Tag Archives: happy endings quotes

happy endings’ best quotes: more like stanksgiving

Previous Happy Endings Quotes: Boys II Menorah

“Classic Penny over-think, come help me set the table you brainy bitch.” – Alex

———-

“Oh, I see you’ve moved from an outside my car to a more inside my car situation.” – Dave

———-

“You, who focus on 15/16ths of a man.” – Dave

———-

“If that season had aired, I would’ve been the first openly gay person on television.”– Max
“Except for Ellen, Rosie, all the career high guys.” – Jane
“Oh and Norman Korpi from the Real World season one.” – Penny
“Deep cut.” – Max

———-

You were gonna hook-up with booty chin Jared? He had a booty on his chin!”- Brad

———-

“It was 2002; It was such a crazy time! We were all still reeling from the events of Vanilla Sky. I mean, what is reality?” -Penny
“I am so tired of people using Vanilla Sky to defend everything.” – Alex

———-

“Dude, you just sneezed right in my mouth. I need some hand sani’ for my face!” – Brad

———-

“Bussa Bust? Why don’t you throw your hands where my eyes can see, which would be in my sink doing my dishes.” – Max

———-

“You don’t want to make me angry, dude, cause when I get angry, I get naked, and when I get naked, I fight.” – Brad

———-

Other notables (and there are quite a few!):

  • I’m sure I wasn’t the only one who thought the Rock Bottom Remainders was fictional. Turns out, it’s very real.
  • Of course Jane would use a real turkey to sculpt her ice turkey. Ever the perfectionist.
  • Dave is still very much into being 1/16th Navajo. I love continuity.
  • And speaking of…Nava-Ho Hos, the timing of this joke was perfect as well as bittersweet (R.I.P. Hostess).
  • Penny’s ‘Rachel’. I’m sorry but if this Real World: Sacramento was filmed in 2002, there’s no way you’re convincing me she was still that dedicated to a look from 1994. Puh-lease.
  • Alex’s ‘eye-open napping’ was creepy. Hilarious, but creepy.
  • Jane’s failed attempt to find and hook-up with Jared reminded me more of Snooki on Jersey Shore than any seasons I can recall from Real World.
  • Dave’s Navajo name is “Has Ordeals with Clams”. Not good, but better than Lindsey, I suppose.
  • And in case you’re ever in the mood to watch just the jokes from this episode: Thank you ABC!
Tagged , , , , ,

happy endings’ best quotes: boys II menorah

Previous Happy Endings Quotes: Sabado Free-Gante

“Max is bad at most things he does. I can’t believe I gifted him with my virginity.” – Penny

———-

“I have always wanted to marry a Jewish guy. They’re, just like, so cool with their leather jackets and their jeans, and their ability to turn jukeboxes on and off by punching them. Okay, I’m just describing The Fonz.” – Penny

———-

“You will be the hottest mixed race dance crew since Paula Abdul and MC Skat Kat. – Penny

———-

“You saw him cramp up during the Horah and he was nowhere to be found when “Shout” came on. No one could get even the slightest bit louder and at no point could anyone get even at all softer.” – Penny

———-

“I hear a fiddler on the roof! Let’s raise that roof!” – Max
“No! Don’t raise the roof! Don’t raise the roof, ’cause the roof is on fire! Don’t wanna burn those hands. I’m sure all the doctors in the crowd would agree, am I right?” –  Brad

———-

“This is the invite? A fake plane ticket for ‘Love Airlines?'” – Dave
“Yeah, check out where she’s sitting. Your cockpit.” – Jane
“She’s your sister…but well done.” – Dave

———-

“My Lasiks…MY ASICS!” –  Dave

———-

“I’m gonna need to see your license, registration and proof of penis.” – Jane
“That is outrageous! I’m writing down your vag number.” Brad

———-

Other notables:

