Previously on 30 Rock: Alexis Goodlooking and the Case of the Missing Whiskey
Never let anyone tell you that this week’s episode will be a repeat! Always find out for yourself. I learned that the hard way and now you’re getting a 2 for 1 30 rock deal! Sweet!
Standards and Practices
It’s the America’s Kidz Got Singing season finale and everyone is really excited, including Hank Hooper and his granddaughter Kaylie (Chloë Grace Moretz, Hit Girl has certainly grown up). Oh wait, no, Kaylie’s not excited she’s just a scheming bitch and still Jack’s nemesis. The finale is an utter failure, not in viewers, but because the American kidz got drunk and threw up on stage. Though it’s a bit more like reality, standards and practices and the FCC didn’t like it much.
Hank flies out to deal with the FCC while Jack digs to the bottom of it and finds Kaylie. Her actions had less to do with the show and more to do with her own teenage girl problems. How Jack followed her squeaky rant I’ll never know. Jack promises to help her, until he realizes she was faking it all along, he foils their meeting and she gets expelled. It’s only afterwards that he understands that’s what she wanted. I guess we’ll be seeing more of her.
Jenna, in an effort to humanize her monstrous image had planned to cry on the final of AKGS, but missed her shot. She remembers making egg donations for money when she was younger. She contacts the donation place and realizes that she has six biological children. She gets rid of one because she’s not as pretty and awful as the rest. But eventually the kids turn on her and oust her because she’s too old. The ugly one, Judy comes back to say goodbye and they go get a cup of coffee.
Liz and Kenneth are battling over the new standards. They argue and we learn that Kenneth can’t actually argue. When Liz has to use the men’s bathroom because the women’s room is being cleaned she overhears Kenneth crying and worrying about how he is ever going to do this job. “Kenneth Toilethole” encourages him and Liz later apologizes. But it’s too late, her scheme to have Tracy perform his lewd stand up comedy act is in place. Kenneth must save the day by bleeping. He succeeds, keeping the FCC at bay.
- Jack interrogating the AKGS finalists
- Liz, Kenneth, and Kenneth TH at dinner.
- Jack taking away Kaylie’s Lacrosse field.
Jack: “Whatever are you doing here, Kaylie Hooper?”
Kaylie: “Enjoying my total lack of adult supervision. I just had fruit roll ups for dinner…at a strip club.”
Kenneth: “I’m Kenneth by the way.”
Liz: “Me too. I’m Kenneth…Kenneth, uh, Toilet Hole.”
Jessica: “So we’re thinking the show’s more like The Girls Next Door, and you’re that old boat captain that shows up sometimes.”
Kaylie: “My mom is in Indonesia visiting her charity where poor children make shoes.”
Jack: “Isn’t that just a sweatshop?”
St. Patrick’s Day
Previously on 30 Rock: Standards and Practices (See above)
Jenna and Tracy are hosting the St. Patrick’s Day Parade and Hazel is failing in her attempts to control them. In reality she’s just making things worst and cracking under the pressure. Kenneth detects the tension and comes to the rescue. Jenna and Tracy talk about their fears and hug it out. Hazel is relieved and Kenneth tells her he’ll always be there. Tracy and Jenna close out the show holding hands and read host # 2’s line in unison.
After playing the Colonizer’s of Mallar with the writers, a fantasy style monopoly game Jack is once again questioning his position at Kabletown. He flees to St. Patrick’s Cathedral to find some answers. The answer he finds is to light himself on fire and build something from nothing.
Liz will not be celebrating St. Patrick’s day. Instead she and Criss will be staying home and wearing Orange. Jack however thinks that Liz should learn a St. Patrick’s Day lesson and curses her in Gaelic, which is why Dennis Duffy knocks on Liz’s door and creates a wedge between she and Criss. Liz assumes Dennis was out to get her back, but it turns out he’s married to an irish red head named Megan. Wearing the only green thing she owns, hulk hands, Liz rushes down to Criss’s hot dog stands and struggles a bit but eventually says she loves him.
- Dennis showing up at Liz’s house and throwing himself onto the couch
- Liz and Criss yelling “Megan” out the window and laughing at the confusion.
Hazel: “I’m not about to screw this up Kenneth, ’cause I’d get kicked out of show business, and then how would I be famous? By starting a fire, and then rescuing everyone from it, and then I’m a hero, and then I’m in Playboy?”
Liz: “Dennis Duffy is like the Terminator with cheaper sunglasses.”
Frank: “None of the writers can go out on St. Patrick’s Day because we all have faces people naturally want to punch.”
Jack: “Unfortunately, unless Harry’s Law really took off this week and no one told me, you two are the biggest stars at the network.”
Kristen is a confused young adult who sometimes thinks TV shows are actually her life. Wouldn’t that be cool? Unless she was a victim on Dexter, or a deranged privileged teenager on gossip girl, or a wolf on teen wolf, or Liz Lemon! Never mind. It wouldn’t be cool. Kristen is a young adult. Follow her @kris10_Alyse or read frustrateddreamer.com