tvdinner&amovie

Big Brother has returned!

Although it’s been pretty hot for weeks now, my summer doesn’t officially begin until the Chenbot reminds the houseguests (and viewers) to “expect the unexpected.” This season’s first “twist” came in the form of four returning houseguests: Britney Haynes (BB 12), Janelle Pierzina (BB 6/BB Allstars), Dan Gheesling (BB 10) and Mike “Boogie” Malin (BB 2/BB Allstars). I would have loved to see Jun Song and James Rhine come back and mentor, but alas, that wish goes ungranted.

In addition to watching the new houseguests compete against each other each week for HoH, we will also see the four mentors compete against each other to have one member of their team ultimately win the game. This means presents the opportunity for more alliances and better drama, and as we learned last season, grouping newbies with veterans can make for great sabotage. Games within games, it’s like Big Brother inception!

Solely based on superficial judgment, here’s what I thought of the new cast during the first episode:

• Frank (Naples, FL): With a hairstyle reminiscent of a pre-buff Carrot Top, athleticism and a funny disposition, this guy has the potential to coast through the first few weeks. I don’t see him making any enemies early on or even getting his hands dirty. Reminds me of Hayden (BB 12).
• Danielle (Tuscaloosa, AL): Southern belle, really sweet and personable. She could be a floater, but she also has the potential to join the right alliance and surprise people by winning a few competitions. Reminds me of Jordan (BB 11).
• Shane (Bennington, VT): Alpha male with an easygoing attitude. If he doesn’t have a showmance at some point, I’ll be very surprised. Reminds me of Jeff (BB 11).
• Jodi (Calipatria, CA): That headband! I immediately knew she’d be compared to Kalia from last season. Honestly, they both had floater written all over them from the start, but outside of that and the obvious, there’s not much to compare. Different occupations and marital statuses, but most importantly, different attitudes (Jodi was a little boring IMO). Regardless, we’ll never know how well she would have done in the game.
• Ian (New Orleans, LA): The resident geek who will think he can outsmart everyone because of his book smarts. Very, very cute and also destined for a showmance of some sort. Reminds me of Michelle (BB 11).
• Wil (Louisville, KY): Who needs two Ls anyway? His hair is magical and he’s definitely going to be good for a quip or two. Reminds me of Marcellas (BB 3), but hopefully he plays smarter.
• JoJo (Staten Island): She’s a bitch. She’s a party girl. She’s “street smart”. I have no clue how that will translate to winning the game, but at least it’ll be fun to watch. I guarantee she gets into at least one argument/fight before the end of week three. Reminds me of the Meow Meow (BB 12) or Jersey Shore’s Angelina, take you pick.
• Willie (Dayton, TX): Desperate to be the villain and not interested in making friends. He’ll start gunning for the alpha male position as soon as possible, which also means being “that guy” who calls a house meeting so someone can get called out for making backdoor deals or something similar. Reminds me of Russell (BB 11).
• Kara (Los Angeles, CA): Anyone who starts by saying their “100% single” is clearly more focused on the dating game than winning BB. She will be a floater, if she even makes it far enough along to float.
• Joe (Schereville, IN): He cooks and he’s old enough to play the father-figure role. This will buy him some time as the stronger players go after each other.
• Jenn (Brooklyn, NY): Her look will immediately alienate some of the houseguests, but her personality will reel them back in. She’ll be too smart to play the pawn, which should get her relatively far in the game; however, I doubt she wins. Reminds me of Nokomis (BB 5).
• Ashley (Pittsburgh, PA): Janelle and Rachel have already instilled in us the importance of  never underestimating the beauty AND brains it takes to win the game. With that in mind, I’ll reserve my judgment that this spray-tan technician is ditzy and instead root for her not to become the floater I’m worried she’s destined to be.

Here are the teams (as of right now):

Britney: Shane, Willie, JoJo
Boogie: Frank, Ian, Jen
Janelle: Wil, Ashley, Joe
Dan: Kara, Danielle, Jodi

I believe Britney or Boogie will be the winning mentor, the jury (haha) is still out on the winning newbie.

A few other stray observations:

• Danielle lied about her career and said she was a teacher instead of a nurse. They’re both professions that require comforting and patience, so I’m not sure why she thinks lying was relevant.
• Willie lied about being related to Russell (Survivor). When it comes out that he lied, which it will, he’ll have given any HoH a default reason to nominate him without looking shady. Genius plan there Willie.
• Dan is SUPER into coaching. I don’t think his team is capable of winning, but I respect the enthusiasm.

Nicole is a TV junkie and TVDM helps her feed a lifelong addiction. She can be found here, providing biased commentary (sprinkled with a few Pop Up Video-esque insights) on her favorite shows, every week.