Previously on Modern Family (way back when it was still March, seriously a month is too long to go without Modern Family): Send out the Clowns
Today is election day, and no I didn’t forget that Claire was running for council(wo)man and think they had oddly jumped ahead to the November elections. That didn’t happen. Shut up, it didn’t.
To support Claire in her campaign to win everyone has a job. Phil will be driving around fifty senior citizens to the polls (one at a time even though he has a minivan, really Phil?). Mitchell and Cam have created a ‘Vote for Claire’ mobile and they will be driving around town telling people to vote for Claire. Alex is running the phone bank that Luke, Manny, Gloria, and Haley will be working. Jay is going to vote. Simple enough. And if everyone had done their jobs correctly things may have been different, but I guess we’ll never know.
After an hour or so of making announcements about Claire, Mitchell and Cam find that their new car, complete with an awesome intercom system, gives them a new power: the ability to criticize, judge, and yell at pedestrians, all for their own good of course. They start with telling a man not to litter and a woman not to jay-walk and things just spiral from there. Eventually they pull over to eat some lunch and notice one of Lily’s teacher who they begin to gossip about. Unbeknownst to them, the intercom button is pressed and Lily’s teacher has heard the whole conversation about how they suspect her fiancé is gay. They convince her they were just being silly gossips, and learn their lesson about the intercom.
Phil makes a very noble attempt to drive the senior citizens to the polls, but Walt (Luke’s bestie), has decided to use Phil as a personal chauffeur for the day. Despite his best efforts Phil can’t shake Walt, so he ends up only getting one senior citizen to the polls. Speaking of polls, Jay is very appreciative of the American voting system and boasts about it to Gloria, but when he arrives he turns and bolts. Jay tells Gloria it’s because the first woman he dated after his divorce is working the polls and it ended with him sneaking out of her house in the middle of the night. Jay mans up (eventually) and waits for her to leave the table. Once the coast is clear, he grabs a ballot, sneaks into a booth and is about to slip his ballot into the box when she comes back. She dangles the ballot in front of his face and makes it clear his vote won’t count. A woman scorned…
The phone bank is also not going well. Luke is lying to people over the phone. Manny is trying to be eloquent and persuasive but to no avail. Haley isn’t doing anything, just freaking out about college acceptance letters (she’s been rejected by all schools but one). Gloria doesn’t understand why people are saying “no” to her, they usually never do. Alex explains it’s because they can’t see her. Meanwhile Claire has a radio interview, but because her tooth fell out when she tried to rip off a tag, she sounds drunk. It isn’t affective campaigning.
Sum all that up and it’s pretty obvious why Claire lost. But at least someone got a win. Haley was put on the wait list at the last school, which is much better than a rejection.
- Cam and Mitchell pulling up in the Claire Mobile
- Claire’s toothless photo op
- Any scene with Phil and Walt
Alex: “Dear Miss Dunphy, we regret to inform you…”
Haley: “What? Don’t leave me hanging!”
Jay: “The lines too long.”
Gloria: “It’s only three people, and nobody has a gun.”
Luke: “What? Like she’ll be the first politician to make a promise she can’t keep?!?”
Phil: “Our daughter might be going to college!!!” (It’s the enthusiasm that makes this quote).