  • In terms of quotes, this episode was pretty much the “Year of Penny.”
  • The Boys II Menorah music video, complete with its very own Fly Girls, was perfection.
  • And in case you’re ever in the mood to watch just the jokes from this episode: Thank you ABC!
Tagged , , , ,

happy endings’ best quotes: sabado free-gante

Previous Happy Endings Quotes: Cazsh Dummy Spillionaires

“Are we gonna see any Jackson Five’s tonight? Yep. Are we gonna see any marionettes? Most def’. Are we gonna see any Mos Defs? I wouldn’t know it if we saw it, but I can guarantee we are going to be the only marionette Jackson Five.” – Jane

———-

“Well, since Brad is not working, we’ve had to cut back a little bit. We were spending five grand a month on ‘of the month’ clubs.” – Jane
“How much could you really spend on…” – Dave
“Tea of the month. Cigar, beer, soap, months.” – Jane
“Month of the month?” – Penny
“Yeah, August was March.” – Jane
“I miss ‘time of the month’ club the most. Don’t worry, it’s not what you think. It’s a clock that tells you when your period is coming.” – Brad

———-

“Dave, I am going to miss you, paying all our rent. I mean half the rent. I mean, no one is getting scammed by anybody.” – Max

———-

“Well GFF…gay fat friend.” – Brad

———-

“Penny, this is about more than just a car, OK? This is about your life. You control your own destiny, like Katniss Everdeen in the Hunger Games.” – Jane
“Oh my god, I love those books. You read them too?!” – Penny
No, that stuff is for dorks, but I knew it would get you excited.” – Jane

———-

“This chandelier is gonna make it tough for chicken fights.” – Alex
“Do you guys have a lot of chicken fights?” – Suzanne
“Enough where it’s a real concern.” – Dave

———-

“There is no car czar.” – Jane
“No car czar? Then who knows what cars are?” – Penny
“Oh, my gullible chesty friend.” – Jane

———-

Other notables:

Tagged , , , , , ,

happy endings’ best quotes: cazsh dummy spillionaires

“That’s the least interesting pairing since chicken biscotti and pinot grig’.” – Max
“What?” – Penny, et. al
“Sorry, been watching a lot of Frasier.” – Max

———-

“Trust us, the last thing we want is for things to get complicated, like in It’s Complicated. So we’re just going to go with it, like in Just Go With It. And be friends with benefits, like in No Strings Attached.” – Alex

———-

“Now you go to work and make that money for poppa. I’ll just be here chillin’ all day. Thinkin’ about you, thinkin’ about me, thinkin’ about you…naked.” – Brad

———-

“OK bro-vine growth hormone, here’s to keepin’ it cazsh.” – Dave

———-

“Ooh, I hate to be this girl, but I do see some residual crust on that sandwich, and I thought that I made myself pretty crystal clear when I told you I wanted zero crust whatsoever because it hurts my teeth. Did you not feel I was clear?” – Penny

———-

“Well, two things you should know about me, Kent. I’m selfless and I’ve got moves like Jagger. Specifically the ones he allegedly used on David Bowie in the 70s.” – Max

———-

“It counts, I’ll tell you what doesn’t count, the Miami Heat’s most recent NBA championship. It was an injury-plagued, strike-shortened season. Therefore, Lebron still needs six rings to even get in the conversation with Jordan.” – Jane
“Are you done?” – Alex
“No. Also, Chris Bosh looks like one of Omar’s boyfriends from The Wire.” – Jane

———-

“…I was working with Sin-Brad for awhile. Getting pretty bad at it, which is how Sin-Brad says good because he’s got a 90s sensibility.” – Brad

———-

“Yes! Max, keep it cool, but you’re jazzed.” – Max (aka the internal monologue everyone has when they tell a particularly witty joke)

———-

“Mmm, Lunesta, nature’s Ambien.” – Max

———-

“Music’s pretty good huh? This is my one-man experimental band called Yoko Uno.” – Max

———-

Tagged , , ,
%d bloggers like this: