Tag Archives: bar mitzvah

modern family recapping: mistery date

Previously on Modern Family: Arrested

Claire takes Alex, Luke, and Manny to Alex’s academic decathlon. Alex won last year and Claire has no problem boasting about it, until Alex gets her first question wrong and blames her mom. Luke and Manny are on their own mission to find the girl who checked Manny out in the lobby. She’ll be at one of three Bar Mitzvahs and with Luke’s expertise the two sneak into every party until Manny finds her. Before they can share in any moment he is asked to leave by security, but he asks her to meet him in the photo booth for one memento.

Phil, Dave and some margaritas

Margaritas are a straight man’s drink…right?

Claire is worried that Phil will be spending his time without the family all alone. But he assures her that’s not the case. He’s going to take the gym (aka the gay bar with dumbells) pass Cameron gave him and  probably invite some people over for the game. While at the gym he meets a fellow Fresno State Alumni, Dave (played by the wonderful Matthew Broderick) and invites him over to watch the game. Meanwhile Dave is on and off the phone with Cameron discussing getting back into the dating game. The night is one lascivious moment after another, but Phil is totally unaware until Dave gives him a kiss goodbye and thanks him.

Cameron, unwilling to shop according to someone’s registry, has commissioned a gift for Gloria and Jay, but it requires them to be out of the house for four hours. Unfortunately Gloria is tired and Jay is cranky. After a long lunch, Cameron continues to monopolize Gloria’s time, which she’s not happy about, until she sees the gift (a wall painting similar to the one of Mitchell and Cameron over Lily’s bed) and loves it.

Best/Funniest Moments

  • Claire boasting about being able to buy the two-day cushion
  • Phil taking Dave’s shirt off
  • Cam playing music for Gloria’s belly
  • Jay hugging the bunny.


Manny: “Luke I need you for this. You’re sneakier than I am, you a bigger liar, you have no moral compass.”
Luke: “Look thanks for all the compliments, but breaking into one stupid party? That’s not even a challenge.”

Gloria: “The baby kicked me all night. It’s either going to be a football player or a chorus girl.”
Cam: “You can be both. My senior year I was a right side linebacker and a left side cancan dancer in Gigi.”

Phil: “Phil Dunphy this is the year 2025, welcome, you’re the first one here.”

Manny: “I know this sounds crazy, but I feel like my whole life has led to this moment.”
Luke: “You made a very similar speech to get my mom to stop for those churros.”

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happy endings’ best quotes: boys II menorah

Previous Happy Endings Quotes: Sabado Free-Gante

“Max is bad at most things he does. I can’t believe I gifted him with my virginity.” – Penny


“I have always wanted to marry a Jewish guy. They’re, just like, so cool with their leather jackets and their jeans, and their ability to turn jukeboxes on and off by punching them. Okay, I’m just describing The Fonz.” – Penny


“You will be the hottest mixed race dance crew since Paula Abdul and MC Skat Kat. – Penny


“You saw him cramp up during the Horah and he was nowhere to be found when “Shout” came on. No one could get even the slightest bit louder and at no point could anyone get even at all softer.” – Penny


“I hear a fiddler on the roof! Let’s raise that roof!” – Max
“No! Don’t raise the roof! Don’t raise the roof, ’cause the roof is on fire! Don’t wanna burn those hands. I’m sure all the doctors in the crowd would agree, am I right?” –  Brad


“This is the invite? A fake plane ticket for ‘Love Airlines?'” – Dave
“Yeah, check out where she’s sitting. Your cockpit.” – Jane
“She’s your sister…but well done.” – Dave


“My Lasiks…MY ASICS!” –  Dave


“I’m gonna need to see your license, registration and proof of penis.” – Jane
“That is outrageous! I’m writing down your vag number.” Brad


Other notables:

  • In terms of quotes, this episode was pretty much the “Year of Penny.”
  • The Boys II Menorah music video, complete with its very own Fly Girls, was perfection.
  • And in case you’re ever in the mood to watch just the jokes from this episode: Thank you ABC!
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