Previously on Modern Family: Express Christmas
Phil gets a health scare and immediately after, runs out of the lifetime supply of razors he won on a game show. So naturally, he thinks he’s going to die. And, eventually, so does everyone else. Phil’s irrationality is one of my favorite parts of the shows, especially when he starts staring at Luke and Haley. Claire tries, at first, to tell him everything is going to be fine, but eventually she believes his worries. The family all gathers to support Phil, only to find out the doctor was looking for a real estate agent.
Jay and Manny (who looks more like he could’ve stepped off the set of Clueless than like Matt Damon in Bagger Vance), have a planned golf outing. But Manny’s father, Javier (Benjamin Bratt), shows up and wants to take Manny to the race track. Gloria urges Jay to go with them. So the three have a lovely father-son-stepfather outing at the racetrack where we learn Javier can see into a horse’s soul, Jay likes to play it nice and safe by evaluating information, and where Manny gets his impeccable fashion sense. Javier’s soul searching works and his horse wins. Despite the competition, he and Jay come to friendly terms.
Mitchell has won an Environmental Law award, and Cam is very proud of him. He displays Mitchell’s trophy on the mantel. Mitchell soon finds a fishing trophy next to his law trophy. He accepts it, but when the fishing trophy grows taller than his law trophy his annoyance gets the better of him. Cam claims that he has never displayed his many many trophies so as not to hurt Mitchell’s feelings. Mitchell doesn’t believe him and finds clarity in Alex, who agrees completely with Mitchell. In an attempt to no longer act like a 14-year old girl, Mitchell tries to display all of Cam’s trophies, but before he can he is scared by, what I thought was a giant cockroach, but apparently was a black mouse (phew), and Cam finds Mitchell stomping all over his trophies.
In the end the whole family gathers together to offer Phil their support, learn the good news about the bad news never existing, and stare at Javier’s beautifulness. Solidarity is what it’s all about.
- Phil sucking in his stomach at the doctors appointment.
- Gloria telling Jay about her dream, then scolding him for assuming the mouse talks.
- Jay teasing Manny’s father about reading souls by widening his eyes so Javier can read his soul.
- Luke playing video games with the crypt keeper.
- Phil staring at Luke and Haley.
- Mitchell’s Aha! moment, when Alex agrees with his petty actions.
Jay: This is a lot of hocus pocus, I can’t believe I bought a coffee cake over this!!!
Javier: Golf? Psh that sport is for old men and women who like other women.
MVQ: Phil: Let’s dim the lights, crank up Norah Jones and get this over with.
Kristen is a confused young adult who sometimes thinks TV shows are actually her life, wouldn’t that be cool? Unless she was a victim on Dexter, or a deranged privileged teenager on gossip girl, or a wolf on teen wolf, or Liz Lemon! Never mind it wouldn’t be cool. Kristen is a young adult. Follow her @kris10_Alyse or read frustrateddreamer.com