Tag Archives: Hazel

30 rock recapping: the shower principle

Previously on 30 Rock: Kidnapped by Danger

Liz consulting her diary

It’s tax season again, which means another year has gone by. While chatting with her accountant, Liz has a sudden revelation that nothing in her life ever changes. Last year she started to keep a journal, so in an effort to break the cycle she returns to her journal and is ready for everything that will happen. She interrupts and subdues Jenna before she starts freaking out. Last year Tracy forgot to do his taxes and on April 14 he started freaking out. So Liz reminded him to do his taxes, which lead to him having to go to Alaska for a side project. Her efforts to break the cycle are futile. Tracy still ends up in some crazy scheme to pay his taxes. Jenna still freaks out because someone is trying to sabotage her. But in the end Liz has one moment that has never happened before, when Jack admits that he needs her around.

Hazel and Jenna

Jenna, who isn’t freaking out at Liz, is worried about the curse of Macbeth. Any scene, skit, or theater production of Macbeth is apparently cursed so Jenna refuses to do it. Liz has Cerie do it, but when Cerie starts getting a lot of attention Jenna nobly steps back in. But then a light almost falls on her, her heel breaks, and a chair collapses when she sits in it. She thinks its the curse but Hazel confesses that its been her all along. She wants to be Liz’s best friend and she needs Jenna out of the picture. Silly Hazel, doesn’t she know Jenna will always be the craziest bitch at TGS. She can’t be out crazied.

Jack's Revelation

Jack, as we all know, has been frustrated with his role at Kabletown and the lack of growth it provides. When Hank Hooper makes the announcement that Kabletown turned  a large profit which they will be using to pay the shareholder’s dividends. Jack hates to see a profit wasted like that so he is using the shower principle to have a moment of genius. By distracting his brain with another task he hopes to find the perfect idea to pitch. Liz suggests that he meditate, but Jack thinks meditation is stupid. In a moment of desperation he tries it anyway and has his aha moment. Jack suggests that since they already contribute greatly to the relaxing experience of Americans with phone, internet, and cable services, that they start to make couches too. Hank agrees and Jack gets his opportunity for growth.

Best/Funniest Moments

  • Liz’s meditation session.
  • The guys putting the healthy food on the top shelf.
  • Hazel trying to sabotage Jenna.
  • Jack shooting the rats.

Quotes

Jack: “I once pants-ed Deepak Chopra while Craig T. Nelson taped it. I don’t meditate.”

Hazel: “Eyes down here, boys. I have breasts, you know?”

Liz: “I started eating the onion part of my onion rings.”
Jenna: “I don’t need any more bad luck. Do you know how many mirrors I’ve smashed because I thought it was a blonde woman mocking me?”

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30 rock recapping: grandmentor

Previously on 30 Rock: St. Patricks Day

Liz and Hazel

Liz has taken on Hazel (the hilarious Kristen Schaal) as a mentee, making Jack and grandmentor and he couldn’t be prouder. Hazel’s a little insane and Liz blinded by the love she has for her mentee doesn’t always see it. So she encourages things she probably shouldn’t, like telling Hazel not to listen to Kenneth when it come to Tracy. This leads to Hazel letting Tracy do whatever he wants, which is clearly not a good idea. The more Kenneth tries to interfere and help get Tracy back on track the more Hazel pushes him away. Liz does encourage Hazel to break up with her boyfriend Rosmig, but Hazel refuses. This, Jack informs Liz, is when she has to let Hazel fail in order to learn a lesson. Liz doesn’t agree, but accidentally lets Hazel fail anyway. Kenneth in order to get Tracy back on his meds does the only thing possible. He quits his job and enters the TGS Walk-On contest. While on stage and camera he brings Tracy back to reality. It’s an “awww” moment….kind of.

Jenna as Avery

Jack is unsettled by the lack of attention Avery’s predicament has been getting lately. To bring her back into the spotlight he is going to talk to Matt Lauer about the issue. Right before he is about to go on there is a mine explosion in China and all the miners, who were babies, need to be saved by puppies because they’re the only ones small enough to make it in. Jack’s interview is cancelled. Jenna suggests he produce a TV movie about Avery, that would  certainly get her back in the spotlight. Jack agree and begins casting. Jenna wants to play Avery but Jack won’t let her. She tries to trick him by showing up to his office, when it’s dark, and acting like Avery. Jack sees right through her trick, but also appreciates her ruthless pursuit of the role. The part is hers.

JAck, Liz, HAzel

Best/Funniest Moment

  • Pretty much any scene with Hazel
  • Tracy freaking out about how this is a show within a show
  • The Grandmentor, Mentor, Mentee group hug at the end

Quotes

Hazel: “What’s your problem?”
Kenneth: “Oh my well, my parents were technically brothers…”

Liz: “Do not write another sketch with Krang from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. No one knows who Krang is. It would be a waste of time to talk about Krang on television.”

Tracy: “My real name is Tracy Morgan!”
Kristen is a confused young adult who sometimes thinks TV shows are actually her life. Wouldn’t that be cool? Unless she was a victim on Dexter, or a deranged privileged teenager on gossip girl, or a wolf on teen wolf, or Liz Lemon! Never mind. It wouldn’t be cool. Kristen is a young adult. Follow her @kris10_Alyse or read frustrateddreamer.com
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30 rock recapping: standards and practices and st. patrick’s day

Previously on 30 Rock: Alexis Goodlooking and the Case of the Missing Whiskey

Never let anyone tell you that this week’s episode will be a repeat! Always find out for yourself. I learned that the hard way and now you’re getting a 2 for 1 30 rock deal! Sweet!

