happy endings’ best quotes: cazsh dummy spillionaires

“That’s the least interesting pairing since chicken biscotti and pinot grig’.” – Max
“What?” – Penny, et. al
“Sorry, been watching a lot of Frasier.” – Max

———-

“Trust us, the last thing we want is for things to get complicated, like in It’s Complicated. So we’re just going to go with it, like in Just Go With It. And be friends with benefits, like in No Strings Attached.” – Alex

———-

“Now you go to work and make that money for poppa. I’ll just be here chillin’ all day. Thinkin’ about you, thinkin’ about me, thinkin’ about you…naked.” – Brad

———-

“OK bro-vine growth hormone, here’s to keepin’ it cazsh.” – Dave

———-

“Ooh, I hate to be this girl, but I do see some residual crust on that sandwich, and I thought that I made myself pretty crystal clear when I told you I wanted zero crust whatsoever because it hurts my teeth. Did you not feel I was clear?” – Penny

———-

“Well, two things you should know about me, Kent. I’m selfless and I’ve got moves like Jagger. Specifically the ones he allegedly used on David Bowie in the 70s.” – Max

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“It counts, I’ll tell you what doesn’t count, the Miami Heat’s most recent NBA championship. It was an injury-plagued, strike-shortened season. Therefore, Lebron still needs six rings to even get in the conversation with Jordan.” – Jane
“Are you done?” – Alex
“No. Also, Chris Bosh looks like one of Omar’s boyfriends from The Wire.” – Jane

———-

“…I was working with Sin-Brad for awhile. Getting pretty bad at it, which is how Sin-Brad says good because he’s got a 90s sensibility.” – Brad

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“Yes! Max, keep it cool, but you’re jazzed.” – Max (aka the internal monologue everyone has when they tell a particularly witty joke)

———-

“Mmm, Lunesta, nature’s Ambien.” – Max

———-

“Music’s pretty good huh? This is my one-man experimental band called Yoko Uno.” – Max

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One thought on “happy endings’ best quotes: cazsh dummy spillionaires

  1. […] Previous Happy Endings Quotes: Cazsh Dummy Spillionaires […]

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