Tag Archives: lawyer

how i met your mother recapping: romewardbound/the bro mitzvah

Previously on How I Met Your Mother: The Time Travelers

Romeward Bound

Marshall and his new wife

Know somewhere I can bury this sausage?

Lily is still working for The Captian who has decided he wants to move to Rome and he wants to take her with him. Lily refuses because she believes Marshall loves his job, but when she goes to visit his office and finds out that the firm has all but shut down Marshall offers her the chance to rethink her refusal. When The Captain offers her the position in Rome a second time, she still says no because she is scared. Marshall talks to her about it and they decide to take the plunge and do it.

Robin, Barney and Ted are all trying to see what the wedding planner’s body looks like under her big baggy coat. Ted has seen it in his pilates classes and says it nuclear. Because Robin seems so cool with it Barney is overly interested in finding out whats under the coat. Ted warns him to be careful. RObin is cool, but she will have a limit. Barney doesn’t heed his warning, so we’ll see where that ends up.

Best/Funniest Moment

  • Marshall’s Rome fantasy
  • Lily’s Rome Fantasy
  • Marshall’s office/job

Quotes
Ted: Indiana Jones wouldn’t look at this body. This is a body that would melt a Nazi’s face.

Lily: When you said you were about to get reamed?
Marshall: Oh right that. No, sometimes for fun, we throw reams of paper at each other. Bernard! Not a good time! Read the room!

The Bro Mitzvah

The Bro Mitzvah

This is legen, don’t bother waiting for it because it sucks, dary.

This is it. The moment Barney has been waiting for. His Bro Mitzvah (bachelor party)! He’s already given Ted and Marshall a list because he believes the two will not be able to pull it off. Ted and Marshall start by kidnapping Barney, a good start, though this means Barney will skip out on dinner with RObin and his mother. They head to a hotel right outside of AC, have a few beers, hire a clown, bring the wrong karate kid, hire Quinn (ex-fiancee) as stripper, Barney gambled so he loses money for caterer and bets Marshall who he loses to the mafia and Robin dumps him for losing the money, marshall and abandoning her at a disastrous dinner with his mom.

Turns out it was all a hoax, but it was also everything Barney wanted, just in the most effed up ways possible. The last surprise of the evening, the clown was the real karate kid (according to Barney)

Seriously though Robin is a pretty epic fiancee.

Best/Funniest Moments

  • Barney’s kidnapping
  • Quinn being the stripper
  • Marshall getting his hand cut off
  • Barney’s mom thinking Robin was a virgin

Quotes
Loretta Stinson: You are so funny. What’s gotten into you? Oh that’s right, nothing, ever.

Barney Stinson: Shut it Ralph Maccio! Why don’t you go have a party with Luke Skywalker and Harry Potter and War Horse and all the other movie bad guys and stop ruining mine!

Robin: I’m not a virgin! My napkin ring has seen plenty of breadsticks and one baguette. I dated a center from the Knicks.

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revenge recapping: commitment

Previously on Revenge: Infamy

Queen Victoria and Her Lawyer

Emily reveals what she has learned about Charlotte to Nolan. Who immediately wonders if this will make Emily change her plans. Emily doesn’t think Charlotte being her sister will complicate the matter. In an act of gratitude, Mr. Grayson will be sending Declan to Charlotte’s private school, though this means he’ll actually have to read Paradise Lost without falling asleep.

During breakfast Mr. Grayson receives a USB with a note that says “Open in Private”. Thunder crack and cue dramatic music. This storm seems to be foreboding something big. Emily is scheming to get Amanda out of town and places the videos she stole from Mason’s house in Emily’s bag. The battle begins as the storm continues to brew and King Conrad shows Queen Victoria what was on that USB: the video of David confessing that Charlotte was most likely his.

Looks like Queen Victoria’s legs were cut out from under her, courtesy of Emily Thorne. King Conrad gets set for a DNA test and Queen Victoria gets set for a tea with Amanda. The result of the DNA test, King Conrad is not Charlotte’s father. The results of the tea: Victoria plays a good game, serving strawberries to Amanda, who should be allergic, but no longer is, since she’s not really Amanda.  The showdown between the two proves to be interesting because Amanda has no reason to kiss Victoria’s ass. It’s the kind of showdown I’ll expect from Emily and Victoria once all is found out, except multiplied by ten, and there should be some kind of explosion. Amanda’s spoon is collected for DNA testing.

Daniel Proposes

King Conrad and Queen Victoria face off again and King Conrad gives her two options: She agrees to his terms or they go to court and everything is exposed. King Conrad tells Charlotte that she has to move back in with her mother. Which obviously upsets Charlotte, and I’m surprised. King Conrad should relish the fact that this girl, who isn’t even technically his, prefers him to her flesh and blood mother. But instead he focuses on his own pride and pain in learning the truth. Daniel sets up an elaborate proposal on the boat where he and Emily first met. And as it starts to pour he pulls out an umbrella gets down on one knee and proposes. Emily says yes….duh. Queen Victoria takes the news horribly, but covers it up as well as she can, with a distinct air of perfected fakery. When Daniel tells his Dad, who calls it out as a plan, Daniel learns a little too much about life and how much it sucks. And the results are in: Amanda Clarke’s DNA matches Charlotte’s and I’m guessing there’s something we don’t know.

Queen Victoria and Daniel

Charlotte shows up at Emily’s for sister bonding time! Well not really, but still. Jack gets beaten up by a man sent by Queen Victoria to retrieve the tapes. Nolan blames Emily for Jack being beaten up. Emily tells Nolan that was never her intention, Nolan doesn’t seem to care. Emily has a meeting under the docks with…wait for it…Victoria’s ex-lawyer. Wait? What?! Yup that’s right.

Victoria’s ex-lawyer has been helping Emily all along. Ahhh so that’s how the DNA results between fake Amanda and her half sister were forged. Lawyer man says he always believed David was innocent but he tells Emily she may want to reassess what she’s doing. Emily visits Jack’s bedside and apologizes to a peacefully sleeping Jack. Then she confesses everything to Amanda and asks her to save herself, and Jack, by leaving.

Daniel asks Queen Victoria to tell him the truth. Queen Victoria tells him that Charlotte’s father is not Conrad, but David Clarke. Daniel seems appalled and assumes that the sex was forced. Q.V. doesn’t correct him, but she does encourage this thought. Emily finds Nolan sulking on the beach and tells him she’s going to press pause on the revenge. But Emily soon finds the conviction to continue her plot for revenge when she learns that Queen Victoria is now claiming David Clarke raped her. Full steam ahead.

Thoughts/Predictions

  • Emily’s wavering commitment, though now reaffirmed, seems too easily swayed by her allies, could this be a weakness in the future?
  • The infamous engagement party where we started is just around the corner, could it be that another player in the scheme is responsible for the shooting?
  • Amanda may be gone for now, but it won’t be long before she is back. Same goes for Tyler.

Quotes

Conrad: “You’re going to be back to Victoria Harper. Which will only be fitting considering you’ll once again be the desperate, penniless little bitch you were when I first met you.”

Ashley: “I’m going to go to the loo and drown myself in it.”
Emily: “It isn’t really our choices that distinguish who we are. It’s our commitment to them.”
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