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revenge recapping: guilt

Emily and Lydia

I knew Lydia wasn’t gonna stay dormant for long. After blackmailing Conrad for that money and setting herself up nicely, I knew it was only a matter of time before she came back into the picture in a big way. And I was right. Queen Victoria finds out about Lydia’s blackmailing scheme and, naturally, is pissed. She wonders why Conrad didn’t tell her in the first place, but she already knew the answer to that, didn’t she?

Lydia then decides that she is going to take control of her life again. So she barges on over to Emily’s place, threatening to take the house back or else. Seems like a really dumb move to me. Forgetting the fact that Lydia doesn’t know just how dangerous Emily is, she has no allies. How does she expect anyone to take a threat she makes seriously without an army?

Emily and Daniel

Tyler is having a difficult time removing his mouth from Daniel’s parent’s asses (that’s how he gets his internship at Grayson’s Global and drags Daniel into it with him), but Tyler somehow manages and spills the beans about Daniel’s father’s affair, giving Daniel something to think about. Daniel finds his phone, which, if you remember, Tyler hid, and goes to talk to Emily. They make up and discover that Tyler did some scheming to keep them apart. Daniel confronts Tyler who swears he had Daniel’s best interest at heart. But I don’t buy it for a second. We’ll see how this unfolds.

Queen Victoria is trying to spend time with Charlotte to make up for what she heard and maybe to prove that is wasn’t true. Call me crazy, but I’m choosing to believe that this woman really does love her children. Charlotte, unlike me, is doing just the opposite. In an act of rebellion she commandeers the car that her father sent her mother as an apology and drives to Declan. When she returns her mother gives her the car, and guess what, money can’t buy Charlotte. She takes the car but doesn’t give her forgiveness.

Lydia and Queen Victoria

We learn that in the wake of the plane crash that Emily’s father was framed for, Q.V. felt so guilty that she started a charity to help the victim’s families and the families of the victims of terrorism all over the world. Every time someone mentions the charity, Q.V. squirms uncomfortably, guilt showing on her face. Though perhaps I can see it because I know, the people around her are most likely oblivious. Although maybe she was squirming because Lydia walked in on the ladies lunch and forced Q.V. to pretend nothing was wrong. Appearances matter waaayyyy too much to these people, but I guess it helps to move the plot, so I’ll have to accept it. When Emily mentions to Lydia that she sent some personal items over to Lydia’s place to placate her threats, Lydia reaffirms her threat to Emily.  I can’t help but notice how Q.V., who originally wanted to buy the house, is adamant that Emily not let it go, she forbids it in fact. Man she’s controlling.

Lucky for Lydia, she gets a lead. She finds Emily, with black hair, in the background of a picture of her and Q.V. waitressing. Lydia immediately begins to dig. Lydia’s discovery leads her to track down the catering companies from that New Year’s Eve party, Nolan after bugging Emily’s apartment with a camera hidden in a seal that ends up at Lydia’s house, catches on and warns Emily. Emily enlists his help, she wants him to get rid of the evidence. Problem is its only hardcopy, which is being faxed over to Lydia. Under Emily’s orders Nolan heads down there to get the fax, but the Grayson’s security man is already there, discovering all the planted facts that will lead him to believe Lydia was behind everything. He also discovers Lydia’s speech for the Grayson’s, which will expose them. QV makes a move and lies to Lydia claiming forgiveness, so Lydia won’t expose them in front of everyone. Lydia believes QV, foolishly. Afterwards though, QV lets her know that it was all a lie. Personally, I think it’s pretty outrageous for Lydia to think it’s possible for her and QV to be friends after what happened/continues to happen.

Declan and Charlotte

Charlotte and Declan get pulled over in Charlotte’s new car and end up getting arrested. I guess she was going pretty fast. Charlotte calls Daniel, who has been cut off from his father after revealing he doesn’t want to follow in his footsteps, and he and Emily go to pick up Charlotte at the station. Emily still doesn’t know whether Nolan has retrieved the fax. While they’re waiting for Charlotte and Declan to be released, Jack shows up. He looks a little surprised to see Emily with Daniel, but shakes it off. Emily looks like she didn’t want Jack to see this. Charlotte and Declan get released and Jack is worried about the cost. Daniel tells him not to worry about it. And when Jack says he owes him one, Daniel asks for a job.

Lydia returns to her apartment and find the Grayson’s security man waiting for her. There is a scuffle, that looks, at first, like it might be minor, until Frank starts choking Lydia. I realize she’s intent on destroying them, but really? Does he have to kill her? Apparently so, when she falls over the roof of her building Frank doesn’t even attempt to stop the fall.


