Category Archives: Modern Family

modern family recapping: the wow factor/the future dunphys

Previously on Modern Family: Best Men

The Wow Factor

Mitchell and Luke

Remember that house that Cam and Claire bought? Yeah I pretty much didn’t either. Well they’re hard at work trying to flip it. And while Claire’s method for getting what she wants it to throw a bunch of numbers at Cam, Cam’s method is to shoot a few pegs above what he really wants so Claire will negotiate him down and he’ll “settle”. This works until they figure each other out and Cam brings in his lesbian friend who’s a contractor to convince Claire they need fountains in the backyard as the wow factor. Cam’s plan doesn’t work especially the lesbian seems to find Claire attractive. Cam installs it himself and the two have crossed over to the dark side until the goldfish start shooting out of the fountain

Phil wants to teach his daughters how to own a home by showing them a few homeowners tasks they’ll be forced to do, like change a lightbulb. Phil shows them who to light the pilot light again, but when it doesn’t seem to be working sends them to the store so he can call his dad who walks him through how to fix it.

Jay and Joe have a day for bonding which ends with Gloria finding Jay watching the new James Bond movie while an old friend of Claire’s rocks Joe in the lobby. Mitchell wants to teach Lily’s schoolyard bully a lesson so he has Luke teach him how to win at handball. He succeeds and turns himself into the schoolyard bully in the process.

Best/Funniest Moments

  • Lukes training sessions
  • Cam freaking over the fish
  • Gloria seeing a strange woman rocking her son


Claire: Yesterday I accidentally said eleventy five.

Luke: You’re never off the court!

Jay: Or he took a page from the old Jay Pritchett playbook, saw the crap he was in for and pretended to be asleep


The Future Dunphys

Claire is headed back to the hospital to get some tests done to ensure everything is fine with her heart. Before they go she and Phil have a dispute over what advice they should give their kids. Claire favors forcing them to do what they don’t want to, Phil wants them to do as they please. While at the hospital they see grown up versions of their kids who seem to have turned out fine, but really didn’t. Phil calls to tell the kids to do what they don’t want to, while Claire calls to tell them to follow their heart. The kids worry their parent’s behavior means something is wrong with Claire, but they arrive at the hospital only to receive a text that reads “Mom OK”.

Jay and Manny

Jay takes Manny to tour a prep school he really wants to attend. Jay is apprehensive at first acting high and mighty because of his past with the preppy jerks. But the more he tours the school the more he wants Manny to attend the school and show up his old rivals. Under the new pressure Manny blows his interview, but Jay lets him know that he is proud of Manny everyday and he should never think otherwise.

Lily meanwhile has decided she’s gay. Cam, Mitchell and Gloria try to understand why she is gay and they come to the realization that she says she’s gay because she wants to be like her dads.

Best/Funniest Moments

  • Jay getting excited about the rare books library
  • Present Dunphy kids in the elevator with future Dunphy kids
  • The whole scene in the Vietnamese restaurant

Claire: Alex what have I told you about staying out past your curfew?
Alex: I need to do it more often.

Manny: I’ve always felt out of place in public school, like a lone petunia in an onion patch.

Lily: When am I going to get real boobs?

Tagged , , , , , , , , ,

modern family recapping: best men

Previously on Modern Family: Bad Hair Day

Mitchell, Sal and Cameron

Two grooms!

Cam and Mitchell’s crazy bestie Sal has finally decided to settle down and make a mockery of marriage. She met a man several months ago and she knows he’s the one because her boring nights at home with him are just as fun as nights out. She does get a case of cold feet, or hot lips and makes out with the bartender right before the ceremony. But in the end she goes through with the marriage. And Cam and Mitchell performed their best men duties and bit their tongues.

Gloria and Jay have a meeting with Manny’s teacher. She is concerned about Manny’s recent artistic focus, which seems to be a woman’s body. Jay jumps to the conclusion that Manny’s inspiration is his mother, since she has been breastfeeding often. But when they’re sent out of the house by Manny and Jay discovers Manny’s notebook he realizes the inspiration is their new nanny, Daliya. Manny has planned to confess his love and as he does so, the nanny lets him down easy.

Claire thinks that she and Haley have crossed a threshold and have now reached the point in their lives where they can be friends. Claire invites Haley to dinner and she agrees. Claire is so excited they get to be friends until Haley runs into someone she knows and ditches Claire. Haley returns to the coffeehouse where Claire stayed to watch Alex and the two realize Alex is a pretty great musician. Alex is embarrassed by them and quickly, but politely, tells them to get lost. Claire and Haley bond over the moment. Phil accompanies Luke on his first date and before he knows it Luke’s date’s mom is under the impression that she and Phil are on a date. When Phil informs her that is not the case he ends up with a drink in his face, but Luke’s date wants to date him even more.

