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Previously on 30 Rock: Kidnapped by Danger

It’s tax season again, which means another year has gone by. While chatting with her accountant, Liz has a sudden revelation that nothing in her life ever changes. Last year she started to keep a journal, so in an effort to break the cycle she returns to her journal and is ready for everything that will happen. She interrupts and subdues Jenna before she starts freaking out. Last year Tracy forgot to do his taxes and on April 14 he started freaking out. So Liz reminded him to do his taxes, which lead to him having to go to Alaska for a side project. Her efforts to break the cycle are futile. Tracy still ends up in some crazy scheme to pay his taxes. Jenna still freaks out because someone is trying to sabotage her. But in the end Liz has one moment that has never happened before, when Jack admits that he needs her around.

Jenna, who isn’t freaking out at Liz, is worried about the curse of Macbeth. Any scene, skit, or theater production of Macbeth is apparently cursed so Jenna refuses to do it. Liz has Cerie do it, but when Cerie starts getting a lot of attention Jenna nobly steps back in. But then a light almost falls on her, her heel breaks, and a chair collapses when she sits in it. She thinks its the curse but Hazel confesses that its been her all along. She wants to be Liz’s best friend and she needs Jenna out of the picture. Silly Hazel, doesn’t she know Jenna will always be the craziest bitch at TGS. She can’t be out crazied.

Jack, as we all know, has been frustrated with his role at Kabletown and the lack of growth it provides. When Hank Hooper makes the announcement that Kabletown turned  a large profit which they will be using to pay the shareholder’s dividends. Jack hates to see a profit wasted like that so he is using the shower principle to have a moment of genius. By distracting his brain with another task he hopes to find the perfect idea to pitch. Liz suggests that he meditate, but Jack thinks meditation is stupid. In a moment of desperation he tries it anyway and has his aha moment. Jack suggests that since they already contribute greatly to the relaxing experience of Americans with phone, internet, and cable services, that they start to make couches too. Hank agrees and Jack gets his opportunity for growth.

Best/Funniest Moments

• Liz’s meditation session.
• The guys putting the healthy food on the top shelf.
• Hazel trying to sabotage Jenna.
• Jack shooting the rats.

Quotes

Jack: “I once pants-ed Deepak Chopra while Craig T. Nelson taped it. I don’t meditate.”

Hazel: “Eyes down here, boys. I have breasts, you know?”