Nolan gets into the apartment after Lydia has fallen and Frank has left. He hears sirens outside and goes up to the roof where he sees Lydia lying on a cab, dead. He quickly grabs the things he needs including the seal that had the hidden camera, and leaves. He calls Emily frantically but she doesn’t pick up, Daniel has taken her to bed and she can’t be disturbed right now.

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modern family recapping: hit and run

Phil and Claire

Remember that guy who didn’t get ice cream cake last week? Well he’s back this week, and he’s running for reelection. Though frankly, I don’t think I’d want someone who spits out perfectly good birthday cake running for my town council. But since he pissed Claire off last week when he didn’t give her the stop sign she wanted, he proves to be a good antagonist. Claire decides to run against him. Though she’s worried about who will take care of the kids, Phil valiantly steps in. Haley, meanwhile, is hitting up her siblings for $900. Alex wants to help her out, but doesn’t have the money. Luke has the money, but its all in frozen assets, which, in his mind, means its concealed in an ice cube in the freezer.

Claire goes to register for the race for town council, but gets psyched out when she runs into her opponent. Phil during his first day on the job as official caretaker for the kids, punches Luke and drugs Alex, while Claire finds out about Haley’s money issue. When Claire gets to her dad’s house, Phil is trying to hold Alex upright and Luke is telling a story about how he ran into the stairs. Claire sees right through it of course, not that Phil needed much pressure to spills the beans anyway. Haley confesses about taking money from her friends to get them all fake ids, but it was a scam and now she has to get her friends’ money back.

Mitchell and Cam are at the movies, apparently seeing something gruesome and violent, when a father walks in with his two young kids. Cam is outraged and confronts the father. He won’t let it go, despite Mitchell’s plea. Eventually, they get kicked out of the theater which was going to be showing the muppet movie, not a scary movie that was unsuitable for children. On their way home they get rear ended, can’t help but appreciate the irony in their surprise. The man in the other car goes to get his insurance information and high tails it out of there. Cam wants to chase him like a man, but Mitchell refuses, so instead he settles for running after him like a girl.

Jay is trying to sell a closet design to a young punk kid who wants to be wowed. Gloria wants to help but he cuts her off, not wanting to bother her with his problems, especially since she’s making dinner for the whole family. Manny, who is trying to do a school project on the Mafia, also refuses Gloria’s help. She’s not too happy about being left out.

Men on a Mission

When the family gets to Jay and Gloria’s house for dinner, the men are all seething from their respective problems. They decide to go after the guy who scammed Haley together. Leaving the women behind gives Gloria the chance she’s been looking for. She gets to help Claire with her decision to run for town council. Claire decides to run, despite her fear of losing. And, with all four of them working together, the men are able to take down the guy who scammed Haley and get her money back.

They arrive home triumphant, giving Haley her money as she tries to wiggle out of being punished by claiming remorse. Phil sees right through it and punishes her anyway. Claire knows that Phil can handle the kids without her. Mitchell realizes that occasionally taking action is the right route, and people shouldn’t always just remain inactive. Claire urges Jay to let Gloria help him, because she’s a huge asset. Jay sees Claire’s point and he has Gloria present the closet idea to his young punk client, wowing him with her huge assets in full view.

Best Quotes of the Night:

Gloria: “Really Manny, you want me to learn you English?”

Gloria: “I have all the answers!”

Phil: “If you wanna fly I’m not gonna hold your feet to the ground, I’m gonna be the one to push you off the cliff.”

Phil: “I admit it, I’m turned on by powerful women, Michelle Obama, Condoleezza Rice, Serena Williams…wait a minute.”

Luke: “It’s in a block of ice. I got the idea when I heard a bunch of rich guys talking about their frozen assets. Haha assets.”

Cam: “He wasn’t armed he had a Hilary sticker”

Cam: (on his way to the car)“Shotgun!”
Mitchell: “No, no weapons!”

Mitchell: “Fine,I’ll see you in jail. It will be a big adjustment for two of you.”

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desperate housewievs recapping: watch while i revise the world

At some point during last night’s episode I realized I was writing down what was going to happen before it did. This doesn’t make me psychic, but it does speak volumes about the depressingly predictability of this episode. We may be moving along with this eighth and final season, it’s just too bad that there’s (mostly) nothing major happening. I’ll take this as my punishment for watching and loving (yes, still) a show that over-stayed its welcome.


Guilt can make people do bizarre things, including pushing two opposites together in a strange way. Carlos and Susan share an unspoken bond over what they’re feeling, and everything about their situation alludes to a budding romance. As they returned from their accidental midnight stroll, Mike was watching and spent the rest of the episode wondering what exactly was going on between his wife and close friend.

When Carlos asked Susan to lunch she told him she couldn’t because it might be too intimate. Somehow the level of intimacy was just fine when he went out of his way to do community service with her. Mike eventually caught the two and punched Carlos in the face, but not before the two realized the feelings that were developing. Given all that transpired this episode, anything budding between them may have been sufficiently nipped. But will Gaby find out about what almost happened?

Bree and Gaby

Gaby’s storyline was intrinsically connected to Bree and her relationship with Chuck. When Bree failed to end things with her detective beau, she had to explain things to Gaby and sure enough, the two concocted a plan to find out whether or not Chuck was the one who sent the letter. During the snooping, Bree found a picture of her hand and an envelope with her name on it. Although the evidence pointed to one thing, it was pretty obvious that Chuck wanted to propose.

After the requisite Desperate Housewives style sneaky antics, Bree and Chuck eventually end up at dinner. When Bree finds out that Chuck plans to propose, she realizes she has to break up with him. Chuck’s reaction to being dumped by the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with was natural…but also a little disturbing. Does he have anger issues? If so, are they one of the reasons his wife began sleeping with his former partner?

Rene and Lee

My first thought: “Why in the hell would Lee come to Rene of all people to take his daughter shopping for bras?!” She’s not one of the more maternal women of Wisteria Lane…something she immediately points out. Regardless, Rene jumps right into the pseudo-mommy role, much to Lee’s chagrin.

Jenny, Lee and Bob’s daughter, enjoys doing “girly” things with Rene, which she expresses she can’t do with her daddy. After a mini-blowup, Rene convinces Lee that he’s a great dad and that Jenny is very lucky. Aside from speaking on some of the hurdles that come with adoption, this storyline didn’t really do anything. We already knew last season that Rene had feelings of emptiness about not having kids. Maybe we’ll see more of Rene and Jenny spending time together. Will this all play out with Lee, Bob and Rene (aka a few of the show’s severely under utilized characters) getting more screen time?


Lydia, Lynette’s loopy sister, came to visit. Lynette was prepared to greet her sister and help her recover from whatever emotional disaster she’d found herself in. Unfortunately for Lynette, Lydia is happily engaged and has come to help her big sister deal with her own crappy life and issues with Tom.

One thing we’ve learned about Lynette is that she can’t handle seeing someone she loves have any success if she’s not having her own (i.e., Bree in season five). Another thing we’ve learned over the past eight years is that Lynette has never been the “warm and gooey” type. The impact of her own separation and seeing her sister in a healthy relationship brings out the bitch in Lynette, something she doesn’t realize she’s even doing until AFTER she breaks up their engagement.

Of course she goes to repair things and all is right again. But at some point Lynette’s going to move past simply addressing her issues and actually doing something to fix them…right? It’s frustrating seeing her do all of this horrible stuff to her nearest and dearest relationships, only to have these annoying moments of introspection in hindsight. Is it too much to ask that all of this is a great setup for her genuinely working on her issues and winning Tom back?

Major Shockers

Carlos and Susan told Mike about why they’ve really been so secretive. Mike didn’t take it well, but this was probably due to his wife lying to him. I think once he has time to move past that particular, he’ll be way more understanding.

Bree dumps Chuck. Chuck gets angry. But not “my girlfriend dumped me angry” more like “I’m going to make you regret this because maybe I know a few of your secrets”. I genuinely didn’t see the breakup coming, but I don’t think it bodes well for Bree and company getting away with murder.

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revenge recapping: betrayal

Power Struggle

It’s nice to know that Emily is actually human. A lot of the time when she’s being charming, lovely, innocent, fake Emily, she’s much more likable than when she’s scornful bitter Emily (not saying that she doesn’t have a right to be so). This is something the writer’s may have to rectify at some point. But anyway, the episode opens with a dream, well maybe a nightmare is more like it, Emily is found out by Queen Victoria and the FBI swoops in. I’ll overlook the fact that there is no reason for the FBI to be swooping in just because Q.V. now knows that Emily is actually Amanda. Still, its a vulnerable moment for Emily, that is until she whips out a gun at the sound of something on her porch, which turns outs to be Sammy the adorable stalker golden retriever.

Random question: How come every time Q.V. is on the phone she is creepily watching Emily?…..