Best/Funniest Moments

  • Sal making out with the bartender
  • Manny’s romantic dinner for the Daliya
  • Phil Facebook chatting with Luke’s date

Cameron: What kind of people would we be if we denied you or anyone the right to marry?
Mitchell: Hashtag politics.

Phil: Please, you’re at the hands of the master. I think I know how to pick up a 14-year-old girl… for you.

Gloria: It looks like a Madonna video in here!

Tagged , , , , ,

modern family recapping: heart broken/bad hair day

Previously on Modern Family: party crasher

Heart Broken
It’s Valentine’s Day again and like the year before that and the year before that we find Claire and Phil at the hotel bar pretending to meet for the first time. The hilarity of these moments comes from their ability to go in and out of real life and the fantasty they’re playing out. As they’re getting ready to leave, Claire passes out, Phil isn’t sure for a moment whether it’s real or not.

It’s real. Claire had an episode of slight arrhythmia which is something her mother used to experience. With a bottle of meds she’ll be just fine. Determined to put the episode behind them, Claire dressed up in little outfits to seduce Phil who is not having any of it. He is too concerned for her well-being. Though Claire didn’t want anyone to know. Phil lets it slip to the kids when he breaks up their party. When they show their concern Claire is upset with Phil, but Phil explains to her that sometimes she has to let other people take care of her.

Jay and Gloria haven’t had sex since Joe was born and are very eager beavers. Unlucky for them life continues to get in the way. Jay has meeting, Manny has school, the baby-proofer arrives, Manny has a possible crisis, etc. Eventually though they are able to shut out life, for the most part, and get busy together.

Cam, Mitchell, Dylan and Pink Cat

“I am totally clashing with this table cloth” – Pink Cat

Cam and Mitchell have decided to throw a Valentine’s party for all their single friends. Immediately before Cam makes a comment about Mitchell not usually being fun at these parties so Mitchell ends up going overboard. They wake up to a pink cat on the bed, holiday decorations in the living room and Dylan (Haley’s on, off, boyfriend) in Lily’s room. They don’t have the heart to kick him out, so luckily Lily does it for them.





Best/Funniest Moments

  • Gloria getting hot and bothered over Jay helping the baby-proofer
  • Phil’s nose bleeding all over Claire
  • Lily kicking Dylan out and while he’s down

Jay: Just keep hitting all those buttons until something good happens, that’s my plan anyway.
Gloria: Woof.

Manny: Happy Valentine’s Day, it’s the one time of year when the world tries to be as romantic as I am all the time. Good luck world.

Phil: Everybody who I did not create, get out of my house right now.


Bad Hair Day

Claire is going to her college reunion and although she’s not opposed to Phil going, she’s glad when he can’t make it because of his bowling tournament with Jay. Becuase, ya know, she doesn’t want ot have to explain who’s who of everyone. Turns out though that Jay is very intense about this tournament and when he sees an opportunity to upgrade his player Phil is out and free to surprise Claire at her reunion. She informs him that her ex-boyfriend, the one that dumped her right before she met Phil, is here. Phil of course confuses which man she is talking about and keeps his eye on a short permanently friend-zoned man named Tater. Leaving Claire to flirt with her ex. Phil realizes his mistake in time for Claire to realize that her life with Phil is so much better than life with her ex could’ve been. No more iffy feelings there.


Dahling, I couldn’t give a rat’s ass, I’m fierce.

Mitchell and Cam are throwing an Oscar party and they plan to have pictures of Lily dressed up as various starlets. When Lily throws a diva-fit and refuses to do anything else, Cam has baby Joe step in. Lily, now the set assistant has glued the wig on baby Joe’s head in the interest of, well, who knows. Try as they might Cam and Mitchell are not able to get the wig off baby Joe easily so Mitchell cuts it off.  Mitchell then asks Cam who asks Manny, who asks, Luke, who asks Jay to take the blame. Jay takes it and Gloria isn’t upset, especially after the spa day she had.

Best/Funniest Moments

  • Phil breaking in his new bowling shoes
  • Lily walking off the set
  • Joe in a wig

Cameron: Well you might as well be a dead hobo in the woods of a small town after a rainstorm because you have just been discovered.

Phil: I should get going, my allergies are starting to cry.

Mitchell: We’ve had my dad’s baby 45 minutes and he’s already in a dress.

Tagged , , ,

modern family recapping: party crasher/fulgencio

previously on modern family: new year’s eve

Party Crasher

Gloria going into labor

Well this certainly is a surprise…

It’s Manny’s last birthday before the new baby and Gloria wants to make it the most memorable by throwing him a surprise party. She pulls out all the stops for Manny, gathering all his friends and family at the house. She and Jay pick up a cake, well, actually they steal a cake because they’re short on time, but the sentiment is the same. But while everyone is waiting in the dark to surprise Manny he enters the house with a girl and kisses her. When the girl sees his family she screams and runs out the door. Manny runs up to his room. Gloria goes up to try and coax him out and when she finally succeeds her water breaks. She goes into labor and everyone gathers to welcome a baby boy into the family.

