Category Archives: How I Met Your Mother

how i met your mother recapping: romewardbound/the bro mitzvah

Previously on How I Met Your Mother: The Time Travelers

Romeward Bound

Marshall and his new wife

Know somewhere I can bury this sausage?

Lily is still working for The Captian who has decided he wants to move to Rome and he wants to take her with him. Lily refuses because she believes Marshall loves his job, but when she goes to visit his office and finds out that the firm has all but shut down Marshall offers her the chance to rethink her refusal. When The Captain offers her the position in Rome a second time, she still says no because she is scared. Marshall talks to her about it and they decide to take the plunge and do it.

Robin, Barney and Ted are all trying to see what the wedding planner’s body looks like under her big baggy coat. Ted has seen it in his pilates classes and says it nuclear. Because Robin seems so cool with it Barney is overly interested in finding out whats under the coat. Ted warns him to be careful. RObin is cool, but she will have a limit. Barney doesn’t heed his warning, so we’ll see where that ends up.

Best/Funniest Moment

  • Marshall’s Rome fantasy
  • Lily’s Rome Fantasy
  • Marshall’s office/job

Quotes
Ted: Indiana Jones wouldn’t look at this body. This is a body that would melt a Nazi’s face.

Lily: When you said you were about to get reamed?
Marshall: Oh right that. No, sometimes for fun, we throw reams of paper at each other. Bernard! Not a good time! Read the room!

The Bro Mitzvah

The Bro Mitzvah

This is legen, don’t bother waiting for it because it sucks, dary.

This is it. The moment Barney has been waiting for. His Bro Mitzvah (bachelor party)! He’s already given Ted and Marshall a list because he believes the two will not be able to pull it off. Ted and Marshall start by kidnapping Barney, a good start, though this means Barney will skip out on dinner with RObin and his mother. They head to a hotel right outside of AC, have a few beers, hire a clown, bring the wrong karate kid, hire Quinn (ex-fiancee) as stripper, Barney gambled so he loses money for caterer and bets Marshall who he loses to the mafia and Robin dumps him for losing the money, marshall and abandoning her at a disastrous dinner with his mom.

Turns out it was all a hoax, but it was also everything Barney wanted, just in the most effed up ways possible. The last surprise of the evening, the clown was the real karate kid (according to Barney)

Seriously though Robin is a pretty epic fiancee.

Best/Funniest Moments

  • Barney’s kidnapping
  • Quinn being the stripper
  • Marshall getting his hand cut off
  • Barney’s mom thinking Robin was a virgin

Quotes
Loretta Stinson: You are so funny. What’s gotten into you? Oh that’s right, nothing, ever.

Barney Stinson: Shut it Ralph Maccio! Why don’t you go have a party with Luke Skywalker and Harry Potter and War Horse and all the other movie bad guys and stop ruining mine!

Robin: I’m not a virgin! My napkin ring has seen plenty of breadsticks and one baguette. I dated a center from the Knicks.

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how i met your mother recapping: the fortress/the time travelers

Previously on How I Met Your Mother: Weekend at Barney’s
The Fortress
Marshall, Ted and Lily are obsessed with a new show called Woodworthy Manor, which sounds a lot like Downton Abbey. Unfortunately for Marshall, Lily is also so obsessed with her new job that Marshall is way behind on episodes and spending no time with Lily. Ted is spending most of his time with Marshall though and the two end up acting like a couple. Until Lily sees the problem with spending too much time working and stops answering to The Captain’s every call.

Ted and Barney

I am the great and powerful Barney!

Barney and Robin are discussing where to live after they get married. Robin wants Barney to sell his place so they can get something together. He’s reluctant but Robin moves forward with a plan and a realtor. Barney tried to dissuade everyone from buying his apartment by discussing all the creepy additions he’s put into place. Finally a couple agrees to buy but during the negotiation process they are so mean about Barney’s innovative ideas that Robin tells them to get lost.
Best/Funniest Moments

  • The great and powerful Barney (and Robin) head
  • Train tracks under the bed
  • Marshall and Ted acting like a couple

Quotes
Barney(to Ted): Oh my god, can you just be cool? Once. Please. Just once. Can you just be cool once? Please?
Ted: No, I said dressing the dummy up was a waste of time.

The Time Travelers

Ted and Barney

How many of me are you seeing?

I know I should recap this episode, but since at the end of the episode they basically say that it was all in Ted’s head or it happened in the future or something confusing like that I don’t really know what to say. Ted was debating going to Robots vs. Wrestlers with Barney, but actually he was going to go by himself and he was seeing into the future when Barney would ask him to go (I think, I don’t know). But basically there were future Teds and Barneys trying to convince present Ted to do something that would happen five years from now (I think, I don’t know). But then there was a moment where Ted ran to his future wife’s door and told her they were gonna meet in 45 days but he couldn’t wait and then he got punched. Basically I’m very confused about what actually happened in this episode, but in reality nothing happened. Except we learned that 45 days from now Ted will meet the mother of his children. Also, Ted is lonely.
Best/Funniest Moments

  • 20 hours from now Ted
  • Robin and Marshall’s dance off

Quotes
Ted: Hi— I’m Ted Mosby. And exactly 45 days from now you and I are going to meet and we’re going to fall in love and we’re going to get married and we’re going to have 2 kids and we’re going to love them and each other so much. All that is 45 days away, but I’m here now I guess because… I want those extra 45 days with you. I want each one of them. Look and if I can’t have them I’ll take the 45 seconds before your boyfriend shows up and punches me in the face, because… I love you. I’m always gonna love you, til the end of my days and beyond. You’ll see (I still don’t get it, but its nice.)

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how i met your mother recapping: weekend at barney’s

Previously on How I Met Your Mother: The Ashtray

Jeanette burning the playbook

Burning the playbook makes it the burn book

So there was this playbook, which Barney burned to prove his love to Patrice, but actually Robin. And Robin has told him that was the moment she knew she could marry him because he’d given up his old life. Well, turns out, the playbook is very much in tact.
Lily is trying to nab the work of an up-and-coming hot new artist, which means she needs to schmooze. Marshall pledges to support her by attending the opening. Try as he might, Marshall has difficulty talking to the other guests. And try as she might, Lily has a hard time getting a chance to talk to the artist. But, it turns out. The artist is the one person in the room who can be charmed by Marshall’s interests and jokes.
Ted has broken up with Jeanette, but he’s having a rough time staying away from the crazy and the crazy good sex. Barney decides to help him out with use of the playbook, secret mission style. Unfortunately, the advances don’t work and Barney gets caught by Robin. Leaving Ted unmonitored for long enough to get back together with Jeanette, who throws a crazy tantrum and burns the playbook and throws Ted’s stuff out the window. This time they’re definitely over.
Robin and Barney reconcile because they are crazy in love with each other and perfect together. And when Jeanette burns the playbook, Barney could care less.
Best/Funniest Moments

  • All the plays Barney runs through Ted
  • Marshall dropping the skittles
  • The Weekend at Barney dreams and Robin’s confusion over the play

Quotes
Barney: My other one rule.
Ted: Lebanese girls sprint to third base and then stay there.

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how i met your mother recapping: the ashtray

Previously on How I Met Your Mother: Bad Crazy

One trip to an art gallery prompts three different stories: Robin’s, Ted’s, and Lily’s or the truth.

Lily, Robin, Ted, The Captain

Why is he wearing red pants?

When The Captain calls, the storytelling begins. Apparently a while back Ted, Robin and Lily ran into The Captain at an art show. According to Ted, he was rude and threatened him, and was actually in love with the girl that Ted was dating at the time. Leading Ted to believe that he stole another girl from The Captain and that the phone call was about the girl.

Turns out, he wanted Robin’s number, which leads to Robin’s story. Robin reveals that Ted had actually been “eating a sandwich” right before the art show so he was not really the most trustworthy source for the happenings of the night. Robin claims that The Captain was hitting on her all night and that he probably wants to get with her. Robin calls him back to let him down easy but it turns out he was actually looking for Lily.

Lily then tells her version of the story, which is more than likely the truth. She claims that Ted was high and Robin was drunk and they went back to The Captain’s place so he could show Lily a piece of artwork. Lily had expressed interest in the pieces at the gallery while the Captain and his art consultant thought they were amateurish. After insulting her taste in art and belittling her as just a kindergarten teacher, Lily stole an ashtray from The Captain’s house. She assumes he’s calling about the ashtray but he actually wants her to be his new art consultant. Lily finds out that her dreams might still come true.

Best/Funniest Moments
Robin and Ted under the influence at the art opening
The return of Boats! Boats! Boats!
Barney trying to insert himself in all the stories

Quotes

Robin: He’s looking for Lily. Should I give him her number?
Marshall: Yeah we’ve already discussed it. It’s four million dollars cash.

Ted: Oh boy that was a crazy story.
Barney: Oh boy, yeah I remember.
Ted: You weren’t there.
Barney: Ted, bubala, if you have a crazy story, I was there. It’s just the law of the universe.

Ted: That’s weird, I have a message.
Marshall: That’s weird, you still have an answering machine.

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how I met your mother recapping: p.s. i love you/bad crazy

Previously on How I Met Your Mother: ring up

The gang explores the DoblerDahmer Theory that any grand gesture of love can be interpreted as romantic or stalkerish depending on the other person’s feelings. Ted has a new love interest, Jeanette (played by Abby Elliot) who caught his eye on the subway and he is now trying to track down. Turns out Ted isn’t the Dahmer in the scenario as the girl in question has been following since he was on the cover of New York Magazine. Ted, being the person that he is, interprets her affections as a Dobler. Hence he ends up with a bat-shit crazy girlfriend.

Robin Daggers

I’m gonna make a snow angel then eat your soul…

Barney, questioning the whole theory, doesn’t understand how anyone can become so obsessed with anything/one. Robin defends obsession and confesses that she too was once obsessed with someone and there was a restraining order. Barney begins to investigate, quickly becoming obsessed as he interviews ex-boyfriends and discovers the Underneath the Tunes documentary on Robin Sparkles. YESSSSSSS!!!! The documentary is filled with some awesome Canadian celebrities and discusses Robin Sparkles transformation to Robin Daggers. As Robin discovers them with the tape of Underneath the Tunes, Barney confesses anyone can become obsessed. Then Robin reveals P.S. I Love You was about Paul Schaeffer.

 

 

 

 

Best/Funniest Moments

 

Quotes

Lily: I am so happy right now.
Marshall: I want to see her throw her life away so badly.
Ted: We’re all terrible people. Turn it up.

Ted: There’s a fine line between love and insanity.

—-

Bad Crazy

Ted is still with his Dobler, but she is turning into a Dahmer a little more everyday. The gang is encouraging him to break up with her, but he defends their relationship, until finally conceding that she’s crazy. He tries to break up with her in a public place but apparently she doesn’t get the message because she shows up at his place. Even though Marshall and Barney have been instructed not to let her in under any circumstances, they let her in and she trashes Ted’s room. Ted goes to confront her and hooks up with her instead because the sight of her in his red cowboy boots is too much to handle. Lily finally tells Ted he needs to be with Jeanette right now because maybe he’s a little crazy and that’s what’s making her crazy. Basically Lily is telling him to sex the crazy out of him….good advice. That can’t end well.

Ted and Jeanette

Oh shit, she is totally cray cray!

Also Robin has apparently never held baby Marvin. Her fear is so great that rather than hold him herself she hands him over to Mike Tyson, the guy who ate someone’s ear. Then took baby Marvin to a topless bar. We get the whole story in chunks as it takes her 17 years to tell Lily the whole thing. Funny thing is later in the episode when Lily nonchalantly hands Marvin to Robin she becomes addicted and won’t put Marvin down, that is until he soils his diaper.

Best/Funniest Moment

  • Robin reveal the sweet old black lady was actually Mike Tyson
  • Ted in Barney’s Boba Fett costume
  • Robin realizing Mike Tyson was Mike Tyson

Quotes

Barney: Cray Cray gotta go bye bye, before you get stabbed stabbed.

Lily: You took my infant child to a strip club?
Robin: It was just topless!

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