Tag Archives: America’s Kidz Got Singing

30 rock recapping: standards and practices and st. patrick’s day

Previously on 30 Rock: Alexis Goodlooking and the Case of the Missing Whiskey

Never let anyone tell you that this week’s episode will be a repeat! Always find out for yourself. I learned that the hard way and now you’re getting a 2 for 1 30 rock deal! Sweet!

Standards and Practices

Jack and Kaylie

It’s the America’s Kidz Got Singing season finale and everyone is really excited, including Hank Hooper and his granddaughter Kaylie (Chloë Grace Moretz, Hit Girl has certainly grown up). Oh wait, no, Kaylie’s not excited she’s just a scheming bitch and still Jack’s nemesis. The finale is an utter failure, not in viewers, but because the American kidz got drunk and threw up on stage. Though it’s a bit more like reality, standards and practices and the FCC didn’t like it much.

Hank flies out to deal with the FCC while Jack digs to the bottom of it and finds Kaylie. Her actions had less to do with the show and more to do with her own teenage girl problems. How Jack followed her squeaky rant I’ll never know. Jack promises to help her, until he realizes she was faking it all along, he foils their meeting and she gets expelled. It’s only afterwards that he understands that’s what she wanted. I guess we’ll be seeing more of her.

Jenna and her kids

Jenna, in an effort to humanize her monstrous image had planned to cry on the final of AKGS, but missed her shot. She remembers making egg donations for money when she was younger. She contacts the donation place and realizes that she has six biological children. She gets rid of one because she’s not as pretty and awful as the rest. But eventually the kids turn on her and oust her because she’s too old. The ugly one, Judy comes back to say goodbye and they go get a cup of coffee.

Kenneth Crying

Liz and Kenneth are battling over the new standards. They argue and we learn that Kenneth can’t actually argue. When Liz has to use the men’s bathroom because the women’s room is being cleaned she overhears Kenneth crying and worrying about how he is ever going to do this job. “Kenneth Toilethole” encourages him and Liz later apologizes. But it’s too late, her scheme to have Tracy perform his lewd stand up comedy act is in place. Kenneth must save the day by bleeping. He succeeds, keeping the FCC at bay.

Best/Funniest Moments

  • Jack interrogating the AKGS finalists
  • Liz, Kenneth, and Kenneth TH at dinner.
  • Jack taking away Kaylie’s Lacrosse field.


Jack: “Whatever are you doing here, Kaylie Hooper?”
Kaylie: “Enjoying my total lack of adult supervision. I just had fruit roll ups for dinner…at a strip club.”

Kenneth: “I’m Kenneth by the way.”
Liz: “Me too. I’m Kenneth…Kenneth, uh, Toilet Hole.”

Jessica: “So we’re thinking the show’s more like The Girls Next Door, and you’re that old boat captain that shows up sometimes.”

Kaylie: “My mom is in Indonesia visiting her charity where poor children make shoes.”
Jack: “Isn’t that just a sweatshop?”

St. Patrick’s Day

Previously on 30 Rock: Standards and Practices (See above)

Jenna, Tracy, and Hazel

Jenna and Tracy are hosting the St. Patrick’s Day Parade and Hazel is failing in her attempts to control them. In reality she’s just making things worst and cracking under the pressure. Kenneth detects the tension and comes to the rescue. Jenna and Tracy talk about their fears and hug it out. Hazel is relieved and Kenneth tells her he’ll always be there. Tracy and Jenna close out the show holding hands and read host # 2’s line in unison.

Game playing

After playing the Colonizer’s of Mallar with the writers, a fantasy style monopoly game Jack is once again questioning his position at Kabletown. He flees to St. Patrick’s Cathedral to find some answers. The answer he finds is to light himself on fire and build something from nothing.

Dennis and Criss

Liz will not be celebrating St. Patrick’s day. Instead she and Criss will be staying home and wearing Orange. Jack however thinks that Liz should learn a St. Patrick’s Day lesson and curses her in Gaelic, which is why Dennis Duffy knocks on Liz’s door and creates a wedge between she and Criss. Liz assumes Dennis was out to get her back, but it turns out he’s married to an irish red head named Megan. Wearing the only green thing she owns, hulk hands, Liz rushes down to Criss’s hot dog stands and struggles a bit but eventually says she loves him.

