina says losing her virginity was special because it was with somebody she loved. She said it was right and not rushed. Rachel is clearly touched by Tina’s admission.

Kurt and Blaine arrive at the gay bar, Scandals, with fake ID’s. They get in. It’s DRAG QUEEN WEDNESDAY!!! Cher, Tina Turner and Ginger from Gilligan’s Island are in attendance. They meet Sebastian at the bar. He orders Blaine a beer and Kurt a Shirley Temple. Sebastian and Blaine are dancing while Kurt is still at the bar. Karovsky shows up and sits with Kurt. He tells him that he is slowly accepting himself for what he is. Kurt then cuts in on Sebastian and Blaine with his signature shoulder shimmy. As Kurt and a drunk Blaine are leaving Blaine tries to get Kurt to have sex with him in the backseat of the car but Kurt is completely against it. Blaine doesn’t get why Kurt is mad at him for trying to be “spontaneous and fun” then he decides to walk home.

Rachel and Blaine are backstage telling each other that they are disappointed in themselves for not having sex before the performance. Artie interrupts them and let’s them know the show is about to start. Artie has a mini-breakdown, thinking that he has done everything wrong. But the group tell him that he did an awesome job and they trusted him the entire time. Artie gives them an inspirational speech and he gets emotional.

Blaine is practicing a move his messed up on after the show when Kurt shows up. Kurt comments about Sebastian loving Blaine’s perfromace. Blaine tells him “Sebastian doesn’t mean anything to me”. He apologized for his actions th other night. They share a kiss and seems to be forgiven. Blaine tells Kurt about Artie’s after party at Breadsticks but Kurt tells Blaine he wants to go to his house.

Rachel shows up at Finn’s house looking like a fairy tale. Finn tells her he wasn’t scouted by Cooter. He feels like he is going be stuck in Lima. Rachel tells Finn that he just has to have new dreams because he has outgrown his old ones. Rachel apologizes for her approach towards their last almost sexual encounter.

The episode ends with some Eskimo kisses, smiles, held hands, and hair rubs being shared between Blaine & Kurt and Rachel & Finn.

Tonight – Blaine and Rachel: Solid C rating…I’m supposed to believe that these two over achievers aren’t off-book yet?

Uptown Girl – The Warblers: Solid B rating…I missed the all-boy musical synchronicity this group provided…unfortunately when they aren’t led by Blaine I don’t get the same tingles (although Sebastian was magical).

A Boy Like That – Santana and Rachel: Solid C rating….maybe it was because they chopped it up, but mostly I found this performance only ‘bleh’ because Santana and Rachel have zero chemistry together.

America – Santana, Puck and cast: “Solid” B/C rating….something about this performance wasn’t enough (perhaps this was because the musical seemed completely thrown together), which hurts, because Santana at her finest is usually all I need.

One hand, one heart – Blaine and Rachel: Solid B rating…cool soundtrack for the sexual cliffhanger and better than their other (mini) performance, which was why it earned a B, instead of the original C I’d planned to give it.

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