Haley, meanwhile, is dating a much older guy (Kenny, the jeans designer, played hilariously by Rafi Jason Mantzoukas) which of course really bothers Phil who wants nothing more than to punch him. But Claire reassures him that they have to wait it out. At the last second Phil is pushed to far and threatens to go after them, but Haley overhears the conversation and gets what she wanted: affirmation that her parents care.

Lily spends the whole episode snubbing Cam, who keeps accidentally injuring her. Mitchell mistakes it for Cam feeling like things are going too well at work, but really it’s just that he doesn’t want Lily to feel she is being neglected.

Best/Funniest Moments

  • Lily getting into a “car accident”
  • Gloria and Jay stealing the cake
  • Phil not realizing Haley is dating the older guy


Phil: These jeans just slipped on me so perfectly, my name must be “Pantserella.”

Luke: And the birthday video becomes a nature film.

Cam: We always knew there was a chance she’d be a bad driver.


Claire, Phil, Gloria, Jay and Fulgencio

Is someone getting married?

It’s time to christen the baby, which really just means its time for a visit from the relatives we haven’t met. Gloria’s mom (Pilar, played by Elizabeth Peña) and sister (Soma, played by Stephanie Beatriz ) are visiting and while Soma diligently scrubs the house, does the laundry and cooks, Gloria’s mom argues about what the baby will be names and waves a gun at Jay while professing she never really liked him. While Gloria shows sympathy for her sister, we also realize there is some guilt mixed in with that. Apparently, Gloria stole her life, which comes to blows at the church, when Gloria offers to help her sister out and have her come live in America. A new cast member? This could be interesting. And Jay, compromises on the name, choosing the first name that Gloria’s mom wanted, Fulgencio, and giving him the middle name Joseph.

While Claire is out running errands for the christening, all the kids have issues they need her to solve. Phil offers to help, but none will let him. So he goes behind their backs and makes things worse, until he steps up to the plate as godfather and gets the results everyone needed.

Cam and Mitchell are making an effort to be less snarky because Lily has been doing a lot of back-talking and poking fun. Their effort to be good parents gets them uninvited to the party of year. And then they realize it’s not their snarkiness that has Lily biting, it’s Claire’s.

Best/Funniest Moments

Phil: Is there some kind of dress code for Godparents?
Claire: You’re not wearing a fedora Phil.

Claire: You have an in law who no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, you can’t win over.
Jay: What about it?
Claire: Oh that doesn’t sound familiar?
Jay:You’re not saying.
Claire: Mmhmm, yeah I am.
Jay: Son of a bitch, I’m Phil!

Lily: Today ladies!


modern family recapping: new year’s eve

previously on modern family: diamond in the rough

It’s no surprise that the Dunphy/Pritchett wants to have a good New Year’s Eve; everyone wants to have a good New Year’s Eve. So much pressure on one night! Jay has made arrangements for all the grown-ups, while all the kids with stay at the Dunphy’s house under the watch of Haley, but really Alex.

Phil, Claire, Cam, Mitchell

That’s so funny, you are soooo funny!

Jay booked the adults a swanky hotel in Palm Springs, well what maybe once was a swanky hotel in 1975. They arrive and Phil and Claire as well as Mitchell and Cam are disappointed though everyone is trying to hide it, as Jay rationalizes. Once safe in their rooms Mitchell and Cam and Phil and Claire secretly make other plans. The window opens as still very pregnant Gloria gets tired and needs to go lie down. Mitchell and Cam head off to a gay club, where they feel too old. Then head to a gay bar where they feel too young. Phil and Claire head to the hot spring their bell boy told them about. Claire is hoping to get some, since its been a month, but their party is crashed by the bell boy and his friends who are celebrating Nude Year’s Eve. Jay, who realizes he’s been abandoned ends up playing poker with Billy Dee Williams, yet they all end up back at their dinner table, enjoying each other’s company.

Haley and Alex on the other hand have their hands full with Luke, who has decided to put the moves on a girl. Neither know how to react, but both know they don’t want this to happen. They barge in his room with laundry and send the girl home. Haley discovers a new-found respect for her mom.

Best/Funniest Moments

  • The overcrowded hot tub
  • The too old gay bar vs the too young gay bar
  • Billy Dee mistaking Phil for Mitchell
  • Haley and Alex discovering Lily had been outside
  • Manny safely evading the friendzone

Manny: If you’re hungry for broccoli later, you’ll find a piece in your teeth.

Cam: Are you excited for your big sleepover with your cousins?
Lily: Who’s watching me?
Cam: Haley.
Lily: I’m serious.
Mitchell: Alex.
Lily: Okay let’s go.

Haley: I know how awesome college is, that’s how I got kicked out.

Tagged , ,
%d bloggers like this: