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Previously on Modern Family: The Butler’s Escape

Open House of Horrors

Phil tells Claire that she’s not scary. Challenge Accepted!…oh wait, wrong show. Anyway,  when Phil is alone in a creaky old house and lets it slip that he’s kind of scared, Claire grabs the opportunity and runs over to scare him. Phil finds Claire’s Little Bo Peep stalk and begins looking for her, all the while reassuring her he won’t be scared. Until….some potential buyers come into the house and Phil becomes scared that she will pop out and freak them out of the purchase. To Phil’s relief she does not, however, he’s still not convinced she’s not in the house, until he gets a phone call from her and the kids, reassuring him that she’s home. But wait, what’s that creak? A freaked out Phil climbs the stairs and enters the bedroom only to find Claire and Luke.

are you my mother?

Cam wants everyone to see the weight he’s lost with his Halloween costume, but the matador suit which was supposed to be in Cam’s size came in Mitchell’s size, so now everyone won’t get to see how good Cam looks at their party. With Cam in a bull costume, no one can see his slender new physique, so obviously he started to flash everyone. Mitchell notices that this is not making anyone happy. Meanwhile, Lily thinks her mother is a princess because of Mitchell telling her that in his exhausted stupor. With a princess at their Halloween party Lily begins to ask a lot of questions and Mitchell and Cam have to explain about Lily’s mother.

for the last time, green lips do nothing for you.

Gloria is extremely hot-tempered as of late. Yelling at everyone and anything with only the slightest provocation. She worries that her excited temper means the baby is mean. Jay explains that it’s just hormones. Jay meanwhile, thinks that he’s lost his mojo since he couldn’t talk his way out of a speeding ticket. But when the princess at the party hits on him, he feels better. Little does he know, his princess is really a man.

Best/Funniest Moments

Gloria’s alien costume
Gloria chasing those smart ass boys
Claire in the bathroom mirror

Quotes
Phil: Wait so you’re telling me this call isn’t coming from inside the house?

Gloria: I have an angry baby inside of me making me do bad things!

Cameron: I’m tired of people not noticing the new physique. If this doesn’t work I’m breaking out the diaper and top hat and going as baby New Year.

everybody put your hand in your pockets and shrug

Yard Sale

Jay and Gloria are hosting a yard sale fundraiser, which Jay is not happy about at all. While unloading many of the items for purchase Manny brings down a suitcase from the attic, which Gloria stops him from opening and returns to its rightful place warning Manny never to ask questions about it again. With Luke as his sidekick, Manny get the suitcase and discovers a puppet. Gloria admits to using it as her talent during a beauty pageant and though at first she refuses to share her talent, eventually she puts on a show, which Claire thoroughly enjoys.

Jay is thinking about selling his motorcycle and offers it to Phil who promptly claims that Claire would never let him have one. Claire tells him that’s not true, he could have a motorcycle if he wanted. Phil doesn’t really want one, but he can’t admit to being scared so he takes it for a test drive. The drive ends up with him trapped under the bike for 127 minutes and returning to the house with one pant leg ripped off.

those earrings are too gorge’ to stay hidden by your hair.

Cam is trying to get rid of his larger sized pants at the yard sale but Mitchell doesn’t want him to have to go through the torment of purchasing pants again if he puts on weight. Claire has asked Mitchell and Cam to talk to Alex about the fact that he boyfriend is gay. When Alex talks to her boyfriend he denies it. But seriously, he’s gay.

Best/Funniest Moments

• When Cam and Mitchell meet Alex’s boyfriend for the first time
• Phil’s 127 minutes documentary
• Jay sitting in his chair with Stella

Quotes

Jay: You’re wearing a $10K watch and you haggling over 15 cents?
Guy: You live in this place and you can’t let that 15 cents go?
Jay: Fine 35.
Guy: Can you break a 50?
Jay: Get out.

Alex: I know what you think about Michael, mom. You didn’t have to bring your big gay guns in to back you up. No offense.
Mitchell: None taken.
Cam: I kinda like it.