it’s always sunny in philadelphia’s best quotes: the gang recycles their trash

  • “Twenty bucks an hour, that’s an outrage, these guys are blasting us in the ass.” – Mac
    “We pay their salaries and they turn around and ass blast us? Come on.”
    – Dennis
    “What are you talking about? You don’t pay taxes, you don’t even vote.”
    – Sweet Dee
    “Who am I supposed to vote for? The Republican who’s blasting me in the ass or the Democrat who’s blasting me in the ass?”
    – Dennis
    “Yeah, politics is all one big ass blast.”
    – Charlie

(Sound familiar?)

  • “In the 1950s, yeah, you could drive around door-to-door in a windowless van and people didn’t think they were going to get raped. Now, they will think that. This is better.” – Dennis
    “I know, and plus, with the tuxedos, you know, honestly, who wouldn’t want their trash-man in a tuxedo? I know I would.” – Charlie

  • “The whore politician is outdated Frank. That is an idea that’s best left in the trash. I am presenting myself as a powerful lady.” – Dee
    “You’re presenting yourself as a banana.” – Frank

  • “Knock it off you lousy bitch.” – Frank

  • “Mac, you have an exceptional number of bugs in your teeth. You’re going to want to rinse those out, it’s disgusting.” – Dennis

  • “Hello/We bet you hate that smell (that smell)/That smell from all your trash (your trash)/We bet you’d like three charming men to take your trash from you (from you)/We have a limousine (a limousine)/That we can fill with trash (fill with trash)/So please let us take your trash from you.” – Charlie, Mac and Dennis singing a beautiful a capella sales pitch for their trash “business”

  • “I don’t get it. We take you to a titty bar and you say no to us. We bring you to this place with all these juicy dongs and you shut us down. What team are you playing for?” – Frank

  • “This man has been realigned. He’s a yestergay.” – Sweet Dee
    “What’s a yestergay?” – Frank
    “A lot of men bounce around from label to label, never quite finding their proper gay home. My hunch is that this gentleman has gone from a twink to a twunk to a twank.” – Sweet Dee

  • “I, for one, am of the belief that some things can’t be thrown in the trash, Frank. And your sexuality is one of them.” – Sweet Dee
    “I totally agree, some cocks can’t be unsucked.” – Frank

  • “The ‘gulls are shitting all over me.”  – Mac

  • “When was the last time a white lady pick up after you when you threw your orange sodas and your grape sodas on the ground?”Martina Martinez

  • “We should get rugs for the bar.” – Dennis
    “We should make rugs for the bar.” – Mac
    “Make them?” – Dennis
    “I got a rug guy.”  – Frank
    “We could put on a show where we play rug salesmen.” – Sweet Dee

  • “He’s a twink versatile, you watch yourself.” – Sweet Dee
    “Ooh, I wouldn’t be able to satisfy him. A twink versatile? That’s impressive.” – Dennis
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