Best/Funniest Moment

  • Jack cursing Liz
  • Dennis showing up at Liz’s house and throwing himself onto the couch
  • Liz and Criss yelling “Megan” out the window and laughing at the confusion.


Hazel: “I’m not about to screw this up Kenneth, ’cause I’d get kicked out of show business, and then how would I be famous? By starting a fire, and then rescuing everyone from it, and then I’m a hero, and then I’m in Playboy?”

Liz: “Dennis Duffy is like the Terminator with cheaper sunglasses.”

Frank: “None of the writers can go out on St. Patrick’s Day because we all have faces people naturally want to punch.”

Jack: “Unfortunately, unless Harry’s Law really took off this week and no one told me, you two are the biggest stars at the network.”

Kristen is a confused young adult who sometimes thinks TV shows are actually her life. Wouldn’t that be cool? Unless she was a victim on Dexter, or a deranged privileged teenager on gossip girl, or a wolf on teen wolf, or Liz Lemon! Never mind. It wouldn’t be cool. Kristen is a young adult. Follow her @kris10_Alyse or read frustrateddreamer.com

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30 rock recapping: dance like nobody’s watching

NBC has a new show. It’s called “America’s Kidz Got Singing” (actual spelling). According to Jack it’s a cash cow. Jenna is the bitchy one, who sings the kids nothing but insults, which she enjoys a little too much, but being inappropriate is Jenna’s thing. Liz Lemon is acting awfully cheerful. And everyone notices it. Tracy is pretty upset about it because her cheerfulness means she will not react to Tracy acting out. So obviously he follows her in order to get to the bottom of her new found happiness. Kenneth believes the world is going to end tomorrow and Liz, after quoting from a tampon box, gives him the day off to do everything he’s always wanted to do.  For Kenneth, this involves all the chores he’s never been able to do at TGS, including scraping a Chiquita banana sticker off the ceiling.

Liz Dancing Like Nobodys Watching

Jack, after watching Jenna insult a girl named Liddy (his daughter’s name), asks her to try and be nicer. It doesn’t work so Jack tells her to go back to being mean. Tracy follow Liz and decides that she must be a crack whore. He reports this to Jack who doubts it and as they go over the facts, Jack figures out that Liz has joined the WNBA dance squad. He believes the exercise is whatmaking her so cheerful, but when he drops her off at the movie theater he sees her kissing another man. It seems Jack doesn’t know Liz as well as he thought, or was there a hint of jealousy in his eyes? Kenneth decked out in lime green spandex, a large white t-shirt that say RAPTURE, and light up sneakers (fantastic touch, really) is ready to welcome the apocalypse. He is disappointed. And though Toofer, Lutz, and Frank, dressed up as black Jesus, Satan, and Santa (because he’s a religious figure), try to scare Kenneth, Pete scolds them all and takes them to see the ocean, which Kenneth has never seen before.

Best/Funniest Moments

  • Liz Flashing Jack her Dickie.
  • Kenneth’s cheerfully ignorant disposition on the apocalypse.
  • Jenna asking Tracy what nice people wear.
  • Tracy not wearing pants.
  • Jack’s sit down meeting with Liddy before her next appointment to read a book with sleepy bear.


Jenna: “Emma that was pretty good. You were trying to get me to commit suicide, right?”

Jack: “Next week Jay-Z was going to do a duet with one of the spinning chairs from The Voice, and the chair just pulled out.”

Jenna: “How do nice people dress?”
Tracy: “Socks on their hands, no belt, roller skates.”

Jack: “This thing’s a real cash cow, unlike Cash Cow, the NBC spinoff of Cash Cab. You try riding a cow through midtown Manhattan, Lemon. The animal will panic.”

Liz: “You’re a 42 year old man.”
Tracy: “No I’m not. I took a real age test. It said I’m dead.”

Kristen is a confused young adult who sometimes thinks TV shows are actually her life Wouldn’t that be cool? Unless she was a victim on Dexter, or a deranged privileged teenager on gossip girl, or a wolf on teen wolf, or Liz Lemon! Never mind. It wouldn’t be cool. Kristen is a young adult. Follow her @kris10_Alyse or read frustrateddreamer.com

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