Emily, returning Sammy back to Jack and Declan, finds out that the Porter boys’ dad has passed away, very sad. Well for Jack and Declan, but it doesn’t really effect the show much so carry on. Declan is mad about the last thing he ever said to his father (he called him a loser), so naturally he takes his anger out on his father. He broods through the wake, during which Nolan shows up and buys a couple rounds for the bar. They refuses to join Jack in spreading his dad’s ashes out at seas. Your big bro is right Declan, you’re going to regret that.

Victoria and David

Senator Kingsley is Emily’s next victim. He was the prosecutor in the case against her father and apparently he moved forward with the case even after learning that Q.V. had evidence that would exonerate David. Yeah, so I’m a little confused….which I suppose is only natural since we’re learning things on an as-needed basis…..but wasn’t Q.V. the one who turned David in, with all the evidence that was rigged to convict him? Did she have second thoughts because she really did love him (which we find more about in a flashback)? Or was it Mr. Grayson who had a heavier hand in David’s conviction? IDK, I guess we’ll have to keep watching to find out.

Emily and Daniel’s relationship is continuing steadily and Emily’s plot with Daniel thickens (though it’s unclear where she is headed) when they go to lunch and one of the waiters at the restaurant is clearly upset with Daniel, and probably not over a lousy tip, since he bashes Daniel’s windshield in. Daniel reveals he got into a drunken car accident with the waiter’s sister, broke her spine (though she wasn’t paralyzed). He never apologized but his parents did give her a hefty pile of cash. Emily prompts Daniel to apologize, claiming he’ll feel better about it. Q.V. catches word because, like any normal parent, she is having her son followed. She reprimands him but Daniel thanks Emily and, quite out of no where, pledges to always be honest with her. I hope the guilt that dripped from Emily’s face didn’t stain her shoes.

Side note: Daniel’s roommate is a Tool. Ashley steer clear.

Declan seeking revenge on Adam, Charlotte’s tool of a boyfriend (what is it with the super wealthy and being d-bags?), gets help from Nolan who hacks Adam’s webcam. Sure enough the tool cheats on Charlotte. But Declan, being the smartie pants that he is, doesn’t send Charlotte that video. Instead he sends her a video of his head obstructing the view of a sunset, but it was a nice gesture. And sure enough, I bet when the cheating video gets out, Charlotte will run into Declan’s sunset soaked arms.

Emily’s plan for Senator Kingsley apparently started way back when she bought the building that his mistress lived in, giving her access to video footage of him entering the building, traveling up to a certain floor and kissing a woman hello, and getting busy with his mistress who got pregnant and was supposed to abort the baby. But when she shows up at the party, which I presume Emily invited her to, she is still with child. The senator announces that he will not be running for reelection and Emily reveals (to us, not the senator) that the videos will be given to the media regardless. His life will be officially destroyed.

Then, in an odd scene that embodies the Q.V. Emily power struggle perfectly, Emily tells Mrs. Grayson good night, then asks if she would mind being called Victoria. Q.V. looks like she would mind a great deal, but concedes that it would be alright. Q.V. knows there is something fishy about Emily, and there is, but she’s 3 for 3 with no one even catching on….I think it’ll take a little longer for Q.V. to discover her dirty little secret.

Best Foreboding quote of this episode:

Nolan: You scare me.
Emily: Good.

I suspect that although Nolan has been a good ally thus far, these two may eventually butt heads.

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revenge recapping: trust

As we learned last week, Emily (aka Amanda) is seeking revenge against the people who betrayed her father, throwing him in jail, where he eventually died, and ruining Emily’s entire childhood. Starting on the outskirts with the people who were ancillary characters in the plot against her dad and working her way in to Queen Victoria and the rest of the Grayson family, Emily is doling out healthy servings of justice.

Last week, she took down Lydia Davis, Queen Victoria’s best friend who was also sleeping with her, Queen Victoria’s, husband. Emily’s efforts resulted in Lydia’s exile from the Hamptons, apparently the worst thing that could ever happen to these Hampton socialites, besides probably losing their money.

This week, Emily has her sights set on a man she used to refer to as Uncle Bill, a man who likes his bets, which the show poignantly tells us by zooming in on the dice he apparently always carries, like a weirdo. At a Polo game (apparently people actually still play Polo) Emily gets herself introduced (or reintroduced) to Bill, claiming a bet he offered to the Grayson’s and seeking a place to invest her fortune. Bill takes the bait and sets up a meeting, we can only assume based on her brooding looks, that she will be ruining his life much in the same way she ruined Lydia’s. Emily takes time at the game to continue her flirtation with Daniel Grayson, giving Queen Victoria the chance to deliver an obvious yet vindictive response to the question “Why are you so interested in Emily Thorne?” Queen Victoria’s answer “Because she’s interested in my son!” Oh the unsuspecting Queen, taking the perfectly planted bait from Emily’s well-cast pole.

