Tag Archives: quotes

thoughts on parks and recreation: the trial of leslie knope

Comedies shouldn’t make you cry. The whole point of watching them is for the humor and LOL moments, but Parks and Recreation, similar to my other favorite NBC comedy (Community), isn’t just funny. When you fall in love with a show that makes you care about the characters, you have to accept that sometimes heart is more important than humor. So with that in mind, here are my favorite parts of ‘The Trial of Leslie Knope’:

  • Ron Swanson reacting to his newfound understanding of how invasive the Internet is by trashing his computer.
  • The Lil’ Sebastian present Ben got for Leslie, but NBC, there’s a time and place for shamelessly promoting your store. That wasn’t it!
  • Chris fighting depression with tons of herbs and vitamins. That bag was huge…too much healthy has to be a little unhealthy, right?
  • I broke one rule and I will accept a slap on the wrist, but when you sit back ad let your reputation be destroyed, you go down in history as a frozen whore. I’m fighting.” Leslie illustrating that heart I mentioned earlier.
  • Leslie’s iMovie announcement that she and Ben had finally hooked up.
  • April and Andy as character witnesses.
  • Khakis and buttondown shorts. Your basic white people clothes.” Donna should have more lines.
  • Ron smelling sulfur coming off of Tammy 2.
  • Former (and current?) Pawnee laws: black people can’t use city sidewalks, all sex positions are prohibited and chicks who laugh are witches.
  • Ben is the antithesis to “chivalry is dead”. I’m a little giddy to see their love flourish outside the confines of sneaking around. Plus, Tom and Ann have shown us that the show can handle characters that don’t work for the PandR department.
  • Ethel, the whole episode.
  • Poor Jerry Gary.


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the office recapping: gettysburg

By: Joe Finch

Barring some fantastic quips and a couple of hilarious scenes, this week’s episode of The Office was sluggish enough to make a Gettysburg tour seem more exciting.

In yet another episode heavily dominated by Andy and his insecurities, he continues to try and convince people of his leadership by taking some of the “troops” on a field trip to Gettysburg. After delivering a long winded speech comparing war to paper sales, we are finally treated to some comic relief when Gabe is mistaken for Abraham Lincoln (which isn’t the first time). Gabe embraces his new role as the former President, and delivers a hysterical performance, tying his own suffering into the monologue.

While half the staff holds down the fort back in Scranton, Robert stops in and gives them an impromptu challenge to come up with new ideas, and adds that they should feel free to “get weird with it.” Well, that they do. Ryan comes up with an idea to invest in origami, the next big Japanese craze to hit America since sushi.  Stanley underwhelms Robert with his idea of women’s paper, even after attempting to play the race card with it. The only idea that invigorates Robert comes from a very unlikely source—Kevin. Kevin’s analysis of cookie placement in the vending machine spurs Robert to shift the focus of their product line, and credits Kevin with the concept. However, Robert also learns about Kevin’s Big Mac idea (take one ingredient a day out of a Big Mac and save it, so that by week’s end you have a free Big Mac), and realizes his cookie pitch was not a metaphor, it was literally a cookie concern.

Back over at Gettysburg, Dwight adamantly insists that Schrute Farms was a bloodier battlefield, only to find out from a historian that Schrute Farms was a refuge site for dandies and dreamers. Meanwhile, Andy grows frustrated with the lack of enthusiasm shown by his underlings, and vents his frustrations to Jim and Darryl.

The show’s saving grace was incorporating the entire cast into the mix. Although it was mostly a toxic combination of Andy and Robert again, it had enough cameo shots to ease the pain. However, the pity party for Andy needs to stop. If the writers want us to move on from the Michael Scott era, then stop reminding us week after week that Andy is the new manager. Just let him be the boss and go about running the company.

Also, it is still so unclear what the developing storylines of the season are, if there are any at all. After last week’s episode, there was potential for a growing plot involving Jim’s health, which wasn’t addressed at all in this episode. Some sitcoms can get away with never really developing a lingering story, but The Office doesn’t have this luxury, considering they have had developing sagas for eight seasons.