Standards and Practices

Jack and Kaylie

It’s the America’s Kidz Got Singing season finale and everyone is really excited, including Hank Hooper and his granddaughter Kaylie (Chloë Grace Moretz, Hit Girl has certainly grown up). Oh wait, no, Kaylie’s not excited she’s just a scheming bitch and still Jack’s nemesis. The finale is an utter failure, not in viewers, but because the American kidz got drunk and threw up on stage. Though it’s a bit more like reality, standards and practices and the FCC didn’t like it much.

Hank flies out to deal with the FCC while Jack digs to the bottom of it and finds Kaylie. Her actions had less to do with the show and more to do with her own teenage girl problems. How Jack followed her squeaky rant I’ll never know. Jack promises to help her, until he realizes she was faking it all along, he foils their meeting and she gets expelled. It’s only afterwards that he understands that’s what she wanted. I guess we’ll be seeing more of her.

Jenna and her kids

Jenna, in an effort to humanize her monstrous image had planned to cry on the final of AKGS, but missed her shot. She remembers making egg donations for money when she was younger. She contacts the donation place and realizes that she has six biological children. She gets rid of one because she’s not as pretty and awful as the rest. But eventually the kids turn on her and oust her because she’s too old. The ugly one, Judy comes back to say goodbye and they go get a cup of coffee.

Kenneth Crying

Liz and Kenneth are battling over the new standards. They argue and we learn that Kenneth can’t actually argue. When Liz has to use the men’s bathroom because the women’s room is being cleaned she overhears Kenneth crying and worrying about how he is ever going to do this job. “Kenneth Toilethole” encourages him and Liz later apologizes. But it’s too late, her scheme to have Tracy perform his lewd stand up comedy act is in place. Kenneth must save the day by bleeping. He succeeds, keeping the FCC at bay.

Best/Funniest Moments

  • Jack interrogating the AKGS finalists
  • Liz, Kenneth, and Kenneth TH at dinner.
  • Jack taking away Kaylie’s Lacrosse field.

Quotes

Jack: “Whatever are you doing here, Kaylie Hooper?”
Kaylie: “Enjoying my total lack of adult supervision. I just had fruit roll ups for dinner…at a strip club.”

Kenneth: “I’m Kenneth by the way.”
Liz: “Me too. I’m Kenneth…Kenneth, uh, Toilet Hole.”

Jessica: “So we’re thinking the show’s more like The Girls Next Door, and you’re that old boat captain that shows up sometimes.”

Kaylie: “My mom is in Indonesia visiting her charity where poor children make shoes.”
Jack: “Isn’t that just a sweatshop?”

St. Patrick’s Day

Previously on 30 Rock: Standards and Practices (See above)

Jenna, Tracy, and Hazel

Jenna and Tracy are hosting the St. Patrick’s Day Parade and Hazel is failing in her attempts to control them. In reality she’s just making things worst and cracking under the pressure. Kenneth detects the tension and comes to the rescue. Jenna and Tracy talk about their fears and hug it out. Hazel is relieved and Kenneth tells her he’ll always be there. Tracy and Jenna close out the show holding hands and read host # 2’s line in unison.

Game playing

After playing the Colonizer’s of Mallar with the writers, a fantasy style monopoly game Jack is once again questioning his position at Kabletown. He flees to St. Patrick’s Cathedral to find some answers. The answer he finds is to light himself on fire and build something from nothing.

Dennis and Criss

Liz will not be celebrating St. Patrick’s day. Instead she and Criss will be staying home and wearing Orange. Jack however thinks that Liz should learn a St. Patrick’s Day lesson and curses her in Gaelic, which is why Dennis Duffy knocks on Liz’s door and creates a wedge between she and Criss. Liz assumes Dennis was out to get her back, but it turns out he’s married to an irish red head named Megan. Wearing the only green thing she owns, hulk hands, Liz rushes down to Criss’s hot dog stands and struggles a bit but eventually says she loves him.

Best/Funniest Moment

  • Jack cursing Liz
  • Dennis showing up at Liz’s house and throwing himself onto the couch
  • Liz and Criss yelling “Megan” out the window and laughing at the confusion.

Quotes

Hazel: “I’m not about to screw this up Kenneth, ’cause I’d get kicked out of show business, and then how would I be famous? By starting a fire, and then rescuing everyone from it, and then I’m a hero, and then I’m in Playboy?”

Liz: “Dennis Duffy is like the Terminator with cheaper sunglasses.”

Frank: “None of the writers can go out on St. Patrick’s Day because we all have faces people naturally want to punch.”

Jack: “Unfortunately, unless Harry’s Law really took off this week and no one told me, you two are the biggest stars at the network.”

Kristen is a confused young adult who sometimes thinks TV shows are actually her life. Wouldn’t that be cool? Unless she was a victim on Dexter, or a deranged privileged teenager on gossip girl, or a wolf on teen wolf, or Liz Lemon! Never mind. It wouldn’t be cool. Kristen is a young adult. Follow her @kris10_Alyse or read frustrateddreamer.com

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