Author Archives: kris10alyse

revenge recapping: retribution/illumination

Previously on Revenge: Sacrifice

Retribution

Emily at the Funeral

It’s weird burying myself…

Jack has survived his gun shot wound only to wake up and learn that Amanda is dead. His devastation however turns into a fire for retribution when he seems Conrad Grayson and remembers what he learned about Amanda’s motives on the boat. Jack shares his newfound information with Emily and Nolan, who are obviously already aware of the ploy.

Emily’s grief is overwhelming and Nolan and Aiden are a little worried, but Aiden reassures Nolan as long as Emily stays focused on the Graysons and the initiative things will be fine. Emily takes care of Jack and searches for the laptop but with no success. Jack asks Emily to read the eulogy at Amanda’s funeral and although she is hesitant at first she agrees.

After identifying Amanda’s body, Charlotte is concerned about the size of the funeral. She knows that there will be few people there so she goes in search of other people who were important to Amanda.  She stumbles across a foster brother, who eventually gets in contact with Charlotte.

Prior to the funeral Jack discovers the hiding place of the laptop and realizes there was more of a connection between Emily and Amanda than they initially let on. Jack is upset at how much Emily knew and what he kept from him and refuses to accept an explanation or apology from Emily. In the last scene of the episode Emily encounters Eli James (played by Collins Pennie), her long lost foster brother.

Quotes
Nolan: [to Emily] Like I said, I’m life’s pawn. I just have to figure out who’s moving me next.

Daniel: [to Conrad and Victoria] All part of the plan? Exactly how much blood are you two comfortable, because I just hit my limit.

——

Illumination

Eli, Charlotte, Victoria

You were Amanda’s brother?

Eli is a sketchy character and figures out that Emily is actually Amanda, which is exactly what she was worried about. Even worse, Eli has started in on aligning himself with the Graysons, which Emily fears will lead to an exposure of who she is. We find out that Emily burnt down Eli and her foster home in order to keep them from separating. Eli works his magic on the Graysons and ends up as co-chair of the Amanda Clarke foundation, a position that Emily had been vying for.

Jack is still digging for the answers to what happen the night that he was saved and Amanda died. His quest leads him to a dock and a boat owner who reveals a man with sandy blond hair bought the boat that Jack was saved with. Jack assumes Nolan but when confronted Nolan is quick to prove that its not him. He places the blame on Kenny Ryan so as not to lose Jack’s trust.

While haunted by the ghost of her past Emily finds out that the Graysons are using the Amanda Clarke foundation to hide their assets. When the initiative attacks again, they will not be left stranded without access to the large fund to which they’ve grown accustomed. Emily and Nolan begin working on gaining access to the funds and Nolan finds he has come across a familiar foe, Falcon.

Expectations/Predictions
Jacks quest to continue Amanda’s will end sooner rather than later and without success
Eli will be found out before Emily
Daniel will continue to fight the initiative and put his life in danger

Quotes
Eli: Guy’s got the weight of the world on his shoulders. Not at all the, uh, footloose dock boy you told me about, is he Amanda? You look pretty good for a dead girl.

Nolan: The man, the myth, The Falcon, is back on the Grayson’s payroll.
Emily: Then let’s go hunting.

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modern family recapping: best men

Previously on Modern Family: Bad Hair Day

Mitchell, Sal and Cameron

Two grooms!

Cam and Mitchell’s crazy bestie Sal has finally decided to settle down and make a mockery of marriage. She met a man several months ago and she knows he’s the one because her boring nights at home with him are just as fun as nights out. She does get a case of cold feet, or hot lips and makes out with the bartender right before the ceremony. But in the end she goes through with the marriage. And Cam and Mitchell performed their best men duties and bit their tongues.

Gloria and Jay have a meeting with Manny’s teacher. She is concerned about Manny’s recent artistic focus, which seems to be a woman’s body. Jay jumps to the conclusion that Manny’s inspiration is his mother, since she has been breastfeeding often. But when they’re sent out of the house by Manny and Jay discovers Manny’s notebook he realizes the inspiration is their new nanny, Daliya. Manny has planned to confess his love and as he does so, the nanny lets him down easy.

Claire thinks that she and Haley have crossed a threshold and have now reached the point in their lives where they can be friends. Claire invites Haley to dinner and she agrees. Claire is so excited they get to be friends until Haley runs into someone she knows and ditches Claire. Haley returns to the coffeehouse where Claire stayed to watch Alex and the two realize Alex is a pretty great musician. Alex is embarrassed by them and quickly, but politely, tells them to get lost. Claire and Haley bond over the moment. Phil accompanies Luke on his first date and before he knows it Luke’s date’s mom is under the impression that she and Phil are on a date. When Phil informs her that is not the case he ends up with a drink in his face, but Luke’s date wants to date him even more.

Best/Funniest Moments

  • Sal making out with the bartender
  • Manny’s romantic dinner for the Daliya
  • Phil Facebook chatting with Luke’s date

Quotes
Cameron: What kind of people would we be if we denied you or anyone the right to marry?
Mitchell: Hashtag politics.