The show has really been picking up lately in the comedic department, but came to a screeching halt with this episode. Then again, this should surprise no one, considering the writers chose “Gettysburg” as the optimal location to draw laughs.



Andy – “I can’t force you to go. You’re not my slaves. Thanks to Gettysburg.”

Ryan – “Robert, you got your sheep. You got your black sheep. And I’m not even a sheep. I’m on the freaking moon.”

Jim – “Of course we’re not tourists. We’re just people that aren’t from here that are taking a tour.”

Dwight – “Mad props to Gettysburg.”

Ryan – “Origami—it’s the sushi of paper.”

Stanley – “Paper for women. Pink, scented, and silky soft. Now, you can watch the game, and she can write a letter to her sister.”

Ryan – “Okay, we are now on a planet where Kevin is the most creative person around, and I am just some good looking guy.

Gabe – (performing as Abe Lincoln) “Perhaps a trip to the theater will enlighten my spirits.”

Phyllis – “All I had for breakfast was oatmeal, yogurt, coffee, orange juice and toast—two poached eggs and half a sandwich on the bus.”

Jim – “I’m wearing a very pink hat. I’ve been getting weird looks all day because I’m pretty sure ‘DM Does GB’ means something sexual.”

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ghost adventures recapping: lizzie borden house

This week, our favorite trio head to “one of the darkest haunts in New England,” the Lizzie Borden house, in Fall River, Massachusetts. Borden was accused of brutally murdering her father and step-mother with an axe, but she was eventually acquitted. Zak apparently hasn’t had enough of demons from last week, since he claims startling new evidence that suggests Borden may have been a victim of demonic possession. Sigh.


Property manager Lee-Ann Wilber starts the tour by taking the guys up to the bedroom where Mrs. Borden was murdered, struck 17 times with an axe. Aaron comments on how aggressive the murder was, as if someone was taking it out on the victim, and Zak mumbles, “or somebody possessed by a demon.” They head downstairs to the scene of Mr. Borden’s murder. Lee-Ann has Zak sit down on a couch and lean against the armrest. He asks where Mr. Borden was found, and she replies, “right about there,” causing him to leap off the couch. Zak nervously notes that Lee-Ann is wearing hatchet-shaped earrings, and she suggests she “may have spent too much time alone in the house.”

Zak comments on the “dark forces” that continue to plague the house, and talks to some witnesses. They start with paranormal investigators Matt Moniz and Tim Weisberg. While investigating in the basement, they claim they a woman was scratched and Tim was thrown against the wall. Upstairs on the third floor, medium Liz Nowicki witnessed a camera move on its own – twice. Tour guide Eleanor Thibault claims she had footsteps follow her up the stairs from the basement and that she knows a spirit is down there.

Ghost Adventures Lizzie Borden House

Courtesy of Travel Channel

The interviews continue upstairs with Kat Owens, one of the owner’s daughters. She claims her ear was tugged while looking at some jewelry. Zak has delusions of grandeur and decides all his questions make him seem like a lawyer, but Kat shoots him down when he misidentifies a photo of Mrs. Borden. Kat says her sister had an experience in the house and refuses to go inside. Zak is intrigued, but Lauren takes little convincing to go back into the room where she mysteriously passed out before. Zak calls on the spirits to interact with them, but nothing happens.

The guys learn there is more murderous history to the Borden family, and head to a local cemetery to meet with paranormal author Jeff Belanger. They spend some time wandering the cemetery, with Zak waxing philosophic on how his arm will “be fertilizer one day,” before finding Jeff. He tells them that in 1848, Andrew Borden’s aunt went crazy and drowned two of her children in a well before slitting her own throat. Zak wonders if a “dark spirit or curse” was influencing the Bordens.


