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Previously on Modern Family: party crasher

Heart Broken
It’s Valentine’s Day again and like the year before that and the year before that we find Claire and Phil at the hotel bar pretending to meet for the first time. The hilarity of these moments comes from their ability to go in and out of real life and the fantasty they’re playing out. As they’re getting ready to leave, Claire passes out, Phil isn’t sure for a moment whether it’s real or not.

It’s real. Claire had an episode of slight arrhythmia which is something her mother used to experience. With a bottle of meds she’ll be just fine. Determined to put the episode behind them, Claire dressed up in little outfits to seduce Phil who is not having any of it. He is too concerned for her well-being. Though Claire didn’t want anyone to know. Phil lets it slip to the kids when he breaks up their party. When they show their concern Claire is upset with Phil, but Phil explains to her that sometimes she has to let other people take care of her.

Jay and Gloria haven’t had sex since Joe was born and are very eager beavers. Unlucky for them life continues to get in the way. Jay has meeting, Manny has school, the baby-proofer arrives, Manny has a possible crisis, etc. Eventually though they are able to shut out life, for the most part, and get busy together.

“I am totally clashing with this table cloth” – Pink Cat

Cam and Mitchell have decided to throw a Valentine’s party for all their single friends. Immediately before Cam makes a comment about Mitchell not usually being fun at these parties so Mitchell ends up going overboard. They wake up to a pink cat on the bed, holiday decorations in the living room and Dylan (Haley’s on, off, boyfriend) in Lily’s room. They don’t have the heart to kick him out, so luckily Lily does it for them.

Best/Funniest Moments

• Gloria getting hot and bothered over Jay helping the baby-proofer
• Phil’s nose bleeding all over Claire
• Lily kicking Dylan out and while he’s down

Quotes
Jay: Just keep hitting all those buttons until something good happens, that’s my plan anyway.
Gloria: Woof.

Manny: Happy Valentine’s Day, it’s the one time of year when the world tries to be as romantic as I am all the time. Good luck world.

Phil: Everybody who I did not create, get out of my house right now.

——–

Bad Hair Day

Claire is going to her college reunion and although she’s not opposed to Phil going, she’s glad when he can’t make it because of his bowling tournament with Jay. Becuase, ya know, she doesn’t want ot have to explain who’s who of everyone. Turns out though that Jay is very intense about this tournament and when he sees an opportunity to upgrade his player Phil is out and free to surprise Claire at her reunion. She informs him that her ex-boyfriend, the one that dumped her right before she met Phil, is here. Phil of course confuses which man she is talking about and keeps his eye on a short permanently friend-zoned man named Tater. Leaving Claire to flirt with her ex. Phil realizes his mistake in time for Claire to realize that her life with Phil is so much better than life with her ex could’ve been. No more iffy feelings there.

Dahling, I couldn’t give a rat’s ass, I’m fierce.

Mitchell and Cam are throwing an Oscar party and they plan to have pictures of Lily dressed up as various starlets. When Lily throws a diva-fit and refuses to do anything else, Cam has baby Joe step in. Lily, now the set assistant has glued the wig on baby Joe’s head in the interest of, well, who knows. Try as they might Cam and Mitchell are not able to get the wig off baby Joe easily so Mitchell cuts it off.  Mitchell then asks Cam who asks Manny, who asks, Luke, who asks Jay to take the blame. Jay takes it and Gloria isn’t upset, especially after the spa day she had.

Best/Funniest Moments

• Phil breaking in his new bowling shoes
• Lily walking off the set
• Joe in a wig

Quotes
Cameron: Well you might as well be a dead hobo in the woods of a small town after a rainstorm because you have just been discovered.

Phil: I should get going, my allergies are starting to cry.

Mitchell: We’ve had my dad’s baby 45 minutes and he’s already in a dress.