Phil: Please, you’re at the hands of the master. I think I know how to pick up a 14-year-old girl… for you.

Gloria: It looks like a Madonna video in here!

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how i met your mother recapping: weekend at barney’s

Previously on How I Met Your Mother: The Ashtray

Jeanette burning the playbook

Burning the playbook makes it the burn book

So there was this playbook, which Barney burned to prove his love to Patrice, but actually Robin. And Robin has told him that was the moment she knew she could marry him because he’d given up his old life. Well, turns out, the playbook is very much in tact.
Lily is trying to nab the work of an up-and-coming hot new artist, which means she needs to schmooze. Marshall pledges to support her by attending the opening. Try as he might, Marshall has difficulty talking to the other guests. And try as she might, Lily has a hard time getting a chance to talk to the artist. But, it turns out. The artist is the one person in the room who can be charmed by Marshall’s interests and jokes.
Ted has broken up with Jeanette, but he’s having a rough time staying away from the crazy and the crazy good sex. Barney decides to help him out with use of the playbook, secret mission style. Unfortunately, the advances don’t work and Barney gets caught by Robin. Leaving Ted unmonitored for long enough to get back together with Jeanette, who throws a crazy tantrum and burns the playbook and throws Ted’s stuff out the window. This time they’re definitely over.
Robin and Barney reconcile because they are crazy in love with each other and perfect together. And when Jeanette burns the playbook, Barney could care less.
Best/Funniest Moments

  • All the plays Barney runs through Ted
  • Marshall dropping the skittles
  • The Weekend at Barney dreams and Robin’s confusion over the play

Quotes
Barney: My other one rule.
Ted: Lebanese girls sprint to third base and then stay there.

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modern family recapping: heart broken/bad hair day

Previously on Modern Family: party crasher

Heart Broken
It’s Valentine’s Day again and like the year before that and the year before that we find Claire and Phil at the hotel bar pretending to meet for the first time. The hilarity of these moments comes from their ability to go in and out of real life and the fantasty they’re playing out. As they’re getting ready to leave, Claire passes out, Phil isn’t sure for a moment whether it’s real or not.

It’s real. Claire had an episode of slight arrhythmia which is something her mother used to experience. With a bottle of meds she’ll be just fine. Determined to put the episode behind them, Claire dressed up in little outfits to seduce Phil who is not having any of it. He is too concerned for her well-being. Though Claire didn’t want anyone to know. Phil lets it slip to the kids when he breaks up their party. When they show their concern Claire is upset with Phil, but Phil explains to her that sometimes she has to let other people take care of her.

Jay and Gloria haven’t had sex since Joe was born and are very eager beavers. Unlucky for them life continues to get in the way. Jay has meeting, Manny has school, the baby-proofer arrives, Manny has a possible crisis, etc. Eventually though they are able to shut out life, for the most part, and get busy together.

Cam, Mitchell, Dylan and Pink Cat

“I am totally clashing with this table cloth” – Pink Cat

Cam and Mitchell have decided to throw a Valentine’s party for all their single friends. Immediately before Cam makes a comment about Mitchell not usually being fun at these parties so Mitchell ends up going overboard. They wake up to a pink cat on the bed, holiday decorations in the living room and Dylan (Haley’s on, off, boyfriend) in Lily’s room. They don’t have the heart to kick him out, so luckily Lily does it for them.

 

 

 

 

Best/Funniest Moments

  • Gloria getting hot and bothered over Jay helping the baby-proofer
  • Phil’s nose bleeding all over Claire
  • Lily kicking Dylan out and while he’s down

Quotes
Jay: Just keep hitting all those buttons until something good happens, that’s my plan anyway.
Gloria: Woof.

Manny: Happy Valentine’s Day, it’s the one time of year when the world tries to be as romantic as I am all the time. Good luck world.

Phil: Everybody who I did not create, get out of my house right now.

——–

Bad Hair Day


Claire is going to her college reunion and although she’s not opposed to Phil going, she’s glad when he can’t make it because of his bowling tournament with Jay. Becuase, ya know, she doesn’t want ot have to explain who’s who of everyone. Turns out though that Jay is very intense about this tournament and when he sees an opportunity to upgrade his player Phil is out and free to surprise Claire at her reunion. She informs him that her ex-boyfriend, the one that dumped her right before she met Phil, is here. Phil of course confuses which man she is talking about and keeps his eye on a short permanently friend-zoned man named Tater. Leaving Claire to flirt with her ex. Phil realizes his mistake in time for Claire to realize that her life with Phil is so much better than life with her ex could’ve been. No more iffy feelings there.

Lily

Dahling, I couldn’t give a rat’s ass, I’m fierce.