In the meantime, we’re taken to the story of the only poor family in this show, but honestly how poor can they actually be? I mean they are in the Hamptons. Jack Porter, being the good son that he is, is giving up his dreams of sailing around the world and selling his refurbished and beautifully restored sailboat to Nolan Ross (Emily’s only ally and the only person who knows she is Amanda), to help his father save the bar/restaurant they own. Nolan strikes a deal with Jack: in exchange for his friendship and some sailing lessons, he’ll return the boat back to Jack at the end of the summer. Jack is shocked, but obviously takes the deal, he already lost one Amanda he isn’t prepared to lose another, (Amanda is the name of his boat). Declan, Jack’s younger brother, seems to have his eye on Charlotte Grayson, which can only lead to trouble as Charlotte’s obviously controlling d-bag of a boyfriend reads a text and goes to beat Declan up like a man, with three of his friends holding Declan down.

Emily, her plan in motion, meets with Bill in his office to discuss her investment portfolio. While there she eyes his security badge and the list of his top investors. I sense a scheme of breaking and entering coming on! Queen Victoria, stupidly hanging onto Emily’s bait as Emily fiercely reels her in, calls Emily and invites her to tea. It’s at this tea that Emily reveals she’s won the bidding war for Lydia’s house (which apparently Queen Victoria put on the market last week, I guess she really does have power over all those who reside in the land), Queen Victoria is shocked, having thought she had placed the highest bid. Lucky for Emily, Nolan is a true friend with impressive hacking skills and bought the name in Emily’s name. It’s also at this tea that Daniel and Emily set an official date. I’m absolutely loving the sly and unsuspecting way Emily is outsmarting Queen Victoria.

Emily and Nolan

With a strategically placed hug from a strategic person (Nolan), Emily joins Bill for lunch and tells him to put all his money on Alcon Cellular because of what a little birdie (Nolan) told her about a major merger. Bill proceeds to sink all his clients money into this company and when the merger turns out to have been false information, which Nolan reveals via iPad (ooo technology these days), Bill loses over $2 billions worth of assets for his clients. He has no plans to tell any of his customers, but luckily for him Emily is already on the job. After breaking and entering into his office earlier (the scheme is revealed!) and printing out the secret list of his top clients, (I’m seriously interested in her impressive skills and where she learned them), she is able to contact all of them. Hook line and sinker, Emily got her man.

Emily’s date with Daniel, a picnic on the beach, is adorably sweet and romantic. They talk a bit about their families and Emily reveals that both her parents, though loving great people, are dead. Daniel reveals that Emily should be prepared for the worst from his mother, like she couldn’t already tell. At the end of the night, when they’re just about to have a proper end to a proper date with a proper good night kiss, a large group of people jump out and yell surprise! Emily, though taken aback and probably P.O.ed that a wrench was thrown in her plans with Daniel, recovers smoothly and forces a smile. Nolan shows up to the welcome to the Hamptons/house warming party with his newly purchased bestie, Jack, which annoys Emily, but doesn’t stop her from having a short and wistful conversation with Jack that leaves her pining. When the party is over, Emily and Daniel get their good night kiss. Did I detect a slightly fearful look from Emily? Is she maybe getting feelings for this boy?

Queen Victoria’s P.I. and head of security reveals to her that upon further investigation (what doting mother doesn’t send a P.I. to investigate potential girlfriends for her son) there is a gap in Emily’s otherwise squeaky clean record. Victoria finally has the proof she needs that Emily is a flawed human being and therefore cannot be right for her son. Queen Victoria may be right about that, but as anyone can plainly see, no one is more flawed than the Queen herself.

The episode closes with Emily lighting a single candle on a cupcake with pink frosting and wishing Amanda “Happy Birthday”.
This show is moving very quickly, which makes me wonder how they’ll stretch it out beyond one season, but I’m sure they’ll think of something and they better because they more I watch the more addicted. Maybe, now that things are snowballing quickly and people are becoming hooked, they’ll slow the episodes down as Emily attempts to tackle her bigger foes.

Best Foreboding Quote of the Episode comes from Lydia, who while standing on the street corner gets picked up by a black town car. Lydia says “Thanks for picking me up on the street corner like a prostitute.” Then in true prostitute fashion she demands money from Conrad Grayson, as reparation from their affair. Way to forebode exactly what you were going to do, and turn yourself into a prostitute. Kudos.

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