it’s always sunny in philadelphia’s best quotes: charlie and dee find love

Previous IASIP quotes: Charlie and Dee Find Love

“Yeah, yeah, and it’s not going to be me, OK? I’m not doing those dishes because I had the hardest job.” – Mac

“Setting the table? Are you dumb?” – Dee

“I hosted! It was wall-to-wall details. I was on edge the whole time!” – Mac

“Well, it’s gotta be you or Frank or Charlie, because Dennis and I cooked.” – Dee

“The food was mush.” – Frank

“The food was divine. It was pheasant.” – Dennis


“I had the hardest job of anyone. I traveled all the way to this exotic merchant in search of this rare foul.” – Charlie

“What the hell are you talking about Charlie? You went to the corner gourmet grocery store and you bought a pheasant.” – Dennis


“Wow, that’s almost impossible.” – The therapist

“Well, first of all, through God, all things are possible, so jot that down.” – Mac


“Oh, I get it, cute, you leave this pen here and people are supposed to think, wait, that looks like a dick.” – Mac


“Well, Charlie work is like, you know, like basement stuff, cleaning urinals, blood stuff, your basic slimes, your sludges, anything dead or decaying. You know? I’m on it, I’m dealing with it.” – Charlie


“…would it be weird if you eat cat food to go to sleep and you have such a fascination with cats that maybe you glue cat hair on the back of your neck every now and again?” – Charlie


“To be in someone’s mind. To have complete control. It’s like the thrill of being near the executioner’s switch. Knowing that at any moment, you could throw it, but knowing you never will…but you could, never isn’t the right word, because I could…and I might…I probably will.” – Dennis


“So he has no appetite because you’re drugging him, secretly?” – The therapist

“Giving a man medicine for his disease, wherever did I get that idea?” – Dennis


“Yea, I want to do this the right way Dennis. The therapist implied that God wanted me to have bovine hormones and I think that she’s going to get them for me.” – Mac


Other notables:

  • Dee’s therapist was played by Kerri Kenney (Deputy Trudy Wiegel, Reno 911)
  • Mac’s whole sessions was pure crazy. It was awesome.
  • I would LOVE to read Dennis’ psychological dossiers, but more than that, I’d love it if Charlie wrote them. He writes the best books.
  • Dennis drawing during his “session” was surprisingly not one of the creepiest things he’s ever done.
  • Was anyone else reminded of Ben Stiller’s “Do it, do it” in Starsky & Hutch when Dee kept repeating “Tell me I’m good”? Anyone??
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