Mitchell and Cam are throwing an Oscar party and they plan to have pictures of Lily dressed up as various starlets. When Lily throws a diva-fit and refuses to do anything else, Cam has baby Joe step in. Lily, now the set assistant has glued the wig on baby Joe’s head in the interest of, well, who knows. Try as they might Cam and Mitchell are not able to get the wig off baby Joe easily so Mitchell cuts it off.  Mitchell then asks Cam who asks Manny, who asks, Luke, who asks Jay to take the blame. Jay takes it and Gloria isn’t upset, especially after the spa day she had.

Best/Funniest Moments

  • Phil breaking in his new bowling shoes
  • Lily walking off the set
  • Joe in a wig

Quotes
Cameron: Well you might as well be a dead hobo in the woods of a small town after a rainstorm because you have just been discovered.

Phil: I should get going, my allergies are starting to cry.

Mitchell: We’ve had my dad’s baby 45 minutes and he’s already in a dress.

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revenge recapping: union/sacrifice

Previously on Revenge: Collusion

Union

Jack and Amanda's Wedding

“I sooo want to bang him…” (Emily…and Nolan)

Its time for Jack and Amanda’s nuptials, but like any wedding there is a lot of prep to be done. First, there is the obligatory blackmail that Amanda must do to secure her hubby’s safety. She confesses to Conrad that she has the evidence she needs to clear her father’s name and she would be willing to go to the police at anytime, unless he accepts Jack’s money (generously given to him by the one Emily Thorne) and leave the Stowaway alone. Conrad acquiesces but Nate Ryan, well-balanced guy that he is, does not. His wheels begin turning as he figures out how to free up Conrad’s worries.

Aiden’s quest to truly know what happened to his sister is assisted by Nolan. Working under direct order of Emily, Nolan is trying to help Aiden uncover the truth. Emily wants her Aiden back and knows he won’t return until he has his answer. Nolan and Aiden discover that Colleen died six years ago, Helen Crowley was just a cat playing with her food. Nolan meanwhile discovers that Padma’s father has been kidnapped and the initiative is using her to uncover Carrion. Now in the know, Nolan and Emily will help her.

Daniel’s life is teetering on the edge as the Grayson’s livelihood may very well go up in smoke. Queen Victoria sets a plan in motion that gives her a moment alone with Helen Crowley. Opportunist that she is, Queen Victoria uses this moment to shoot her. Now what shall she do with the body.

Also the wedding was beautiful. Emily had some difficulty with it, given the life she chose over an opportunity to marry Jack. But when Aiden shows up Emily breathes a sigh of relief. One hot guy for another, right?

Quotes

Nolan: [to Padma] Hey, careful who you’re calling black, little kettle.

Ashley: Victoria, do you mind? We’re actually in the middle of things.
Victoria: And fully clothed! How refreshing!

—-

Sacrifice

Helen is definitely dead. And Victoria definitely killed her. What does this mean? It means we’ve got another scheming pile of cover-up on our hands. Luckily the mastermind already pretty much has is figured out, she just needs the other two on board. She fakes Helen returning to her home and stages a falling-out/disagreement with Daniel under the watchful Initiative camera’s. Then she places just the right amount of evidence against Amanda Clarke at the Porter’s place. And all in time to put on a killer (no pun intended) red dress and happy face for the labor day party. Is summer over already?

Emily, Aiden and Nolan decide to let Padma lead them to the Initiative now that Daniel will be keeping Emily at arm’s length for her own safety. Yeah, right Daniel! She definitely needs big bad gullible boy to protect her. During their discussion it is discovered that Jack and Amanda might be in trouble. Aiden is left to assist Padma, Nolan and Emily set off to find “The Amanda”.

After one blissful night together on the deck of their ship, where they probably froze their asses off, Jack and Amanda wake up to a gun-toting Nate. He threatens and throws his gun around, no biggie. Then he separates the two. Amanda manipulates him into believe it was all her and had nothing to do with Jack, meanwhile confessing her true mission was always to get revenge on the Grayson’s. Jack and Amanda mislead Nate to believe the evidence he is looking for is below deck. When he find he’s been deceived there is a scuffle and Jack gets shot. Amanda sacrifices herself but pushing him into the life boat and across the water. She fights off Nate long enough that he doesn’t get another shot at Jack.

Nolan and Emily find Jack and Nolan takes him to the hospital while Amanda goes after Emily. She finds her intact and as they are about to leave. Nate blows up the boat. Emily comes out unscathed, but Amanda is in bad shape. As she dies she asks Emily to take care of Jack and thanks her for giving her a family. Emily is distraught over Amanda’s death.

Creepy guy

I’m related to the creepy thin man….

Expectations/Predictions

  • Victoria framing Amanda for killing Helen is gonna piss Emily off
  • Jack will be upset, but how long do we have to wait until he is with Emily
  • Nolan and Padma will join in the crusades against the Initiative
  • This new guy will be way creepier than Helen

Quotes
Conrad: Congratulations, Victoria. With one bullet you’ve slaughtered us all.
Victoria: The bitch had it coming.

Daniel: How are we gonna live with this?
Victoria: Like we always do. We go about our lives as if nothing ever happened.
Daniel: And what about Amanda Clarke?
Victoria: Poor girl. She chose the wrong enemy.

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