Here’s what you missed on Glee: The New Rachel
Story
- Brittany begins to feel the woes of being held back for another senior year.
- Marley admits that she has a crush on Jake.
- Rachel shows Cassandra that she can be sexy.
- Shuester decides to have another “Britney Week” to perk up the New Directions.
- Puck returns to give Jake some (half) brotherly advice.
- Brody tries to take his relationship with Rachel to the next level.
If It Ain’t Broke…Well that usually applies, but this episode was an exception. The first Britney themed eppy was one of my favorite shows of the entire series so far. So when I heard that they were going back to the well–so to speak–I was more than skeptical about it. But the satirical tone in which it dealt with the parallels in Brittany S. Pierce and Britney Spears’ struggles to get back on top was a refreshing perspective. A rare occasion in which the sequel is actually comparable to the original.
Farewell Finn? Brody doesn’t seem to know how to stay away from Rachel and it doesn’t seem like Rachel is going to be able to hold on to what is left of her and Finn’s relationship with all the distance in between. It doesn’t help that she is going to be around Brody everyday at school while he’s being all sexy and sh**. Seriously though, is everyone named “Brody” a certified sex bomb?!
Speaking of Sexy: We all know Glee can teeter on the inappropriate from time to time but after this eppy I wondered if the show got moved from Tuesday at 8ET/7CT to Thursday 9ET/8CT because things are going to start get a bit more…uh…is sultry to adult of a word? After seeing Rachel’s “sexy” performance and all the talk of “scissoring” and “lady love” I thought it was a solid question to ask.
Unwanted Observation: Wade looks much better as “Unique”. I just can’t un-see that. Or un-type it for that matter. You’re welcome.
Blonde Besties: Thank you, Sam. I can’t bear to see Brittany sad for extended periods of time and I hope that you are going to help me with that issues going forward. Since Santana isn’t around maybe it’ll give Brittany another partner within the glee club. Maybe it can go further than that but I’ll settle for the simple things at the moment.
Music
Hold It Against Me (Brittany and the Cheerios) Unlike Sue, I didn’t think this performance was “garbage wrapped in skin.” I didn’t love it, but nothing is every quite deserving of her harsh critiques. Obviously the Cheerios hired a new choreographer over the summer, which was evident by how much better their dancing is this year. Song-wise I would have preferred to open with a Britney classic, but as Artie noted later in the episode, they were kind of running out of solid material to use. Oh well, still a decent opener. (B)
Boys / Boyfriend (Artie and Blaine) If THIS was the result of what happened when they realized they were running out of Britney material, I couldn’t have been happier. Boys is a throwback to Britney when she was in the ‘woman’ portion of her former “I’m not a girl, not yet a woman” phase and Boyfriend is Bieber leaving behind his bangs and entering the Justified era of his career. Saying this was one of the highlights on TV this week for me is severely downplaying things (seriously, I squealed like I was watching N*Sync at Madison Square Garden when I realized what was happening). Now, you couple all that with Blaine and then add Artie, who does anything even remotely R&B-ish (here, that would be Boyfriend) with complete ease and you have what was my favorite performance of the evening. (A+)
Womanizer (Unique, Tina and Marley) Sometimes I can watch Glee and ignore the ridiculousness and then there’s times where you have a group of girls dancing and following other students around the school and getting up leaving class to follow girls and even a gym class doing full-on, Olympic gymnastics. Those are the times I get slightly annoyed with how completely unrealistic the scene is and wish they’d just do a dream sequence or something. Outside of that scene itself, Unique and Tina sounded really good. This wasn’t a highlight for Marley, but it did set the stage for her and Jake, which will eventually be known as a really bad and heartbreaking idea. (C)
3. (Joe, Tina and Sam) Did Joe not understand the symbolism in this song’s lyrics? Maybe the laid-back, folksy sound confused him and the chorus made him think the song was a tribute to Peter, Paul and Mary. Regardless, this version was far superior to the original. It was nice to see Glee get a little creative instead of just doing a bland cover. In terms of performance, none of the three out-shined the others, but Tina was my favorite. If she’s this good two episodes in, I can wait to see her later in the season. (A)
(You Drive Me) Crazy / Crazy (Marley and Jake) I once heard a mash-up of Britney’s Crazy with Gnarls Barkley’s Crazy, but it was right after she went a little nuts, so the sentiment was a little depressing as a fan. However, this was stripped down and played to Jake’s strengths, which include sounding good and looking soulful while singing. Although their voices had tons of chemistry, I wasn’t really feeling it between them, and I know this because I wasn’t screaming at the television, begging them to kiss at the end. But it’s not about that. It’s about the music and musically, they’re already well on their way to being the New Direction’s next “it couple.” (A)
Oops….I Did It Again (Rachel) This is why trying to keep a show that’s supposed to be centered around a glee club bouncing back and forth between two different states, schools and general energy may not work. It’s about knowing your characters people! Rachel wouldn’t pick Spears, let alone this song, as a way to demonstrate her sexy. And if for some reason she did, she would have done the laying down scene from the video for authenticity. Unfortunately (and also very fortunately), the sexiest part of this performance was the curly-haired girl doing the split between the tables. While Rachel killed it in terms of sound, which she always does, she’s had much sexier moments back in Lima. (B)
Gimme More (Brittany and the New Directions) You can only truly appreciate this whole scene if you vividly recall the 2007 VMAs. The writers clearly knew there was no way they were topping last year’s Annual Fall Assembly performance, so instead they failed in the best way possible. I’m giving this such a high mark because it was hilarious. (A)
Everytime (Marley) It was pretty obvious when this song came out that it was about Spears’ breakup with Justin Timberlake. I think I had that long and dramatic relationship in mind when I watched Marley perform this, because all I could think about was how it was way too soon for her to be this over-the-top about Jake. Brittany sadly waiting for Santana to become available on iChat and Rachel painting over her Finn “artwork” was a good backdrop, but overall, this song would have garnered a stronger emotional connection if we’d believed Marley was truly heartbroken and not just a little crushed. I hope they don’t overplay everything early in the season, it would be such a waste of her obvious potential. (B)
Quotes
“My name is Brittany S. Pierce, and I finally know how Jesus feels in his house way up at the top of the North Pole, because I am on top of the world.” – Brittany…not quite understanding how voice-overs work
“Tough love feels a lot like mean.” – Brittany
“I’m not speaking to you, I know you joined a gang.” – Brittany to Lord Tubbington (outfitted in a vest and glasses)
“Well thanks, but I don’t really have much time. After school, I’m hopping into bed, eating cashews and bacon, and then watching the Client List Marathon.” – Brittany
“Kiki is Suri’s smart older cousin who is really jealous of how famous Suri’s gotten. She lives inside this super cheap phone I found at the laundry mat.” – Brittany
“Well, my voice is too weak to sing live. I’ve been up every night this week yelling at the shrubs in my yard that have been yelling at me.” – Brittany
“You’re late and dressed like a Walgreen’s underwear model.” – Cassandra
“He never told me about you when I was a kid, but I do remember my mom and dad arguing about some slut waitress…” – Puck, who had a threesome at 7 and once beat up a police horse
“That’d be my mom.” – Jake
“I think we just think the same.” – Sam
“Yeah, it’s probably because we’re both blond.” – Brittany
“I got a C- on my US History exam, which the teacher bumped up two whole letter grades because I wrote in English instead of my secret language I invented in middle school.” – Brittany
“Did that come out this morning? Because we scraped the bottom of that Britney barrel.” – Artie
tvdinner&amovie 