To start off the investigation, the guys use a REM pod, a device that generates a small electromagnetic field that spirits can manipulate. Almost immediately the device starts going off, and Zak decides to use it for communication – one beep for yes, two for no. He asks if the spirit wants to harm them, and if it is the Borden’s murderer, and gets positive responses to both questions. Interestingly, when he asks if it is evil, he gets a no.

While walking around, they start hearing unexplained movement. Behind Aaron, there are loud footsteps on the stairs and they follow them to the room where Mrs. Borden was murdered. Once there, they capture an EVP stating “I’ll take you to heaven.” Zak heads to one of the attic bedrooms by himself. Shortly after sitting down, a scraping sound is heard from the next room and he discovers the nightstand drawer is open. Upon reviewing the footage, the drawer was closed when Zak first came upstairs, so it appears to have moved on its own.

At this point, the guys invite in witnesses Eleanor and Liz to conduct a group EVP session, with a thermal camera and a digital recorder attached to an axe blade to capture any evidence. Meanwhile, in the attic room, an EVP is captured stating, “keep on killing…keep’em coming.” They decide to use the spirit box, a device that sweeps radio frequencies so that spirits can communicate in the white noise. As soon as the device is on, they start getting intelligent responses. When they ask who attacked people, they clearly get the name “Lizzie.” A flashlight turns on by itself, and their recorder captures an angry EVP stating, “tell’em about the GIRL!”

Liz feels she knows why Mr. Borden was murdered, and though they edit out what she actually says, it’s implied he was having a sexual relationship with his daughter. Angry EVPs seemingly directed at Liz are captured. The tone in the room gets darker, and both Nick and Zak start to feel sick. The more accusations Liz throws out, the more agitated they become. They let the women out of the house. The episode ends with a debriefing by the guys. Zak (in a ridiculous cowboy hat) says the same aggression that they later heard in their EVPs was channeled into them, and that they were close to actually harming the two women. Nick concludes rather grimly, “It was sinister.”

Overall, this was a good episode. They toned down the ridiculousness and worked with dark history of the house, and got some creepy responses. Let’s hope the trend continues.


Zak – I kind of feel like an attorney right now. Tell me, and the jury, what was on the tablecloth?
Kat Owens – There was a necklace right here.
Zak – So it would be safe to say that when you were looking at the jewelry, you also glanced at the photo of Lizzie Borden?
Kat Owens – That’s actually Mrs. Borden.
Zak – That’s not Lizzie?
Aaron – I call a mistrial!

Zak – We want to find out if there is a demonic energy that is hovering over this family causing them to kill each other. So if that energy gets to us, I really hope we don’t kill each other tonight, Aaron.
Aaron – [nervously] I hope so too!

Liz – It only picks on girls.
Aaron – Well there are three girls in the room, Nick and I are the only men. A little humor for the ghosts.
Zak – I know where the axe is…I can make you a girl in two seconds.

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american horror story recapping: murder house

The House: 1983

“I’ve loved you since I was 16.”

 Young Moira is doing her usual maid duties when the man of the house propositions her. Although their conversation makes it clear they’ve been intimate before, Young Moira has no interest in a repeat performance. The husband isn’t familiar with ‘no means no’ and during the struggle, neither party hears that the wife is slowly approaching…clutching a gun. The wife enters the room and we see that it’s a young Constance (compliments of Benjamin Button CGI). She shoots Moira in the eye and then kills her husband. But somehow Moira survived…

The House: Now

“Don’t make me feel like I’m crazy.”

In one of the show’s more seamless transitions we’re ‘back’ in the same room, except Ben and Vivien are having the argument. Although it initially sounds like they’re arguing about the Hayden situation, we learn that he’s been hiding another lie: they’re relatively broke. Vivien tells Ben that if she finds out he’s lied about anything else, they’re done. Oh Vivien, you have no idea!

She’s not anxious; she’s angry and ready to get the hell out of that house. A quick call to the realtor reveals what we all knew…the house isn’t exactly a hot commodity in the housing market. After a few threatening words exchanged between Vivien and the realtor, as well as a shot at Obama, it’s agreed that they’ll try to sell the house. Very, very unlikely.

Elsewhere in the house, Moira catches Constance stealing the silver. The venom between the two makes a little more sense now that we know Moira had an affair with Constance’s husband, perhaps the only man she ever really loved. Just when one part of their dynamic is explained, we’re left to figure out why neither can move on and how they became stuck.

“I just get the stains, do you want to make a new one?”

Ben has a new patient, Sally Freeman (Adina Porter aka Tara’s mom on TrueBlood). Her husband is ending their 23-year marriage because she’s boring. Knowing football is a great way to make your man happy, but not so much when you’re only able to blandly recite team names. During their conversation Ben blacks out and wakes up in his yard, with blood on his hands.

Young Moira is cleaning up the bloody mess and does her usual flirting with Ben, except things get a little more physical than flirty and Vivien catches them. FINALLY Ben tells Vivien that Moria has been coming on to him. During Moira’s outburst she notes that Ben (and men in general) see her as they want to see her, while women see who she is inside. The conversation ends with Vivien telling Ben he’s paranoid, crazy and guilty, all of which are caused by his indiscretion with Hayden.

“And the next stop on our tour of departed souls…murder house.”

Violet seems apathetic to last week’s home invasion when Ben interrupts her smoke break. Once he leaves, we see that Tate was also there and judging from his appreciation for how good a dad Ben is, it seems his father wasn’t as caring. Of course with Tate you spend more time reading what he doesn’t say than the few things he does.

Hayden pops up and lets Ben know that she didn’t have the abortion and that she matters, as well as demanding he meet her at 3. Ben shoos her out of the house and we can practically hear his heart pounding with anxiety. He gets more on his plate when a detective comes to the house and tells Ben that Sally is missing. Interestingly enough, the detective seems more concerned with looking at Young Moira than finding ol’ boring Sally.

“You were cruising me, I thought you were fair game.”

Vivien decides to take the LA murder tour and in addition to the arbitrary (???) murder of a seemingly gay actor, she learns more about the history of the home. In 1922, Charles and Nora Montgomery were a “happy” married couple.

Charles was a surgeon who developed a Frankenstein complex and drug addiction. During his downward spiral the bill collectors hovered around their home and his not-at-all supportive wife has Charles do surgeries/abortions for money. Very shifty and although their reign lasted about four years, their story did not have a happy ending.

Vivien begins bleeding after hearing the story, but her doctor assures her that “a little discharge is perfectly normal” and advises her not to move, since it will only cause additional stress. Ben is briefly haunted by his sexual demons and faints. Ben recovers and goes for his usual jog, which includes his usual harassment from Denis, who asks for a $1000 for headshots because he wants to act.

“Who you trying to protect doc?”

Ben, again, wakes up in his backyard, but this time he has a shovel. Constance warns him that the soil he’s digging is toxic and she suggests he just build over the whole thing.

Nora rings the doorbell and Vivien was understandably cautious from last week’s invasion but cares more about showing off the house to a potential buyer. Nora notes that she also had a child and we see a huge hole in the back of her head just before she vanishes.

The detective returns and tells Ben that they found Shelly. She was in the hospital after a suicide attempt, which was foreshadowed by the recorded conversation Ben tried to cover up. The detective tells Ben “it’s not a crime to be an asshole,” but Ben realizes he’s being drugged.

Hayden returns and similar to Vivien, she’s preggo and angry. After forcing a kiss that Ben ahs the decency not to enjoy, they head out the door to go someplace to discuss their situation. As they step out the door, Denis hits Hayden, killing her.

Hayden’s body is buried, right next to another body and the hole is sealed when Ben builds a gazebo. The way Moira and Constance react definitely means they know the owner of that body and probably means the body is Moira, who is now trapped forever.

The episode ends with Nora sitting in bed with Vivien and Ben…WTH.

So where does all of this leave us?

