new girl’s best quotes: katie

“Jess, are you cooking a frittata in a sauce pan? What is this, prison?” – Schmidt

“What photograph were you working from? My hair hasn’t looked like that in three weeks!” – Schmidt…clearly unappreciative of Jess’ multi-cloth collage

“Winston, your sister got so hot. I’m gonna have to Shaq Attack her. May I have your blessing? Cause I’m going to be like, dribblin’, up the court (boom) technical foul (boom) illegal use of the hands (boom).” – Schmidt (this quote is best appreciated when viewed, written words do it zero justice)

“I had the best sex of my life last night. He brewed me like a fine chamomile.” – Jess
“Oh, was that you? Thought that was a couple of bums fighting.” – Nick
“It wasn’t. It was me, having sex. I left my body, went up to heaven, saw my grandparents, thought it was weird that I saw my grandparents, came back down, I became a werewolf and scared some teenagers. I came back into my body. Only thing is, he thinks my name is Katie and that I’m a dancer, and/or something involving puppets.” – Jess

“Maybe you should watch a cautionary tale that I like to call the Nutty Professor.” – Schmidt

“Is there a hot way of saying I don’t feel sexy after I’ve had a lot of cheese?” – Jess

“I can’t wait to see your meat bar.” – Bearclaw (played by Josh Gad), who should have been Andy, saying ‘meat bar’, which should have been ‘body’ (damn those auto-corrects!)

“Hey, if we make love later, and I tell you to pretend I’m a scary ghost, are you gonna be weirded out by that.” – Bearclaw

“I don’t care what you like or what your name is or anything about you. And the good news is, you don’t have to care about me either and we can still tear each other apart. What do you think?” – Sam (played by David Walton, RIP BENT) making an irresistible offer

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