The episode basically confirms that Denis, Constance and Moira are connected. However, now that we know about Nora, a whole slew of questions are introduced. Is she also connected? Does this mean that anyone who dies in the house is tied there forever? Are these “people” related or just bonded by the house?

Hayden may be out of the picture physically, but why did Denis insist that it was better he was the one who killed her and not Ben? Would Violet really run away? And did Tate give her that idea or is she just being a rebellious teenager? Speaking of Tate, why was he at the window and why did he ignore Constance when she waved at him?

After this episode, I’m officially invested in American Horror Story. I like that we’re seeing more of the ‘story’ element, with less emphasis placed on the ‘horror’. This will probably all change with the first part of next week’s Halloween episode. At this point overall opinions on this show have been very mixed, I predict that this was the episode that either confirmed those that will keep tuning in and ending things for viewers that were on the fence.

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community recapping: competitive ecology

Will’s P.O.V.

Chang is determined to become a detective of the security guards by day’s end and he begins to make a case to solve to prove himself. Living in a utility closet, “married” to a mannequin leg, and not understanding how mirrors and reflections work are concerns that should be higher on his list. Somehow during his “investigation” he manages to buy thousands of matches, burn down his living quarters, steal a saxophone and figure out that Larry Bird was behind his imaginary scheme. But with Dean Pelton not wanting to get the police involved when the fire breaks out, Chang gets the promotion he wanted when his boss quits. If there were any questions about the lengths Chang will go to to solidify his status as a total spaz I’m pretty sure this episode puts that to rest.

Professor Kane tells the study group that they have to split up and partner with “randoms” for the rest of the semester. Of course, they manage to talk their way out of it and partner up amongst themselves – with the exception of Pierce who gets partner with Todd. After the initial pairings (Troy/Abed, Annie/Jeff, Shirley/Britta), everyone realizes they would rather be paired with someone else. They have a vote and still no partners are decided…and they spent the WHOLE NIGHT at Greendale trying to figure it out. So they head straight to class unprepared, except Annie who somehow managed to do her work during the meeting while everyone was arguing – she’s good. Professor Kane decides that they will be group together all year and they will share one table, microscope, and final grade.

I can sense that the recurring theme of this season of Community is going to focus on how much the group is attached to one another and just the group as a whole. It has been the main theme every episode since the season began and I hope they veer from this path soon because it may get redundant soon.

Nicole’s P.O.V.

Chang living at the school is sad. Chang loving a mannequin leg is sadder, but he fact that he’s mentally living out a film noir was the saddest part of all. Outside of Chang’s mini-story, most of the laughs from this episode came from “unknowns” (aka people not in the notorious study group).

Sure Jeff imitating Abed’s oddities was funny, but the whole popular/unpopular pairing thing just fell flat for me. But that’s the hard part about understanding the smart writing behind Community sometimes. I’m not sure if what was supposed to be funny just wasn’t or if they made group have an already overdone argument about their dynamics to illuminate other characters.

Regardless, Michael K. Williams’ Professor Kane was my favorite this week. Who else was going to ask the hard-hitting questions about the long gone simplicity of Legos?! And poor Todd, he originally took all of that insanity in stride and took “no offense” to practically every rude comment they directly or indirectly shot his way. I hope the single tear drop wasn’t the last we see of him.


“Did you know that sugar is like baby meth? That’s what my homeopath said.” – Britta
“Well maybe your gay friend should mind his own business?” – Shirley

“Why don’t they just make tires out of pavements so you can drive on anything?” – Chang

“You’re just a good grade in a tight sweater.” – Jeff
“You’re just a bad grade in a tight sweater! And who the hell are you always texting?! Everyone you know is here!” – Annie

“We had a name for people like you in prison; we called you the ‘mean clique’.” –Professor Kane

“There’s Ben dressed like a Dracula.” – Shirley

(Awww from the group)
“Here’s me and Abed dressed as Nick Nolte and Eddie Murphy.” – Troy
(Awww from the group)
“Who’s Nick Nolte?”
– Annie
(Awww from the group)

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